Here’s Cleveland Browns kick returner Joshua Cribbs signing the “Witnessmobile,” that white four-doored petition driving around northeast Ohio collecting signatures asking for LeBron James to not LeGetTheHellOuttaTown. I can see LeBron now, sitting in a press conference leaning over that New York Knicks contract, and then right before the pen hits the paper, the Witnessmobile and its signatures come crashing through the wall like the Kool-Aid Man. LeBron sees the car and, instead of signing his way out of his home state, jumps into the shotgun seat and rides off into the sunset. That guy’s gonna look like an ass when James heads for Chicago. –via Black Sports Online.

When guys in pajamas get into SUVs and start driving on sand dunes, that’s a recipe for magic. And the good people in this video after the jump did not disappoint. We have a little crash-bang-boom, and then one SUV rolls about 100 yards down the dune, not only jettisoning its occupants but also crushing them in spectacular fashion. I’m sure all of those people ran up to him and instead of offering him medical care, just started screaming, “Dude, that was awesome!” Look at all of those guys wearing white coats! You’d think one of them would be a doctor. Read the rest of this entry »

This is a VW Passat that has been modied (obviously) for Snowpocalypse conditions. I like the part where he drove all over the snow like it was no big deal. The poster of the video has some other clips of this mighty mod on his YouTube account, along with this Google-translated Finnish-language comment:

put the tractor pre kummid below!

Couldn’t agree more. If they did this with a Toyota, they could rule all of Helsinki. Video after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

Kids, this is the 2010 Lotus Stealth, as unveiled earlier this year at the Tokyo Motor Show. It can go from zero to Kiss My Grits in four seconds. Lotus is only making 35 of these, none of which will be available in North America. The most striking feature obviously is the matte-black paint job, which supposedly gives the car a soft, baby’s-ass sort of feel. And it only weighs a hair under 2,000 pounds. I’m sure it has a lot of horses under the hood and all that, but I wouldn’t care if it didn’t. I want this car. Not because I crave the feel of something powerful whenever I drive, but because I look like a total dumbass wearing my Batman mask when I drive around in my Hyundai.
–Celebutopia, GarageCar, Automobile Mag, Paul Tan.

This is, according to the fellas at Waiting For Next Year, Cleveland-area recording artist A. Gully. And he’s sitting on top of his “new” 1987 Cutlass with…well, you can see the pictures. It’s basically the greatest polished turd you’ve ever seen. Actually, if he’s from Parma Heights, it could also be the greatest Polish Turd you’ve ever seen. See what I did there? No, it’s not as clever as checkered tint. But then, what is?

Read the rest of this entry »

Lexus came out with a concept car that inspires a lot of sci-fi comparisons, but the greatest thing might be that if you’re wearing nice pants and you’re driving through town, people can see that you’re not only driving the prototype Lexus LF-A, but that you’re also wearing nice pants. Of course, keeping dead hookers in the trunk is now out. Give and take, man. Give. And take. From GT Channel:

Developed in collaboration with Japanese architect Huzimoto Takeshi, Lexus has referred to this project as an exploration of “L-Finesse” design language, and has tastefully named the art piece Crystallized Wind.

Yeah, so apparently it’s just acrylic art and not drivable, so imagining a drive through the villas in this thing would be on par with getting a hand job from the Venus de Milo. But probably not as chafing.