- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

This Week Tom Brady Will Prove That He’s A Horrible Person - Brady should respond to the media’s treatment of Drew Brees by wearing a Saints jersey and throwing every time he touches the ball, whether they’re up by 200 or not. [Smoking Section]

The First Ever KSK Fantasy Football Awards - The award for Worst Fantasy Football Player In History goes to me for my piss-rank performance in our Draftstreet promotions this season. Man, and to think I once won a Yahoo league without ever updating it. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

Video: Robert Griffin III’s Incredible TD Run - I watched this from the ellipticals at the gym LIKE A BOSS. Then I realized if I was a boss, I’d just be using the treadmills. Also, I wouldn’t be holding my iPod when I ran. [Yardbarker]

2011: The Year of the UFC Title Curse - It just goes to show you, true MMA success isn’t in winning championships, it’s in entertaining EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU! (that is MMA, right) [Cage Potato]

Don Cherry’s Piano Desk - So is Don Cherry trying to look like Tyler Perry’s Mr. Brown, or is that just a coincidence? [Buzzfeed]

Prisoner Says Jamie Foxx Is A Skank Robbers Robber - “Madea gets kidnapped by a white guy and must sincerely plead for her life” is the most amazing, psychotic idea for a movie ever. Prisons would be even better if they were underground. [Film Drunk]

5 Reasons Firefly Was Lucky To Get Canceled - Just think of it like a British show. Or like ‘Cowboy Bebop’, which was much better and basically the same thing. [Gamma Squad]

These Kids Are Terrible - Watching kids be unable to get through the Legends Of The Hidden Temple temple without collapsing and sh*tting themselves is stressful. I used to love how hard the Hidden Temple questions were. GEORGE WASHINGTON WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES. WHO WAS THE FIRST PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, GEORGE WASHINGTON OR HAM SANDWICH and the kids would just STAND THERE. [Warming Glow]

Zooey Deschanel And Joseph Gordon-Levitt Would Like To Hear About Your New Years Eve Plans - Masturbating to Zooey Deschanel, and probably Joseph Gordon-Levitt. Just kidding, nobody likes Zooey Deschanel anymore! [UPROXX]

5 Beauty Lessons We Learned This Year From Amanda Seyfried - I hope “get your boobs out, go wrist-deep on Julianne Moore” is on the list. [Glamour Beauty]

Yeah, I get shot with arrows like 70 times a day, I don’t know what happened with you.

Links

Power Up: The Top 14 Video Games Of 2011 - It goes “Skyrim”, then everything else. And this is coming from a guy who spent a day and a half diving off a crane with Batman trying to get a dumb power-up. [Smoking Section]

7 Things About “The League” Cast that You Probably Didn’t Know - I wish the guy who does the voice for Space Ghost was actually on ‘The League’. [Warming Glow]

Daniel Day-Lewis In Full Costume On The Set Of Lincoln - I’ve never wanted to chant “holy shit” at a picture before, but here we are. Lining up to see this already. [Film Drunk]

Donald Glover Tells Marc Maron That He Masturbates To Susan Sarandon - And I masturbate to Susan Sarandon’s daughter. We’re destined to be best friends. [UPROXX]

Patton Oswalt Made A Parody PSA Of The Alamo Drafthouse No Texting PSA - Alamo Drafthouse rules because it’s the only place in the world besides my living room where I can watch a movie in silence and eat a tofu sandwich simultaneously. [UPROXX]

Rick Perry Dr. Seuss Books - There are two books. No, three. [Buzzfeed]

Adult Swim Interview: Norm Macdonald Digs Shakespeare - I need to Google Alert Norm or something because I missed FOUR NORM MACDONALD SHOWS in Austin. He needs commercials and blimp messages and couriers stopping by my house with printed-out reminders. [Adult Swim]

‘We Bought a Zooey’ Is the Quirky Feel-Good Movie of the Holiday Season - doooooooooooooWOP! [The FW]

Best Performances of 2011: From Uggie to Rooney Mara, the Top 11 in ’11 - Reed Diamond as Mark Shapiro in Moneyball in a walk. I thought it was actually Mark Shapiro for like two weeks. [Moviefone]

Rating the 10 Most Traumatic Character Deaths of the Year in Television - Lists like these are the best reason to not give Joss Whedon television shows. [Pajiba]

Here’s another reason why you shouldn’t have turned on Zooey Deschanel for being “quirky” — she can sing the Star-Spangled Banner without putting her finger in her ear and trying to break it down.

Last week we shared with you the news that the star of FOX’s ‘New Girl’ and YouTube’s The Zooey Deschanel Show (not really) would be singing Our National Anthem before Game 4 of the World Series, and because I love baseball and All The Real Girls and have an “EXCUSES TO POST PICTURES OF HOT CHICKS” tag, here she is. Her performance is so straight-forward, in fact, that the video leaves me with only two questions:

1. When people make the shape of the country out of the flag like that, why don’t they ever try to include Alaska and Hawaii? and
2. Is George W. Bush the only President we’ve ever had who says he likes baseball and actually does? [Terse Political Comment here] but at least he can throw a baseball without looking like a complete liar.

Part of me wishes Zooey had Zooey’d up the anthem and had a hand-clapping children’s chorus in the background, or M. Ward milling around somewhere behind her holding a guitar three sizes too big for him. And if you’d prefer a less indie joke, FOX has lined up Damon Wayans Jr. to sing the anthem for Game 5, and another guy to take over for him two lines in.

The World Series got off to the best start imaginable for everyone on Earth last night, as the St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Texas Rangers 3-2 with absolutely zero controversy at all. Nope, Adrian Beltre just needs some bigger feet, that’s all. And the world rejoiced over the awesomeness of the Cardinals winning Game 1, as well as Tim McCarver slipping further into dementia, MLB doing the right thing by letting Dirk Nowitzki throw out a first pitch, and a bunch of hippies really showing the corporate World Series what’s up.

But none of that matters now, because Fox has made sure that its love of synergy will melt our hearts.

Zooey Deschanel has double duty on Fox: The star of the new series “New Girl” also is performing at the World Series.

Deschanel is from the indie pop duo She & Him. She’ll sing the national anthem at Game 4 of the Major League Baseball seven-game series between the St. Louis Cardinals and the Texas Rangers. It airs Sunday on Fox.

(Via WHDH Boston)

This is great news for two reasons. First, for some unknown, godless reason, MLB has Trace Adkins and Ronnie Dunn singing the National Anthem for games 2 and 3, respectively, and that’s just way too much country music for anyone’s taste. Especially Adkins. I’d love to meet the Mad Libs copy editor who wrote his cookie cutter hits like “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk” and “Hot Mama” so I can smack him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper.

The good news is that our beloved Zooey isn’t just some darling hipster eye candy. She really can sing, and she already has a little baseball experience. After the jump, some of her performances, as well as a delightfully gratuitous gallery of our favorite Deschanel sister.

Read the rest of this entry »