Every week I write the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column, but I barely ever talk about Smackdown. If you’d like me to recap every Smackdown between 2004 and early 2012, I can do it in four words: TEDDY LONG TAG TEAM MATCH.

Former Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long (aka WCW’s Theodore R. Long, aka “Peanuthead”) ran a wrestling show for almost 8 years with only one programming idea:

1. Wait until 2-6 wrestlers were arguing in the ring.
2. Interrupt those wrestlers with a rap song about Teddy Long.
3. Announce that if those wrestlers had an issue, they could resolve it in a TAG TEAM MATCH*!

*With Teddy you can’t just type “tag team match,” because that’s not how he says it. He says TAG TEAM MATCH.

Teddy is no longer GM, but now, thanks to YouTube user mekabizh1, you can relive the glory days with this nearly 7-minute long compilation of Teddy showing up, doing the most predictable thing a guy in charge of a wrestling show can do, and bailing. As an added bonus, I’ve included some of my favorite TAG TEAM MATCH memes and videos after the jump. So check this out and enjoy it, but don’t get confrontational with anybody about it, because … well …

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Just kidding, the Bushwackers are the best tag team ever.

Just when you think only the classiest news comes out of Florida and Ohio, West Virginia goes and does something to blow all of our minds. Last Friday, Andrew Young and James Miller of Charleston, West Virginia were preparing for a local live wrestling event by practicing some of their favorite moves, like the power bomb and choke slam. Unfortunately, they weren’t exactly practicing those moves on each other, like normal adult men would do. Nah, they practiced them on a 2-year old girl instead.

South Charleston police say the men were practicing their moves on a toddler and caused severe bruising and a fractured leg. (Via WSAZ)

You might think that a person would be upset and concerned if he just wounded and possibly crippled a 2-year old girl, but no. Young and Miller were upset, but for other reasons.

“He wasn’t very happy,” South Charleston Police Detective A.R. Gordon says. “I guess he was looking forward to this wrestling event that was going to be here tonight. That’s probably not going to happen at this point.”

Don’t worry, it gets worse.

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