Miguel Angel Jimenez Is Back, And More Stretched Out Than Ever

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.17.13

Miguel Angel Jimenez

Back in July of 2011, we posted a video of Spanish golfer Miguel Angel Jimenez’s borderline erotic, hypnotically fascinating warm-up routine. It wasn’t a viral smash (nobody “did the Miguel Angel Jimenez” for a week or anything) but it was a wonderful piece of film to watch. Guy is basically touching his junk to the ground in a squat, playing a sport and smoking a cigar at the same time. Just wonderful.

Now, thanks to some forward-thinking gent at Golf Monthly, comes a head-on look at The Miguel Angel Jimenez, explained from the mouth of the man himself. He does his golf yoga, his “little dancing move” and practically jams a golf club up his ass, and yes, he starts off the clip with a cigar in his hand. If there are three things Miguel Angel Jimenez loves, it’s (1) golf (2) smoking (3) EXTREME LIMBERNESS.

Video is after the jump, if you dare.

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Paul Bissonnette’s Yoga Teacher Seems Nice

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.02.13

For the first time in who’s even counting anymore, the NHL and NHLPA met to discuss a new collective bargaining agreement, and they were so serious about it that they met two whole times. And today they’re actually going to meet for a third time, so you know that they might be really serious about finding a happy medium on revenue sharing and pensions, and ending this ridiculous lockout once and for all. But since I don’t really know a lot about all the legal whatchamacallits and thingamajigs, let’s talk about Paul Bissonnette and his yoga instructor instead.

One of the biggest things that has been pissing me off about this whole stupid lockout was that I was supposed to be able to interview the 27-year enforcer, who has become quite the entertaining and controversial personality on Twitter, at the beginning of the season. Obviously, that didn’t happen (yet), but I would have probably asked him a starter question like, “So hockey, that’s pretty cool, right?” and before he could even answer I would scream, “WHO IS THAT WOMAN?”

We’d be best bros after that.

UPDATE: I’m late to the party, but she’s Amy Lynn Grover. She offers a yoga for athletes program, as well as great healthy recipes. That’s why I’m viewing her website.

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No Way He Did This Without Tearing Every Muscle In His Body

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.25.12

Yep, that’s Frank Thomas shooting the puck at a Chicago Blackhawks game and not immediately collapsing in agony. Retirement must be going well for him. Maybe he got a pair of robot legs installed. (via Rant Sports)

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Links

1990 Topps Frank Thomas Error Rookie Card5 Albums Coming Out This Week That Don’t Suck |UPROXX|

Side Effects: Mariah Carey’s Top 20 Hip-Hop Collabos |Smoking Section|

The Definitive List of the 20 Worst TV Theme Songs of All Time |Warming Glow|

Feminist Cthulhu Will Always Remember To Call You, Girl. |Gamma Squad|

Your Mid-Week Guide To DVD And Streaming: Mark Wahlberg Undercover, Jake Busey vs. Underground Nazis |Film Drunk|

Watch A 60-inch Vertical Box Jump Through The Lens Of A Camera Phone From 1995 |With Leather|

Pizza Hut Unveils Latest Culinary Abomination: Cheeseburger Crust Pizza |UPROXX|

Sharks And Recreation: Adding Sharks To ‘Parks And Rec’ For No Reason Whatsoever |UPROXX|

Wayne Brady’s “5 Fingers Of Death” Freestyle May Be Better Than Most MCs |Smoking Section|

Charlie Kaufman is adapting a young-adult novel |Film Drunk|

The Best Of The 2012 Drake University Beautiful Bulldog Contest |With Leather|

5 Of the Most Awesome Train Wrecks Hitting Theaters This Summer |Gamma Squad|

Bubble Watch: Which Of Your Favorite Shows Will Be Sh–canned? |Warming Glow|

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Christina Hendricks And Olivia Munn Nude, But More Importantly Here’s Cat Gymnastics

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.05.12

Don’t scroll down. DON’T SCROLL DOWN. [via OTB]

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Links

christina-hendricks-nude-leaked-cellphoneChristina Hendricks And Olivia Munn Had Their Cellphones Hacked - … and while the faceless nude shots are pretty obviously not them, it’s fun to dream. AND it’s fun to find out Olivia Munn photoshops her cellphone pics with hokey sex taunts. [ONTD]

7 Ways Peyton Manning Should Spend His Last Weekend In Indianapolis - Number 8: nailing the hottest woman in Indianapolis, who I’m gonna guess is that one hostess at the Applebee’s. [Smoking Section]

6 Dumb Things Movies Do to Make Their Special Effects Less Effective - I guess I’m an old film softie, because “things being pretty” and “the camera moving” have never bothered me. Rubbery-ass Spider-Man, on the other hand … [Gamma Squad]

AMC Accidentally Reveals Major ‘Walking Dead’ Spoiler On Their Website - “Nothing’s going to happen this week” credit: AMC.com [Warming Glow]

Friday Free For All: Weird Al stars in ‘Weird Owl’ - I can’t wait until his first movie, Hoo-HF. [Film Drunk]

The Very Best Of GIFBomb Lady - This is pretty inspired, especially “What David Robinson thinks I do”. Are you still looking at that Christina Hendricks pic? [UPROXX]

Pulp Fiction Finally Gets Medieval On Our A$$es, Shakespeare Style - Pulp Fiction meets Downton Abbey in Downton Fiction! Sorry, that doesn’t exist, but it might tomrorow! [UPROXX]

20 Pampered Dogs In Baby Carriages - First comes dog love, then comes dog marriage. Then comes … well, this. [Buzzfeed]

Simpsons Christmas Cards From The Future - I wish we could go back and progressively age the Simpsons characters season by season so they wouldn’t have to turn into the thing we have now. [HuffPost Comedy]

David Hasselhoff takes the “Germans love me”-thing a bit too far - If Norm MacDonald isn’t involved, he hasn’t taken it far enough. [FARK]

Yoga for Babies is the Creepiest Exercise Video We’ve Ever Seen - YOGA IS NOT FOR BABIES. Bikram Yoga might be, though. [The FW]

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The Best And Most Ridiculous Of The 2011 Guinness World Records Day

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.18.11

For the seventh year in a row, people all over the world gathered to perform ridiculous tasks and insane stunts for the sake of getting their names in the Guinness Book of World Records. Sadly, this is just a reminder to me that another year has come and gone without me setting the world record for making out with the most super models named Kate Upton at the same time, but if someone would hold up her part of the record, I wouldn’t have to keep moping.

Among the incredibly not ridiculous records broken this year included the most people whistling at one time, the world’s largest Zumba class, the planet’s biggest coloring book, and the most people to ever partake in a speed-dating event. That last one happened in China, so I assume that like 10,000,000 babies are due about 9 months from now. But those records were just the tips of the dork icebergs.

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Candice Swanepoel Is The Best At Working Out

Written by Brandon Stroud / 08.25.11

Candice-Swanepoel-vsx

There’s a fine line between underwear and gym clothes. Sometimes women go to the gym with a sports bra as a top, and sometimes they use yoga pants as pajamas. It is in that spirit of line-blurring that I present to you Victoria’s Secret’s VSX Sexy Sport line of workout gear, and, more specifically, their ad campaign: making models (angels, whatever) Candice Swanepoel and Erin Heatherton wear these things and filming them. Good call, Victoria’s Secret.

You can check out the video after the jump.

In case you’re still reading and haven’t jumped yet (what’s wrong with you), the video is that wonderful kind of pointless where Candice Swimmingpool is soaking wet from exhaustion despite her workout being “lie down on the ground and occasionally stand still”. At one point she stretches a little, and at another she dances in place. I don’t know if this counts as exercise at all, but I’m pretty sure she isn’t real and is just S1m0ne. I wish they’d bring in Kate Upton for stuff like this, but I don’t think Victoria’s Secret employs women who get a period.

Go, go, watch the video.

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