After Germany defeated Ghana 1-0 in yesterday’s World Cup action, a drunken German fan was arrested for assaulting a Dinslaken (Germany) police officer and causing severe head injuries to the public servant. His weapon of choice? That damned vuvuzela.

More than 10,000 people were watching the German team advance, and the scene was reportedly peaceful until this 20-year old arschloch began mocking a traffic cop, who was trying to keep the scene orderly. When the cop instructed the fan to keep moving, the man raised up his trusty vuvuzela and proceeded to beat the officer over the head, while kicking him repeatedly. Using your hands and feet? Some soccer fan he is.

Give this hooligan Das Boot, The Local:

The officer was rendered incapable for duty by “severe injuries” to his head, the statement added.

Meanwhile three “courageous” bystanders jumped in to help subdue the vuvuzela-wielding attacker, who put up so much resistance that police needed assistance to make the arrest.

This presumably marks the first time during this World Cup that the noisy South African instrument has been used as a weapon against another person, as it had previously just been used for inducing ear blood. Previously, a South African man was beaten to death by his family for changing the channel on their TV from gospel programming to World Cup footage, however they only used their boring hands to bash his head in. And a South African woman also suffered a serious throat injury from blowing her vuvuzela too hard.

More importantly, though, this marks the second vuvuzela-induced injury involving German people, as another German fan had his eardrum blown out last week when a random fan blew the instrument in his ear. Germans haven’t had this much trouble with one instrument since the horrible Huemmelchen incident of 1763. Simply tragic.

This is news from earlier in week, but haven’t caught wind of before now; turns out there’s a Bundesliga (German soccer) team that smoked so much pole in a recent loss that the ownership decided to actually refund the tickets of its 600 or so fans in attendance. From the BBC (yeah, yeah, yeah), via The Sports Economist:

Energie Cottbus supporters travelled some 610km (380 miles) to Gelsenkirchen on Friday only to see their team suffer the sixth loss in seven games.

The club made the offer in a web statement headed “Sorry, Energie Fans!”
Cottbus are second from bottom of the Bundesliga table and in danger of being relegated at the end of the season.

“By refunding the cost of admission for their supporters, the red and whites would like to apologise for the pitiful performance which they displayed at the Veltins Arena,” the statement read.

Don’t expect the charitable graces of Cottbus to rub off…well, anywhere, really. This might have been the only time it ever paid to be a soccer fan. Actually, if all they received were refunds, then I guess they made zero. I think. Where’s my abacus?