I’ve prepared separate intro blurbs, depending on who you are. Find the one that is most appropriate for you!

I Don’t Watch Glee: I know, I know. Welcome to this week’s Sports On TV, featuring the first show I’ve ever watched specifically for the benefit of the column, FOX’s ‘Glee’. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a show your niece probably watched two or three years ago about a glee club at a Lima, Ohio, high school who interpret their feelings via reality-warping musical numbers. If you’ve never seen it and know what it is, yeah, it’s not great. However, if you’re a regular reader of the column, you’ll hopefully have a little faith in my writing/ability to write aggressively about stuff that sucks, so take a look through this one anyway. You’ll find a lot of funny jokes, a few pictures of hot girls and at least one video of zombie football players. That’s something, right?

I Watch Glee, And I Love It: Welcome to this week’s Sports On TV column, wherein I rag on that show you like because it’s not aimed at my intelligence level or demographic. Please read through the moments I’ve selected, tear apart any inaccuracies in my analysis, and show it to all of your friends so they can do the same. Make it really virally popular so nobody who likes ‘Glee’ will ever come here again!

I Watch Glee (Or Have Watched Glee) And Do Not Like It: You’re probably going to love this.

So please click through and enjoy the 20 greatest sports moments of ‘Glee’. *unnecessary bell ringing sound*

Read the rest of this entry »

The most appropriate picture ever.

When not wrestling for TNA, Hulk Hogan spends his days pulling a Jose Canseco and shamelessly retweeting fans who think he should be in The Expendables 3, because he is apparently such an awesome actor. And Hogan is simply so devoted to the craft that he even recently shot his own black and white independent film about a woman with absolutely no pride. That film, of course, is the much-talked-about Hulk Hogan sex tape released by Gawker last week.

According to E! News, Hogan plans to sue whoever is responsible for sending the video to the online tabloid, and it is being reported that the unknown female Hulkamaniac had no clue she was being filmed. However, because sex tapes are the easiest ways for women to become famous and washed up “celebrities” to get back in the spotlight, TMZ reminds us that a very lazily named porn website is offering Hogan quite the payday for his approval of the film’s release.

Read the rest of this entry »

The Three Stooges were a comedy act that lasted from 1925 until 1970 (!), and yeah, while the majority of their act was showcased in theatrical shorts, their lasting cultural relevancy comes from a television revival, so we’re counting them as “TV”.

Your opinion of The Three Stooges may vary, but your Dad loves them. They’ve come in and out of social consciousness in so many ways it’s hard to describe. They’ve been in movies, they’ve been in cartoons, they’ve been re-imagined for modern audiences by the people behind There’s Something About Mary and been an influence to countless comedians, even the ones who won’t admit it. They were never the most highbrow thing in the world, but they did something right. They also featured a lot of sports in their features, and because I already dated the hell out of myself with the 20 Greatest Sports Moments Of The Brady Bunch, I might as well trick the blogging audience into thinking I’m 100 years old.

If you like this week’s Sports On TV column, be sure to drop us a comment (especially if we forgot something important), click the “like” button to share it with strangers on the Internet, and maybe send it over to your Dad. He’ll think it’s funny.

Read the rest of this entry »

During this year’s Summer Olympics, NBC’s best play-by-play analyst was Retta, who plays Donna on ‘Parks And Recreation’. Her tweets about chocolate tumblers and the Olympics trying to break a bitch were amazing, and as sports bloggers it’s our duty to shine the spotlight on every legitimately hilarious person who touches sports.

Not only is Retta’s show one of the best on television right now, it’s also one of the most sports friendly. That makes it a perfect fit for Sports On TV, our column dedicated to the best sports moments of shows about something other than sports. This is the first still-on-the-air show we’ve attempted to cover, so if you’re reading this a year from now and are all, “HEY, WHERE’S THE EPISODE WHERE MCKAYLA MARONEY SHOWS UP AND ANDY WINS THE LONG JUMP” or whatever, give us a break, we aren’t time travelers.

With greatest possible love to Retta, Michael Shur, Greg Daniels and the rest of the talented people making my favorite 30 minutes of any given week, here are our 20 favorite sports moments from ‘Parks And Recreation’. I don’t know what this is, but I want you to read all of it.

Read the rest of this entry »

Just kidding, the Bushwackers are the best tag team ever.

Just when you think only the classiest news comes out of Florida and Ohio, West Virginia goes and does something to blow all of our minds. Last Friday, Andrew Young and James Miller of Charleston, West Virginia were preparing for a local live wrestling event by practicing some of their favorite moves, like the power bomb and choke slam. Unfortunately, they weren’t exactly practicing those moves on each other, like normal adult men would do. Nah, they practiced them on a 2-year old girl instead.

South Charleston police say the men were practicing their moves on a toddler and caused severe bruising and a fractured leg. (Via WSAZ)

You might think that a person would be upset and concerned if he just wounded and possibly crippled a 2-year old girl, but no. Young and Miller were upset, but for other reasons.

“He wasn’t very happy,” South Charleston Police Detective A.R. Gordon says. “I guess he was looking forward to this wrestling event that was going to be here tonight. That’s probably not going to happen at this point.”

Don’t worry, it gets worse.

Read the rest of this entry »

Previous ‘Sports On TV’ columns (for ‘Saved By The Bell’ and ‘Full House’) have been fun to write but a pain to suffer through for research, because seriously, have you tried watching an 8th season episode of ‘Full House’ in 2012? Those columns sorta celebrate the badness of sports on TV, and how they get shoehorned in when people run out of love triangles and job jokes don’t have anything to write about.

So it’s with great pride that I present the third ‘Sports On TV’ effort, celebrating the 25 best sports moments from one of the best and most under-appreciated animated comedies ever made, FOX’s ‘King Of The Hill’. If you haven’t seen it before or just flip past it when you’re looking for ‘Squidbillies’ episodes on Adult Swim, the show’s entire 13-season run is available on Netflix streaming and is one of the best ways to spend 130-ish hours. What made the sports on ‘King Of The Hill’ great is that they aren’t accessories to the action … they’re focal points, important or not, just like in real life.

I’m lucky to have some great guest columnists this week, so I hope you enjoy the list. And yeah, there are at least 40 other moments we could’ve included here, so consider this part 1 of an eventual 50 Greatest Sports Moments Of ‘King Of The Hill’. We’ll loop back around when I realize Golden Girls didn’t have 20 sports moments on it.

Read the rest of this entry »