Saturday Night Live featured a New Balance commercial (starring Zach Galifianakis) that should totally play to the blogger crowd, because it’s about how nobody who wears New Balance running shoes actually runs, and how they’re the worst of the aging white guys. Man, you nerds … I wear NIKE shoes when I’m just standing around. (via Hulu)

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Links

The Unused Opening Title Credits For ‘Iron Man 3′ Are Incredible |UPROXX|

Ron Swanson’s 15 Most Enlightening GIFs From ‘Parks And Recreation’ Season 5 |Warming Glow|

Meet The Guy Who Built His Home To Look Like The Star Trek U.S.S. Enterprise |Film Drunk|

Reminder: Baseball Has Flopping, Too |With Leather|

The Bionic Dog With Four Prosthetic Legs Returns To Hit Us In All The Feels |Gamma Squad|

Brooklyn Finally Renames A Park In Adam “MCA” Yauch’s Honor |Smoking Section|

It’s Feeding Time At The Cutler House |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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In the tradition of Will Ferrell announcing that Carlos Boozer still lives with his mother, the Chicago Cubs brought in Ferrell and The Campaign co-star Zach Galifianakis into Wrigley this week to throw out the first pitch, read the game’s line-up cards and just generally f**k around on the field until they were told to leave.

Highlights include Ferrell having pizza delivered to the mound so he could have dinner with Ryan Dempster, and exchanges like this:

Galifianakis: “Batting sixth and playing catcher, in his spare time he’s an accountant at a styrofoam cooler company, No. 18 Giovanni Soto.”

Ferrell: “Batting seventh and playing second base, he likes to take long walks on the beach … completely naked, No. 15 Darwin Barney.”

We’ve got the important video clips below, including the one where Will stands up at the dinner table and yells at Steve Clevenger for forty minutes about how he drives a Dodge Stratus.

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"Won't you ladies join me?"

Now that we know that Kim Kardashian decided to divorce Kris Humphries because her dead father, being channeled by medium John Edwards, told her to, Humphries is readjusting to his role as a true playboy in this NBA lifestyle. So he invited Life & Style magazine into his new bachelor pad to show what life after Kim actually looks like, and it appears that the answer is: douchey.

I haven’t kept up on whether or not the trend of opposing fans booing Humphries mercilessly is still alive, but I really hope it is. It has nothing to do with the fact that he enabled the Kardashian clan and helped them allegedly haul in $17 million for their sham wedding anymore. It’s the fact that he’s a professional basketball player and he’s allowing Life & Style to take pictures of his bachelor pad. Come on, K-Hump. You should know better than this.

Meanwhile, not much has changed. The Chicago Bulls and Miami Heat are still the favorites in the East, and the Oklahoma City Thunder and basically the entire Northwest Division are running the West right now (except for Minnesota, which is still play rather Minnesota-esque). So until something noteworthy happens (like the New York Knicks sending Amar’e Stoudamire and Tyson Chandler to the Orlando Magic for Dwight Howard and Hedo Turkoglu, for instance) here we are once again with our Week in Pictures.

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Sports

Gina Carano’s Haywire Has New Photos - I wish I’d been around a couple of years ago to try and convince you “American Gladiators” was a sports thing. I can’t wait to see Gina Carano in movies, where there is a 100% better chance of me seeing her naked. Also, I think the best way to shoot an uzi flamethrower is to hold it as close to your face as possible. [Film Drunk]

Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird Cover NBA 2K12 - I approve of this marketing, and think we should erase the last 15 years of NBA history and have continuity pick back up sometime around when Chris Webber showed up. [Smoking Section]

CM Punk Crashes Comic-Con - There are a lot of Comic-Con-related links in today’s Morning, but none as wonderful to me as the WWE Champion showing up and making Bill Simmons feel like he’s got to explain ‘worked shoots’ to us again. Here’s a footnote: you don’t know anything about wrestling. [The Wrestling Blog]

Disgusting Video of the Day: Pat Barry Loses a Wisdom Tooth - He needs a pair of jam shorts that say ‘WARRIOR’ down the side so you know how tough he is for doing this. Also, he should compare himself to a warrior or some sort of Spartan every time he opens his mouth. [Cage Potato]

With Leather

Lockout This: 10 Awesome Sports That Could Replace the NBA - Assuming we don’t move forward with my Zero Hour plan for the NBA, these will be suitable replacements, especially “Octopush”, which is about as close to Blitzball as we’re going to get. Luca Goers for life. [With Leather]

The Dugout: How to Pick Up Soccer Girls on the Internet - I think my professional dream at this point is to have one f**king baseball player say “oh hey, I know about that comic you’ve been making for the last seven years”. I still think Farnsworth turned down an interview with us because we’re the only thing that shows up when you google Kyle Farnsworth. [With Leather]

Tennessee Cops Can’t Find Murder Suspect Because They’re Looking at Porn - Lorenzen Wright’s family might be making it up, but it’s hilarious/depressing to think cops have to let dead people rot because they spent too much time browsing for casual encounters on Craigslist. [With Leather]

Taiwanese Animation Covers Yao Ming - Worth it just to hear an Asian lady say “Charles Barkley”. [With Leather]

Not Sports

A Golden Treasury of Photos from the First Day of Comic-Con 2011 - I want to make it to one of these things one day. I’ve been to a Wizard World and a Motor City Con, but never the big real one. I want to camp out for two weeks and be briefly glared at by Kristen Stewart. :( [UPROXX]

The Best of #Justin Bieber Lulz - In case we aren’t all tired of making fun of this kid by now, here’s a ton of stuff making fun of him. I never hear him on the radio and only see him on TV when people are interviewing him about how popular he is, so I don’t know, I think he’s a figment of our imagination. Let’s direct some of this hatred toward somebody who deserves it, like will.i.am. [UPROXX]

Comic-Con: Beavis and Butthead - I’m so happy about this, and the only news that would’ve been better is ten more seasons of “King of the Hill”. [Collider]

Did you expect Zach Galifianakis to ride something other than a Vespa? - No. [FARK]

The Stanley Cup Finals are going to game 7. Of course, there’s not a LeBron to be found in the NHL, not even Aaron Rome (although retroactively Eric Lindros came pretty close), so it’s hard to get things like Twitter excited about it. One thing is for sure: win or lose, Tim Thomas deserves the Conn Smythe Trophy. For those of you who don’t follow hockey, each year the Conn Smythe is awarded to the league’s most handsome goaltender.

Sports

Bruins Force Game 7 - If you aren’t following this, you should be, because the Bruins didn’t just decide to give up circa game 4 or 5 and call it a season. Scroll down and read all the hockey coverage, until you can’t handle it anymore and all the jokes about basketball and the Heat start being fresh and funny again. [Yardbarker]

Who Wants to Watch Chris Bosh Cry While Heading into the Locker Room? - I do, I do! But it’s always sad to see such a kind-hearted forest creature cry. [BroBible]

We Are Allowed To Hate The Miami Heat - In case you missed it yesterday, check out Mayor Burnsy’s manifesto about why it’s okay to get all bent-out-of-shape-happy about what happened in the basketballs. My version of this would just be the words CLEVELAND in big letters. [With Leather]

That Ken Burns Crap - Jason Fry does Ken Burns, and baseball is still happening whether you like it or not. Sports blogs are always better when they include the phrase “in my younger years”. [Faith and Fear]

Not Sports

The Best of The Venture Bros. Cosplay - I remember going to the Detroit City Motor-Con (or whatever the hell it was called) a few years ago and having more people react to my Henchman 24 t-shirt club shirt than most of the costumes. This gallery will give you a great idea why. We’re gonna recreate parts of this gallery on CNN later as “The Best of Jackie O Cosplay”. [Gamma Squad]

Every Zach Galifianakis Clip From Tim & Eric - Hoo … bastank. One of my favorite memories was going to a Washington Nationals game and running into Zach freaking Galifianakis. For those of you who are all ONE TRICK PONY ONLY GOT ONE SCHTICK BLURGHH, watch these videos and laugh the weirder parts of your ass off. [Adult Swim]

Meme Watch: The Best Of Hipster Edits - Like any Austin Texas resident I sure do hate the word “hipster”, but these get funnier and funnier as they go. Hipsters don’t edit things, they put birds on things and call it art. [Uproxx]

Bad Medicine: The Most Incompetent TV Doctors - You know the state of TV doctors is bad when Dr. Nick Riviera comes in at number ten. Every TV doctor is bad, because they have to spend the first 40 minutes being wrong to be “right” at the end and create exciting television. Sort of like those Law and Order episodes where they build and build and build and then the person’s all OH BY THE WAY I DID IT AND AM GUILTY as they’re fading to the credits. [UGO]

edit: Also, I still can’t believe that character’s name was seriously “Christian Shephard”.