Morning Links: Do You Realize Pujols?

Written by Brandon Stroud / 06.21.11

Albert Pujols injury

Sports

Albert Pujols Injured, Out 4-6 Weeks - Still injured. See how important this news is? Even the rap music and urban culture section of Uproxx is covering it. Nothing more urban than mid-June NL Central baseball, I guess! P.S., Albert will be out 4-6 weeks due to an injury. [Smoking Section]

The Best and Worst of WWE Capitol Punishment - I’m going to struggle through a Best and Worst of Made Up On the Spot Raw today, but while I’m struggling, go back and read about Capitol Punishment. Something sorta happened, kinda! [With Leather]

Why Soccer Sucks - I am a burgeoning soccer fan, so I’m presenting this article as the last ten years of talking points I’m trying to get over. I’m over most of them. “Mascots and cool shirts called ‘kits’” was enough to get me over most of them. [Sports Biotch]

Emo Tiki Speaks Out - Thank goodness the Brady Bunch never came across an Emo Tiki. Instead of wiping out, Greg would’ve just sat on his surfboard and cried about Jennifer Nichols. Yeah, I should give up sports and just write a Brady Bunch blog. [KSK]

Not Sports

Katrina Bowden is Such a Nerd - This isn’t as funny as it wants to be (because “hot girl is a nerd” isn’t really a compelling thing when you’ve grown up) but I’m posting it because I absolutely agree with fake her about Studio Ghibli. Only Yesterday is so much better than Spirited Away, even if the protagonist doesn’t rub off any river gods. [Gamma Squad]

25 of the Worst Celebrity Tweets of All Time - I must be simple, because Goldie Hawn’s tweet on this list made me laugh out loud. I still haven’t gotten comfortable mentioning every aspect of my life on Twitter (follow me @MrBrandonStroud, nudge nudge), especially not how much I want to eat Subway. [Uproxx]

First Ever Picture of Tom Cruise Acting Flamboyant - I remember thinking Tom Cruise was the coolest guy when I was younger. Of course, I don’t specifically remember thinking that, I just watched a sh*tload of Top Gun. Here he is being the opposite of Top Gun! [Film Drunk]

G4 Pulls Ryan Dunn’s Reality Show - Rest in peace, guy who drunk drove his Porsche into some trees. I miss G4 being about video games, even if the only things I ever watched were “Starcade” and Morgan Webb’s parts of X-Play. [Warming Glow]

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The Best and Worst of WWE Capitol Punishment

Written by Brandon Stroud / 06.20.11

WWE Capitol Punishment results

Hi, everybody, and welcome to The Best and Worst of WWF Capital Carnage, the UK-only pay-per-view from 1998. The show’s poster depicts The Undertaker wearing a Kane t-shirt and D-Generation X burning down the Palace of Westminster, so you know it’s got to be good! They always save the cool stuff for England, right? Right?

Best: Tiger Ali Singh defeated Edge

…proving that wins and losses in professional wrestling mean absolutely f**king nothing! Unless you’re Chicky Starr or Victor The Bodyguard, losing to Tiger Ali Singh should automatically disqualify you from professional wrestling forever.

Worst: The Headbangers pinning The Legion of Doom in three minutes

Eesh. Okay, they mean something sometimes.

You know what? This show has a Triple H versus Jeff Jarrett match on it near the end, and if I’m going to review that I should just do the Best and Worst of Chugging Drāno. Let’s just cover WWE Capitol Punishment instead.

[pics (mostly) courtesy of MGFanJay @ DVDR]

Read the rest of this entry »

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