If you aren’t already privy to his legend, meet the Blackburn Chicken. He’s a living, actual chicken that gets released onto the field whenever Blackburn Rovers fans want to protest something like, for example, the poultry company that owns the team.
I don’t know why he’s been unleashed here (and it’s probably not the same chicken), but I enjoy the call and response that happens when he appears. The Blackburn Chicken remains relatively still as a security guard creeps up on him … everyone in the stands goes WHOOOOOOOAAAAAH in anticipation, and when the guard makes his move the chicken FLEES and everybody goes YEAHHHHHH and the game continues. I hope the chicken was released in protest of the lazy-ass security guards Blackburn has. Those guys are not giving it their all.
This should be the team’s next security training video:
As a kid who grew up fearing the pink aisle because of what it said about me, I’m happy kids like this are starting to exist.
I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I spent Christmas Eve facepalming in Cowboys Stadium and I don’t even like the Cowboys. If you got gifts and want to let strangers know about them, tell us what you got in the comments section below. We’ve got staggered, “thread” style commenting enabled now, so people can troll you directly.
On A Christmas Story, Its Lessons For Hip-Hop & Biggie Smalls - “Rich and chocolate like Ovaltine!” – Ludacris, probably [Smoking Section]
New And Improved And Watchable Jingle All The Way - This makes me want to spend all day watching Commando. [UPROXX]
The 100 Greatest Christmas Shows - My pal Mike Westfall’s list from 2004, which sadly cannot include Annie Edison putting baby Jesus in the tree. Still a pretty definitive list. [Progressive Boink]
All I Want For Christmas Is A ‘Game Of Thrones’ Teaser And A Fresh Prince Reunion - My weirdest and most Abed-like career goal is to buy (or recreate) the set from The Fresh Prince, live there, and occasionally have James Avery stop by and hang out with me. Getting him to say WHAT THE BLAZES would be a bonus. [Warming Glow]
20 Screaming Santa Visits - I feel like kids who cry on Santa’s lap are fundamentally wrong, and this should be an indicator that what you’re doing isn’t working. A child should not be terrified of someone who wants to give them tons of gifts and already has their parents’ permission. They’re going to suck when they get older. [Buzzfeed]
The Colts Choked When They Tried To Suck - That gif is just the greatest thing in the world. And yes, the Texans blowing that game was a Christmas present to Indianapolis and/or St. Louis, you can’t convince me otherwise. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Hey Zelda Fans – The Timeline Exists, And Here It Is - I can’t believe I’m actually looking at this thing. It’s like I’ve found my way to El Dorado. [Gamma Squad]
Every Batman Suit Ever - Also, a great reminder that everything ever said by Batman not written for The Animated Series or the Justice League cartoon is f**king stupid sounding. [Film Drunk]
The 25 Greatest MMA Photos Of 2011 - MMA would be 100% better if they didn’t do that forced staredown thing every single time. Also, pro wrestling would be better if they didn’t try to do the MMA staredown for their video packages every week. [Cage Potato]
Lindsey Vonn Says She Isn’t Dating Tim Tebow - … but isn’t “opposed” to dating him. Well, hopefully that changed after this weekend. [Sportress Of Blogitude]
ACW: Delusions Of Our Childish Days 2011 - The Dirty Dirty Sheets review of the latest Anarchy show in Austin. Still not 100% on why I’m not their correspondent for these things, but hey. Rachel Summerlyn in a Santa suit. [DirtyDirtySheets]
There’s Already A Majora’s Mask Remake, It’s Called Skyward Sword - True story: I was more excited for Twilight Princess than any video game in history. I kept up with news, put in pre-orders, everything. It got pushed back. Then it got pushed back farther. And farther. Then it was on a different system. By the time it actually came out we’d grown apart and it was blurry as f**k, and I never played past that stupid part where you have to fish and herd goats, or whatever. I changed, Zelda, and you didn’t. [Gamma Squad]
‘Modern Family’: The Most Effortlessly Predictable Show On TV - I agree with this, but wonder how funny it would’ve been to have had the Internet back when shows didn’t have to be dynamic. “WHY HAVEN’T SANFORD AND SON CHANGED THEIR RELATIONSHIP AT ALL THIS IS RIDICULOUS” [Warming Glow]
The KSK Sex & Fantasy Football Mailbag, Now Christian Friendly - I started my own Afternoon Snooze Button site, but it wasn’t on the Internet, and it turns out I was just on a ton of drugs. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Really, Lionsgate? An American Psycho Remake? - So they’re “updating” and “modernizing” it, and best case scenario it’ll come out looking something like the Mila Kunis vehicle American Psycho: American Psychoer, The Chickening. [Film Drunk]
The New New Twitter Design Sure Looks Pretty - Awesome, now I can be ignored by celebrities and called the f-word on a more aesthetically pleasing interface! [UPROXX]
Pulp Fiction In Chronological Order Validates YouTube’s Time Limit Increase - They should modernize and reimagine and update Pulp Fiction, because the milkshake should be 15 dollars. [UPROXX]
Works Of Art: Rap’s 33 Most Memorable Illustrated Album Covers - Come for Drake getting cover ideas from Threadless, stay for “Lord Willin’”, the only time Jesus has ever been to Virginia Beach. [Smoking Section]
Video: Countdown To UFC 140 - I’d cover UFC more often, but I don’t want you guys to start leaving me GAWD IS THIS JUST AN MMA SITE NOW?? comments. [Cage Potato]
Lindsay Lohan Playboy Cover Leaks - Now all we need is for Jennifer Love Hewitt to wait until she’s 45 and pose pregnant or something to complete the biggest cock letdown in human history. [Buzzfeed]
The 10 Best Episodes of NBC’s Community - The top 3 are definitely right, but I would’ve moved paintball to third and found somewhere for Abed’s Uncontrollable Christmas. [Pajiba]
The best game ever. I hope you’re just a high-def remake of San Andreas, GTA 5.
Grand Theft Auto 5 Trailer Announced - AY CESAR, THE YAY LEAVIN’ SAN FIERRO, RIGHT. Right, but they’re using bikes, CJ, and they go cross country! [Gamma Squad]
The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 10/24 Live From Austin, Texas - I know I know, it’s the post below this one, but our new commenting system has severely limited the number of times an anonymous person can comment with “john cena gay”, so we need you to head down there and read it and talk to us about it. Us meaning me. [With Leather]
The Best And Worst Of WWE Vengeance 2011 - But wait! Before you do that, read Monday’s report about Sunday night’s show. The ring collapsed and Jerry Lawler said he’d never seen anything like it, except when it happened previously. [With Leather]
Bring ACH To Beyond Wrestling - If you live on the East Coast, love pro wrestling (or want it to be better than it is) and have a few extra bucks, donate to the cause of bringing one of the best young wrestlers in the world to where you can see him perform. ACH is the f**king bomb, and should be a TV millionaire already. [Indie Gogo]
This Week in Posters: Twilight, Muppets, and Diagonals Oh My! -Puss In Boots would be so much more appealing if it was called LE CHAT POTTE over here. That’s also what I call my drug-humor AOL parody. [Film Drunk]
The 1992 Dream Team In Action (Figures) - Pretty sure the most heterosexual thing about me is how much I love the 1992 Dream Team. [Smoking Section]
First Look At Scarlett Johansson As An Alien - I was really excited when I clicked this, but it turns out the “alien” is just “Scarlett Johansson not looking as good as she usually does because of bad clothes and a worse wig”. Good job with your alien movie, guys. [Gamma Squad]
More Halloween Episodes, Please - The genre peaked with ‘Roseanne’ and ‘Martin’, but I’m willing to accept new works in the medium. [Warming Glow]
Fully Functional Nikon Camera Halloween Costume - Pretty cool, and guaranteed to be talked about almost as much as the one hot girl who just wore underwear outdoors and didn’t even buy cat ears. [Buzzfeed
The 18 Worst Wide-Release Opening Weekends of 2011 - Most of these aren't a surprise, and if you supported Judy Moody or her Not Bummer Summer you're a bad person. The climax of that movie is someone eating a poop sandwich. [Moviefone]
Which of These Five Hollywood Subjects Sold Out the Hardest? - I always thought that if someone can refer to you as a “Hollywood subject”, you’re already sold out. [Pajiba]
87 Year-Old Man Arrested with 228 Pounds of Cocaine - Now let’s flash back to when he was a young man and find out how he got here! [The Daily What]
Censored Zelda Will Make You Laugh Against Your Will - The title is right. I hate fake censoring jokes, but even I laughed when Zelda called that guy a f**k. [Unreality]
The Gentlemen’s Rant: Hipsters - Someone put this site out of its misery. If you like Tim Allen on TV in 2011 style “everyone who isn’t fat and boring and middle-American like me is wrong” humor, you’ll love this. Attention “average guys tellin’ it like it is” — you are the least funny people in the world. [NextRound]