Shaquille O’Neal is going to have the best retirement. He’s completing a Filmmaking Conservatory at the New York Film Academy (at Universal Studios), he’s going to end up professionally wrestling somebody at somebody’s Wrestlemania and he’s filming Tim And Eric-style comedy vignettes about wanting to marry Betty White. In the video above, Shaq hangs with the legendary lady of comedy by making Jim Halpert face at the camera while she tries to act and be funny. That’s what’s so great about Shaq, he’s got rap albums and video games and movies and television shows and none of them are any GOOD, but he’s got the all, and he’s going to keep making more. Look at that face.

Maybe this is is the video they were talking about when TMZ said Shaq had a sex tape and was being blackmailed. It doesn’t go any farther than this, you understand, because Rose’s husband Charlie died while they were making love and she’s been having trouble showing intimacy in the bedroom ever since. When the sex tape ends it’s followed by two episodes of “Shop ’till You Drop”

The logistics of Shaq marrying and assumedly consummating said marriage are the stuff of Snickers nightmares, but should they ever get together I would like to provide my best Golden Girls-themed advice, courtesy of the late, great Dorothy Zbornak.

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The only way to react to this video of a guy pulling an Andre Agassi on the ping pong court is to shout “oyy!” The shot comes to us courtesy of Hot Clicks by way of The Score, and there is literally zero context provided, so I don’t know if these happened in real life or was a Powerade commercial or what.

All I can pick up using my Batman-like deductive reasoning skills is that one of the guys is a person (see, down in the bottom left) and the game was featured on AFTONBLADET, which either means “afternoon leaf” or “this comes on after Blade 2.” Good old Aftonbladet, with their catchy slogan, “Sveriges nyhetskälla och mötesplats.”

Pro-tip: You can recreate this amazing shot in a game of Pong by turning your back to the screen, then hurling the Atari controller over your shoulder.

It has been a busy day on the tips line, and this gem came to us that way via Travis, who, like many of us, enjoy seeing visual evidence of skateboarders being unable to reproduce. Sure, skateboarding may not be a crime, but it’s murder on the groin. You might want to grab a snack before you settle into this collection of clips, because it checks in at a delightful five minutes and 48 seconds. I’ve already watched this video twice and I’m pretty sure that it made me sterile. Whatever. I hate wearing condoms anyway.

Hit the next page for the video, and don’t try any of these at home, unless you happen to be a total douchebag.

* – probably not all from 2010.

This is “Ode To Donovan McNabb” is a bit dry, even for me, the sauvignon blanc of sports bloggers (yes, I Googled that). But it’s solid, and it’s the kind of quarterback quackery that I’ve been looking for all week, but only about that other guy.

I love the fact that you’ve led us to the playoffs seven times in your career…only to come up short…all seven.”

Like I said, it’s a bit artsy, and the narrator doesn’t seem like the same brand of Philly crazy, and it tails off at the end. I could go on. Personally, I’m torn on McNabb; he’s an above-average quarterback in an above-average system. I guess I don’t see the big deal about ripping on a guy that’s just Matt Schaub with a better tan. –The 700 Level.

This doesn’t really count as parkour as much as it’s two pubescents daring each other to jump onto a dumpster, and I’m really not sure what’s gone wrong with the second attempt. Although you’d think the kid would have just taken the hint to stay in the trash. Where he belongs OH MAN THAT’S SUCH A BURN! I GOT YOU GOOD, KID! Eh, it’s that kind of day. Oh, wait, I think I see something shiny…

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Here’s a video of world records either being set or broken; it’s a pretty impressive vid, considering it’s almost six minutes long. I’d love to see the older guy with the revolver in the first clip square off against the younger skinhead-looking dude in the last clip. That would be a terrific gunfight to watch at live speed, and then again in slow motion. Is there anything NOT more enjoyable to watch in slow motion? (via)