Arizona State wrestler Anthony Robles might always be known as “that one wrestler with one leg.” But as of this past weekend, he’ll have an additional moniker: Champ. Robles, who was born without a right leg, took down the 125-pound title at the NCAA’s national wrestling championships.

Robles won state high-school championships, then a national one. Ignored by many big wrestling colleges, he had gone to nearby Arizona State, where he’d become an All-American and win three Pac-10 titles…The stories of Robles’s training took on a mythical quality—charging up hills with his Sun Devils teammates, bench-pressing 305 pounds, a 125-pound wrestler with upper-body power sculpted by a lifetime on crutches. ESPN swooned.

–WSJ.

ESPN actually aired Robles’s title match live, beating last year’s 125-pound champ, Matt McDonough of Iowa, by a 7-1 score. That’s pretty cool. I want to buy him one of those wrestling belts with the spinning WWE logo now. Hey, it’s the least I could do with two functioning legs.

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages, let me introduce to you 8-year old Stevo Paulin, a pint-sized bat out of h-e-double-bendy-straws who is making a name for himself in the increasingly popular child wrestling circuit. As of this week, Stevo has compiled an overall record of 256-26, which is insane. I can only imagine he hired Nick Patrick to follow him to daycare centers where he just pins random kids for the 3-count to maintain his toddlerweight title.

As for his name, I’m curious to know how it’s pronounced, because it could be Stevo like Steh-vo, which is cool. But from the adult with purple Mohawk in the video after the jump, I’m guessing that when this kid was born, the doctor asked the father what the child’s name would be and he yelled, “STEVE-O, YOU PUSSY MOTHER F*CKER!” And then he chugged a Mountain Dew Code Red and gave the doctor a DDT. In summation, this kid is going to grow up to be a dick.

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There are sometimes videos that have to be posted regardless of the content, and this is totally one of them. It showed up online about a month ago, but only has 23,000 views, so I deem it appropriate to share with all of you lovely readers. I didn’t know about it until now, and I know everything about the Internet. Want Slovakian footjob sessions set in the lovely part of the spring on video? I saw that sh-t six months ago.

I don’t care how you feel about professional wrestling and whether or not you think it’s a real sport (side note: at what stage is “professional” wrestling not professional anymore but just amateur?), because you are going to watch this video, and you will like it. I’m going to take the approach of finding every person who reads this post but doesn’t watch the video (known as the Domino’s Pizza approach) and make you watch it.

If I was honestly determined enough, I would write a 10-page paper on everything that unfolds in this video and find ways to make every single thing in it a metaphor. That’s what literary analysis classes are for! The fat guy taking off his pants represents America’s corporations.

I would give you context for the fight and who were the wrestlers involved, but you truly won’t care and it’s better watched with absolutely no knowledge of what happened before. It’s totally not laziness, at all.

Video after the jump.
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The WWE’s Chris Jericho was attacked by a mob of fans as he left the arena on Saturday night. The problem was, they didn’t seem to be fans of Chris Jericho. After a standoff in which the crowd became increasingly pushy and offensive, Jericho punched a woman, shoved one of the ineffective security guards, and shared his knowledge of the F-word.  WWE released the following statement to TMZ:

“After leaving a live event in Victoria, British Columbia on Saturday evening, Chris Jericho’s car was attacked by a mob when he was stopped at a stop sign. Unable to proceed, Chris Jericho exited his car to ask the crowd to clear a path so he could continue through the intersection. A man and a woman physically and verbally assaulted Mr. Jericho. Arena and WWE security arrived to establish enough order to allow Mr. Jericho to re-enter his vehicle and depart. The local police arrived minutes later. Mr. Jericho was unharmed in the incident. The WWE is working with local authorities who are investigating the incident to identify the man and woman who fled the scene.”

Hmmm… seems the WWE conveniently left out the part where Jericho, you know, punched a girl.  Don’t get me wrong, she was cruisin’ for a bruisin’.  I totally support celebrities and athletes punching anyone who deserves it.  Or even people that don’t.  I mean, famous people are better than us and above the law for a reason.  Try to show some deference.

“I’ve got two balloons of black tar inside this little guy”

All aboard the express train to Awesometown, because Mickey Rourke is going to wrestle at Wrestlemania XXV in Houston on April 2nd.

“The boys from the WWE called me and asked me to do it,” Rourke told Access Hollywood. “I said, ‘I want to.’ I’m talking with [WWE legend] Rowdy Roddy Piper about it.” [...]

And when he does jump into the ring with WWE, it appears the actor may already have his sights set on an opponent. “Chris Jericho, you better get in shape,” Rourke added. “Because I’m coming after your a**.”

It remains unclear whether he’ll be wrestling in character as Randy “The Ram” Robinson from his acclaimed performance in the title role of “The Wrestler,” or whether he’ll be in character as Mickey Rourke, Guy Who Pets Chihuahuas on the Red Carpet.  Please let it be chihuahuas please let it be chihuahuas please let it be chihuahuas…