Alfonso Soriano enters the third year of his mighty 136 million dollar deal this season, so it’s understandable that he’d have a bit of coin to throw away on something frivolous. But this, a Cubs Blue Hummer with…a lot of speakers in it. I never understood the point of a car stereo system for making other people listen to your music. But being a jagoff millionaire athlete means never having to say you’re sorry. But consider that, even with depreciation, this investment panned out better than anything he would have had in the stock market at this point. Although when you consider what he spent at the pump, it’s probably a wash.

|Big League Stew, via Home Run Derby|

This Mercedes belongs to Arsenal’s William Gallas, who’s kind of a prick. But when you drive around in an entire car made of chrome, I’m sure everyone else seems beneath you. Shiny stuff rules.

Gallas, 31, was the centre of attention, despite not playing in Saturday’s victory over Rovers, in his shiny motor, believed to have cost him about £350,000. [about $490k US...]

The Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren is rated as the world’s fastest convertible, with a top speed of 207mph.

The irony is that Gallas was driving the car to a charity event. Or maybe that’s quasi-Alanis Morrisette irony, which really isn’t irony at all. If I need a knife and I have 10,000 spoons, that sounds more like the forces of probability in play. I can’t believe Dave Coulier hit that. Who would have thought Alanis would be such a sucker for the Popeye voice.

/Daily Mail, via Maj from KSK/

Don’t even try and tell me the Qashqai Car Games isn’t real. It is. Look: they have a slick website and everything, OK? Totally legit. And amazing. But oh, let me guess. You don’t believe in David Blaine either? You make me fucking sick. -J.E. Skeets III