Like most U.S. Olympic athletes, swimmer Ryan Lochte has been on a whirlwind media tour since returning home from London, but the truth is that the nation’s love affair with the multiple gold medal-winner began long ago. Throughout the Olympics, interviews with Lochte popped up left and right, and the question on everyone’s mind was: “What’s next for this handsome, single stallion?” Of course we already know that the immediate answer is Dancing with the Stars and probably The Bachelor.

But Lochte also wants everyone to know that he’s so much deeper than just a reality TV tool. Sure, he’ll cut his teeth in Hollywood by doing the cha-cha with Kym Johnson and pretending like there’s a shot in hell he’d marry some broad off the street because she made out with him more than a dozen other nameless girls. Acting, though, is what is swimming in his blood, and he is hellbent on establishing a brilliant career on TV and the silver screen. First up? 90210. Start polishing those Emmys.

Need more proof? Buzzfeed recently put together some highlights of Lochte’s best interviews, and that man has a gift. And if a recent Tweet is any indication, it appears that Lochte might even be the next Channing Tatum. None of that matters to me, though. I learned all I need to know about him during his interview with Piers Morgan earlier this month. Lochte told Not Larry King that he can see himself acting opposite Blake Lively, and according to my oracles of truth and brilliance in the YouTube comments section, Ryan Reynolds better watch his back.

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With more than 11,000 views since being posted yesterday, “Whistle Girl (Every Day I’m Whistling)” is well on its way for being a contender for its own “This Week In YouTube Commenter Outrage” post, but it still has a ways to go with less than 20 comments. But hey, at least one of those comments is racist, and… I’m getting ahead of myself.

Focusing on the video at hand, “Whistle Girl” is the latest effort by Tunguska Yacht Club, which has previously entertained thousands of people with “Stanky Dick: Official Music Video” and the GoPro Commercial for Regular People. The video “stars” Jamaica’s Shelly-Ann Fraser-Pryce, who defended her 100m gold medal at the 2012 Summer Olympics, and today I also learned that her nickname is “Pocket Rocket”. That’s… nice.

I hate that I laughed at this, but sometimes the simple things are the best.

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From the start of the 2012 Summer Olympics, NBC was bludgeoned with criticism and vitriol from the Internet because of the network’s decision to air events on delay. The network’s executives fired back at the criticism by explaining that the American public is essentially too stupid to handle things as they air live, and sports business gurus like Darren Rovell also explained that it’s bad business for NBC to air events live when it needs good ratings in the primetime slots. And that’s fine. I get that. It’s all over now. Let’s just chillax.

Or not, says the YouTube community, as cries of outrage are still pouring in on the comment threads of videos that will eventually be deleted by NBC’s lawyers. One such video that is currently still available shows The Kinks frontman Ray Davies performing the band’s classic song, “Waterloo Sunset”. This performance was pulled from NBC’s closing ceremonies’ broadcast because the network wanted to take advantage of its massive ratings by introducing us to the new show Animal Practice.

Let’s just say that isn’t going over too well with my personal oracles of right and wrong, YouTube commenters.

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Despite the love affair with hating NBC for its delayed coverage and contempt for its stupid viewers, the 2012 Summer Olympics have had some amazing moments. Obviously, Gabby Douglas, Michael Phelps, Oscar Pistorious, Missy Franklin, and many others have had remarkable performances, and of course there were the pooping divers and Retta’s awesome Twitter analysis. But generating some serious buzz over the weekend was a commercial for Ragu that has absolutely nothing to do with the Summer Games, other than it aired during NBC’s coverage.

In the commercial, a young boy has a book or something that he wants to share with his parents, so he just barges into their bedroom and catches them having sex. So does he fall into a black hole of trauma and psychotic outrage that will scar him for the rest of his life? No way, Jose. His parents make it up to him with a big, heaping plate of Ragu spaghetti. I’ve been told that pasta sauce is just as effective as heroin in hiding decades of mental anguish.

Ultimately, the commercial (after the jump) is quite funny, the kind of outlandish spot you’d expect during the Super Bowl. So this begs the important question – what do the oracles of YouTube commenting have to say about it? Is it great? The greatest? Better than Nike’s “Find Your Greatness”? Or is it the worst thing that has ever been aired on TV? Let’s explore.

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Presumably running from the hatred of the Internet.

I’d be hard-pressed to argue with anyone who claims that Nike consistently produces the best TV commercials. In an era of Shannen Doherty pitching online educations and sh*t-grinned cock rockers singing about credit report scams, it’s hard for any company with unlimited wealth to not hire the best minds in advertising and put together entertaining ads. But thanks to those Education Connection atrocities and Certain Dri’s random sweaty girls, almost every Nike ad comes across as Citizen Kane.

The latest Swoosh campaign is called “Find Your Greatness” and the commercial that has everyone buzzing features a 12-year old boy named Nathan, who lives in London, Ohio. Nathan is an overweight American kid, but Nike wants you to know – thanks to a beautiful narrative by Tom Hardy – that he’s seeking his own greatness. Basically, he’s strapped on his Nikes and is hitting the road to shed those pounds and be better than everyone else.

People mostly LOVE this commercial. As a once fat 12-year old, I think it’s awesome, too. Granted, most Nike ads make me laugh because they come across like that scene in What Women Want, but if they inspire people, then bless ‘em. Unfortunately, they inspired people to do a little more than just go out and run. Some of YouTube’s finest commenters have been giving their fingers one hell of a workout, too.

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As a male blogger, I’m no stranger to objectification. Not a day goes by that I’m not harassed by some random girl trying to goad me into sexually explicit conversations or asking me to view her webcam while calling me “sweety” or “honey”. It’s degrading to say the least, and so I can totally relate and offer my support to my bros like Ryan Lochte, while millions of women ignore his incredible swimming talent in favor of his looks. Same boat, broseph. Same boat.

But I was also unaware that people apparently objectify female athletes in this same way. While this is news to me, I checked with some other Internet gentlemen and they, in fact, assured me that sexism and misogyny are alive and well in women’s sports. This shocked me, to say the least, because I couldn’t help but wonder if my beloved Alex Morgan and Daniela Hantuchova (above) have been the victims of this objectification as well.

The people at talkSPORT Magazine recently made a video that honors the “Sexy female Olympic athletes at London 2012” and it turns out that some people are offended. And I’m not talking about regular people like you or me. I’m talking about true intellectuals – YouTube commenters. After the jump, you can watch the video for yourself and then get schooled by YouTube’s brightest and most reasonable.

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