The best game ever. I hope you’re just a high-def remake of San Andreas, GTA 5.

Links

Grand Theft Auto 5 Trailer Announced - AY CESAR, THE YAY LEAVIN’ SAN FIERRO, RIGHT. Right, but they’re using bikes, CJ, and they go cross country! [Gamma Squad]

The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 10/24 Live From Austin, Texas - I know I know, it’s the post below this one, but our new commenting system has severely limited the number of times an anonymous person can comment with “john cena gay”, so we need you to head down there and read it and talk to us about it. Us meaning me. [With Leather]

The Best And Worst Of WWE Vengeance 2011 - But wait! Before you do that, read Monday’s report about Sunday night’s show. The ring collapsed and Jerry Lawler said he’d never seen anything like it, except when it happened previously. [With Leather]

Bring ACH To Beyond Wrestling - If you live on the East Coast, love pro wrestling (or want it to be better than it is) and have a few extra bucks, donate to the cause of bringing one of the best young wrestlers in the world to where you can see him perform. ACH is the f**king bomb, and should be a TV millionaire already. [Indie Gogo]

This Week in Posters: Twilight, Muppets, and Diagonals Oh My! - Puss In Boots would be so much more appealing if it was called LE CHAT POTTE over here. That’s also what I call my drug-humor AOL parody. [Film Drunk]

The 1992 Dream Team In Action (Figures) - Pretty sure the most heterosexual thing about me is how much I love the 1992 Dream Team. [Smoking Section]

First Look At Scarlett Johansson As An Alien - I was really excited when I clicked this, but it turns out the “alien” is just “Scarlett Johansson not looking as good as she usually does because of bad clothes and a worse wig”. Good job with your alien movie, guys. [Gamma Squad]

More Halloween Episodes, Please - The genre peaked with ‘Roseanne’ and ‘Martin’, but I’m willing to accept new works in the medium. [Warming Glow]

Fully Functional Nikon Camera Halloween Costume - Pretty cool, and guaranteed to be talked about almost as much as the one hot girl who just wore underwear outdoors and didn’t even buy cat ears. [Buzzfeed

The 18 Worst Wide-Release Opening Weekends of 2011 - Most of these aren't a surprise, and if you supported Judy Moody or her Not Bummer Summer you're a bad person. The climax of that movie is someone eating a poop sandwich. [Moviefone]

Which of These Five Hollywood Subjects Sold Out the Hardest? - I always thought that if someone can refer to you as a “Hollywood subject”, you’re already sold out. [Pajiba]

87 Year-Old Man Arrested with 228 Pounds of Cocaine - Now let’s flash back to when he was a young man and find out how he got here! [The Daily What]

Censored Zelda Will Make You Laugh Against Your Will - The title is right. I hate fake censoring jokes, but even I laughed when Zelda called that guy a f**k. [Unreality]

The Gentlemen’s Rant: Hipsters - Someone put this site out of its misery. If you like Tim Allen on TV in 2011 style “everyone who isn’t fat and boring and middle-American like me is wrong” humor, you’ll love this. Attention “average guys tellin’ it like it is” — you are the least funny people in the world. [NextRound]

It’s like somebody photoshopped out Brock Lesnar. Pre-report notes:

- We’ve got a fresh new commenting system, so if you read and/or flip through the report to read the boldface, make sure to leave us a comment to let us know what you liked or didn’t like about Vengeance, and which shoehorned-in Dragonball Z references in the report you thought were the least unfunny.

- Speaking of comments, With Leather offered a $250 Amazon gift card to the person who could accurately predict Vengeance. Thanks in part to that image up top, nobody could. We still want to give away money, though, so I’m opening it up to you, the participants. Do we award the prize to a random commenter, organize a Raw contest or push the giveaway to Survivor Series and see if anybody takes it home?

- Full disclosure: I didn’t watch this show live. I spent my Sunday night at Mohawk on Red River in downtown Austin watching Anarchy Championship Wrestling’s Beyond Good & Evil, a show that included Rachel Summerlyn dressed as Buffy The Vampire Slayer, ACH and Matt Palmer almost chickenfighting on the ledge of a building, Davey Vega taking one of the sickest German suplexes I’ve ever seen to the bottom turnbuckle and Robert Evans (who looks a heck of a lot like CHIKARA’s Archibald Peck) sitting quietly in the crowd in a Halloween costume for five hours to do a run-in at the end. I’m watching Vengeance this morning and writing about it as I go, so if the Cena/Alberto Del Rio match write-up turns into “heh, so here’s ten paragraphs about ChrisTrew.biz” I apologize.

- This is the third pay-per-view in six weeks. Just wanted to remind you.

Please click through to enjoy the Best And Worst Of WWE Vengeance.

Read the rest of this entry »

On Sunday night, WWE presents their third pay-per-view event in 35 days, Vengeance. The show is headlined by a Last Man Standing Match between WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio and John Cena, as well as a match between World Heavyweight Champion wig-splitter Mark Henry and the returning Big Show. It will also feature the last drop of milk being drawn from the damaged, quivering teet of wrestling fans, so we thought we’d make it fun.

In celebration of the UPROXX™ Network’s brand new commenting system, With Leather is introducing the first (and possibly only) WWE Pay-Per-View Predictions Challenge. All you have to do is register with the site and post your predictions for who will win each match and how (pinfall, submission, disqualification, count-out, that sort of thing) in the comments section of This Very Post. If you get them all correct, you’ll win a $250 gift card from Amazon.com that you can use to buy … whatever you want, really. Wrestling DVDs. 10 copies of That’s What I Am. Anything. Just remember to get them in before the show on Sunday night or it won’t count.

Here’s the announced card.

1. World Heavyweight Championship Match: Mark Henry © vs. The Big Show

2. Last Man Standing Match for the WWE Championship: Alberto Del Rio © vs. John Cena

3. Tag Team Match: Triple H and CM Punk vs. R-Truth and The Miz

4. Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes

5. Divas Championship Match: Beth Phoenix © vs. Eve Torres

6. Sheamus vs. Christian

7. United States Championship Match: Dolph Ziggler © vs. Zack Ryder *or* WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Air Boom © vs. Dolph Ziggler and Jack Swagger

That’s going by some announcements that’re supposed to go down on Smackdown tonight, although they announced Air Boom vs. Ziggler and Jack Swagger on Monday, so we’re just gonna have to play that one by ear. If you want to make your predictions early, just go ahead and include predics for them both. If more than one person correctly picks the results and finishes, we’ll pool the winners and use Raw as a tie-breaker. Just remember, the pay-per-view happens THIS SUNDAY NIGHT, so anything posted after 7 PM EST tomorrow will be disqualified.

So yeah, sign up for an account with UPROXX and make your choices. This is open to anybody who signs up, so tell your friends and neighbors to come on over and participate. Share it on whatever dirt sheet forums you frequent, pitch it to the Wrestlecrap guy, tweet it to Bill Simmons, whatever. Let’s make it an event! And then have two more events immediately afterwards!

Pre-report notes, which really need a catchy name. Protes?

- In case you missed last week’s announcement, the UPROXX™ network has a brand new social system for comments, so register and leave a comment let us know what you thought of the show and report.

- Speaking of leaving comments, on Friday we’re having a WWE Vengeance predictions party where you’ve got a chance to win a $250 prize by doing so, so register now, get in the swing of how commenting works and check back nonstop for the rest of your life.

- Picture of The Chickbusters in Mexico loosely related. Neither of them show up on Raw (or Smackdown), but at least Kaitlyn makes an appearance to wrestle on NXT. She faces Maxine, and hopefully makes fun of Maxine’s fish lips despite also having big lips. Yes, if you click that picture, it gets bigger.

- Raw is coming to Austin, Texas, next week for the post-Vengeance Raw, so I’m not sure yet if I’m doing Best and Worst for the live experience or the TV version. What do you think?

Please click through to enjoy The Best And Worst Of WWE’s Mexico City Raw. Yeah, it’s a little racist.

Read the rest of this entry »