Take a wild guess.

In case you weren’t aware, ESPN loves Jeremy Lin. The New York Knicks point guard was mentioned something like once a minute on SportsCenter every day last week. So of course if someone at the Worldwide Leader f*cks up a story or report about Lin, that person will pay the price. For instance, Anthony Federico wrote a questionable headline regarding Lin and the Knicks losing last week and it cost him his job.

Of course, that headline was just a teeny-weeny itsy-bitsy offensive:

But dammit, you guys, Federico said he didn’t mean it. He’s really sorry about this and he totally didn’t mean “Chink” to be taken as an innuendo, even though it’s one of the most common and laziest forms of racism in the world. How sorry is he? He wrote a letter, man.

I wrote the headline in reference to the tone of the column and not to Jeremy Lin’s race. It was a lapse in judgment and not a racist pun. It was an awful editorial omission and it cost me my job.

I owe an apology to Jeremy Lin and all people offended. I am truly sorry.

Actions speak louder than words. My words may have hurt people in that moment but my actions have always helped people. If those who vilify me would take a deeper look at my life they would see that I am the exact opposite of how some are portraying me.

They would see that on the day of the incident I got a call from a friend – who happens to be homeless – and rushed to his aid. He was collapsed on the side of the road due to exposure and hunger. They would see how I picked him up and got him a hotel room and fed him. They would see I used my vacation time last year to volunteer in the orphanages of Haiti. They would see how I ‘adopted’ an elderly Alzheimer’s patient and visited him every week for a year. They would see that every winter I organize a coat drive for those less fortunate in New Haven. They would see how I raised $10,000 for a friend in need when his kids were born four months premature. They would see how I have worked in soup kitchens and convalescent homes since I was a kid. They would see my actions speak louder than my words. They would see that these acts were not done for my glory, but for God’s. They would see that each day I live and will continue to live a life of joy and service.

It never has been or will be my intention to hurt anyone.

I wrote thousands and thousands and thousands of headlines in my five years at ESPN. There never was a problem with any of them and I was consistently praised as an employee – both personally and professionally. Two weeks prior to the incident I had my first column published on espnW.com. My career was taking off. Why would I throw that all away with a racist pun? This was an honest mistake.

It is also crucial that people know that the writer of the column had nothing to do with the headline. I wrote it and now I take responsibility for it.

I am actually a Knicks fan and an ardent supporter of Jeremy Lin. Not surprisingly, he has handled the entire situation with grace and class.

Now I have to find a new job and move on with my life.

My solace in this is that ‘all things work together for good for those who love the Lord.’ I praise God equally in the good times and the bad times.

-Anthony Federico

Maybe I’m just super skeptical and blind to an honest person’s cry for understanding. Hell, maybe I just didn’t spend enough time trying to be an actual sports writer. But I just can’t sit here and read that letter without my right arm going into a reactionary dismissive wank.

Dude. Anthony, listen to me. DUDE. Jeremy Lin is Chinese-American. You used the word “CHINK” in the headline of a story about him. You worked for E-F*CKING-SPN. How on God’s green Earth did you not even stop for one second, giggle and say, “Whoops, that could be horribly misconstrued”?

I hope that you find a new job and you move past this, because God knows the majority of us barely even know your name, but don’t expect us to feel bad for you. I don’t mean to rub salt in the wound or sound like a dick, but you’re a moron. At least you’re a humble moron, though.

I guess losing 37-10 to the New York Jets doesn’t sit well with anybody.

The Kansas City Chiefs fired coach Todd Haley on Monday, effective immediately.

The team did not name an interim coach in their statement announcing the move, however a league source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter that the Chiefs have told members of their organization that defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel will replace Haley on an interim basis.

Haley’s run in Kansas City wasn’t all monstrously embarrassing losses … he went 19-27 in his three seasons with the Chiefs, and he took the team to an AFC West division title in 2010, even if they bailed in the playoffs. Statements from the Chiefs have been largely positive, full of “Todd helped” and “this was a difficult decision”, but it’s pretty hard for me to feel sorrow or sympathy for any football coach for doing anything, because their job is more or less to stand there screaming and murmur quietly through post-game press. The press releases always find their way to “but this is what’s best for the team” in a few words. I want to see a coach keep his job through performances like this because the CEO thinks going 5-8 is what’s best for the team.

For more on the firing, I turn to the Twitter of the only Chiefs fan I know in real life, Jon Bois:

Reports: the candidates for the Chiefs’ coaching job narrowed down to an ape who has fallen into a well and the bell he won’t stop ringing. Chiefs also considering hiring a recently-divorced shirtless man who totally just ate a children’s cartoon-themed cereal with water

"And the Today Show is like 4 hours long, but by the end they're just hammered."

After an 8-8 season in 2010, Jacksonville Jaguars owner Wayne Weaver told the team’s coach, Jack Del Rio, that he would either lead the team to the playoffs in 2011 or he’d be canned. And after the Jaguars failed to defeat Matt Leinart and T.J. Yates on Sunday, Del Rio has indeed been douched. Del Rio was 68-71 with the Jags, and I think I speak for NFL fans everywhere when I say, “What the hell took so long?”

Actually, that’s easy to answer. Weaver gave Del Rio a ridiculous 5-year extension back in 2007 and he was too cheap to buy him out and admit a mistake when the ship immediately sank in 2008. So of course it came to the surprise of no one when it was finally announced, especially not Del Rio’s players, who will gladly admit that they suck.

“We kind of buried ourselves this year and for him to take the fall for that, all of us probably feel bad for that,” Jaguars tight end Zach Miller said. “I know me personally to see him go, it sucks. there’s no other way to put it. I like Jack, he’s been good to me. Great guy. And he’s a good coach. It’s an unfortunate situation for him.”

(Via Florida Times-Union)

Del Rio seems like one of those guys that you are just so indifferent about that you don’t like him or hate him, but if you’ve watched the Jags at all over the past 5 years, you should know that he never had a chance. An 11-5 finish in 2007 made it seem like good things were coming, but beyond Maurice Jones-Drew, this team never had an offense that was going to win anything.

But this is probably good news for Del Rio, too, because he won’t be unemployed for too long. He’ll get another shot to prove he’s a good coach that was bogged down by a terrible team, just like John Fox did in Denver. And Del Rio might not even have to move too far, as there will probably be two jobs opening in Florida soon. You know, if he’s cool with that whole terrible team thing again.

SUPER BIG NEWS UPDATE: Weaver has sold the Jaguars, apparently, to Shadid Kahn… KAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN! Word is written agreements will keep the Jags in Jacksonville. Yeah, because written agreements can’t be changed.

We know, dude. Trust us, we know.

Sometimes I think that young people in the Third World look at America and they think, “Why can’t I have that?” And then on days like this, I assume they’re thinking, “What a bunch of pricks.” Last night was probably one of those times, as thousands of students and fans of Penn State University rioted through the streets of University Park, some in support of iconic football coach Joe Paterno, and others in support of the university’s sudden decision to fire JoePa after 45 years.

The Board of Trustees announced at a 10 p.m. press conference that Paterno’s employment would be terminated immediately, as opposed to yesterday’s reports that he would be allowed to resign at the end of the season. The termination comes, of course, after Paterno’s former defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky was revealed to have allegedly sexually abused young boys in Penn State athletic facilities. Paterno was admonished by investigators as having done everything necessary when accusations were first made in 2002; however, that has done nothing to quell the moral outrage.

As I stated yesterday, I will make no humor of or judgment toward this affair, but it’s worth pointing out how ludicrous the behavior was of those causing property damage to small businesses and the university last night. And of course it even reached the Occupy Wall Street people, because they really seem like the sporting bunch to me.

UPDATE: Now with more pictures of students tipping over a news van and with their faces clear as day so that people might identify them and put them in a jail cell of their own. As well as a few others of people generally supporting Paterno.

INCREDIBLY OBNOXIOUS UPDATE: Penn State rioters planked. Unreal.

(Images via Buzzfeed, the AP, Getty and Reuters.)

By the way, if you ever have a chance, ask a police officer what it’s like to suddenly be thrown into riot control duty when they’re outnumbered hundreds or thousands to one.

And this picture probably says the most of any.

I included this photo and the next because it’s rare that you get to see the faces of the people voluntarily cleaning up such an absurd and needless mess, but a hat tip to Ryan Smith, Brennan Pankiw and Jared Hook, who were identified by Getty as the guys walking around with shopping carts and trash bags gathering glass and debris from the windows of the damaged stores and buildings.

Be proud of yourselves today, fellas. Because I would like to imagine that when you needlessly destroy the property of a TV news station and your faces are captured by camera in the process of destruction, that station just might use every resource to find you and have you punished to the fullest extent of the law. Have fun explaining to every company that passes on hiring you why you were arrested. I pray you’re journalism students.

Too bad they didn’t push that van over.

The University of North Carolina is hosting a press conference this morning at which chancellor Holden Thorp and athletic director Dick Baddour will officially announce that Butch Davis is no longer the coach of the Tar Heels football program. This is the part where people are supposed to gasp loudly and drop their monocles on the ground, because Davis ran such a clean and respectable program in his four years at UNC.

So what then, aside from those silly NCAA punishments and investigations, caused these men to make such a hasty and shocking decision?

“To restore confidence in the University of North Carolina and our football program, it’s time to make a change,” said Thorp. “What started as a purely athletic issue has begun to chip away at this University’s reputation. I have been deliberate in my approach to understanding this situation fully, and I have worked to be fair to everyone involved. However, I have lost confidence in our ability to come through this without harming the way people think of this institution. Our academic integrity is paramount and we must work diligently to protect it. The only way to move forward and put this behind us is to make a change.” (Via NBC)

I don’t want to sully the image that Thorp apparently believes that we have of UNC any further, but I’m pretty sure that short of using orphans as tackling dummies, we can’t think much less of UNC football. And I’m not saying that as in we have a poor opinion, it’s just that we have no opinion. Seriously, who actually cares about UNC football?

Instead of giving the same lame speeches about how the reputation of UNC has been sullied, Thorp and Baddour should just save us all some time and hire Mike Leach, so we can all praise/chastise them for a ballsy/wrong hire, and then go back to not caring about the Heels when they finish in the middle of the Coastal Division once again. Why mess with tradition?

After every news outlet on the planet reported that John “Jeff” Stone had been fired from Webb Chevrolet in Oak Lawn, Illinois on Monday because he wore a Green Bay Packers tie to work, it was only a matter of time before a rival car dealership offered him a job. Chevrolet of Homewood (Chicago) received heavy call volume from Packers fans claiming they would purchase cars from that dealership if they would hire Stone, so owner Guy Cesario jumped right on it. And of course Stone said… eh, maybe.

This isn’t going to get milked for all its worth, is it AOL Jobs?

Stone is not jumping into anything yet, however. He says he’s taking his time to make his next professional move, and wants to meet with Cesario in person first. It might be a good thing to wait, as he could need a little extra vacation time. Rumor has it there’s an all-expenses paid trip to Dallas and prime Super Bowl tickets in his future — in the Packers section, of course.

OF COURSE! Haha, it’s funny how things work out.

It’s worth mentioning that SportsCenter picked this story up yesterday and told an amended version about why Stone chose to wear that specific Packers tie to work. Originally, he told the media that he had been a fan of the Packers since Brett Favre and Ahman Green were running the offense, and that was it. From the Chicago Sun-Times:

“I liked the way he [Green] played, and I liked Brett Favre before he left, and I love Aaron Rodgers, the coaching staff — the whole organization,” he said.

“I was just showing my love for my team and it was a nice, smart tie that matched my clothes — none of the customers minded: they had a sense of humor about it.”

ESPN, however, reported that Stone wore the tie to honor his late grandmother, which must have simply slipped his mind the first time around.

John Stone was fired from his job at Webb Chevrolet in Oak Lawn, Illinois yesterday after he showed up to work wearing a Green Bay Packers tie. The 34-year old claims he’s been a fan of the Packers since the days of Ahman Green, and he didn’t see anything wrong with honoring his team only a day after Green Bay defeated the Chicago Bears 21-14 in the NFC Championship. But his boss sure did, and he canned his ass for it.

Stone’s boss Jerry Roberts claims that he gave him 5 opportunities to remove the tie and keep his job, but Stone refused each time. It’s a shame to see such a long professional relationship come to an abrupt end like this. How long was Stone at Webb anyway? A month and a half. Geez, now this news is just shocking.

Please let me keep my mesh tank top, Chicago Sun-Times…

“He said, ‘You have two options,’ ” a furious Stone said later Monday. “Remove the tie, or you’re fired.”

“When I didn’t, he said, ‘You can leave, you’re fired.’ Does that sound fair to you?”

Stone added: “I was just showing my love for my team and it was a nice, smart tie that matched my clothes — none of the customers minded: they had a sense of humor about it.”

In response, Roberts explained: “We spend $20,000 a month on advertising with the Bears on WBBM during the season, and we have Bears players including Corey Wootton driving loaner vehicles, and here was a salesman openly undoing that work.”

You see, dude? Corey Wootton drives those cars that you get paid to sell. If we don’t have Corey driving around our cars for free, then none of our kids will eat. But seriously, this guy lives in Illinois and works at a car dealership that has a heavy interest in the Bears’ success, how could he not see this coming?

As the Chicago White Sox have joined their North Side counterparts, the Chicago Cubs, in being eliminated from the playoffs, media speculation has once again turned to Mouth of the South Side, Ozzie Guillen, and his future with the White Sox. Guillen and Sox GM Kenny Williams famously hate each other, so the rumor mill is heating up over the decision that owner Jerry Reinsdorf will eventually have to make, between Guillen and Williams. And the man he doesn’t choose… DIES! MUAHAHAHAHA *coughs, hacks up lung butter*

Reinsdorf has yet to make any inclination of personnel changes, but the local media seems to believe that Guillen is as good as gone, despite recently winning a World Series and all that stupid stuff. Guillen is under contract through 2011 and has a team option for 2012, however he has hinted that if the White Sox part ways with him, he’ll be more than happy to take the Cubs manager job. The man just wants to be loved, damnit. Is that so much to ask?

Hey Ozzie, won’t you babble a bunch of nonsense at us and make us feel dumber in the process?

“If (Chairman Jerry Reinsdorf) doesn’t want me, yes,” Guillen said Saturday night before the Sox beat the Angels 6-2 for John Danks’ career-high 14th victory. “My position was I would never sign another place and leave the White Sox for the Cubs because of the respect for Jerry. But if Jerry is leaving me? I’m not leaving them, they are leaving me. Then, I have a choice to make. Everything is out there.

“As soon as you get divorced, you are free to do whatever you want. Yes, I will, not because I say I’m going there, but because they don’t want me. Before I say it, I’m not going to leave this place just to punch you guys in the nose. But if you don’t want me and someone else wants me, I have to make the decision.” (Via Chicago Tribune)

I had to use my Ozzie to English translator to really understand this and the result was: *yawwwwwwwwwwwn*. Meanwhile, speculation continues to grow that New York Yankees skipper Joe Girardi is secretly wanting to fill the vacancy with the Cubs. And while it makes all the sense in the world that a World Series champion manager would leave the pocketbooks of the Yankees in his REAHVIEW to walk into the black hole of coaching the Cubs, it just doesn’t seem very likely. I dunno, call me crazy.

“We have removed Turk Schonert and relieved him of his responsibilities as offensive coordinator,” [Buffalo Bills] head coach Dick Jauron told a news conference.

“It’s nothing we had planned on and was nothing enjoyable in any way, shape or form.”

The Buffalo first team had failed to score an offensive touchdown in five pre-season games. via.

We hadn’t planned on firing arguably the second-most important member of our coaching staff 10 days before the season starts. Good to know. The thing is that now that firing coaches has become so trendy, there’ll be a rush of preseason firings as we head into the NFL opener on Thursday night. Oh, I can’t wait to see who gets fired before the deadline [**crosses fingers hoping Dallas OC Jason Garrett gets canned**]. Ah, football is back.