Two weeks ago, we undid our sarcasm belts, took off our satire pants and let our honest feelings hang out as we honored and celebrated the life of Pusuke, the World’s Oldest Dog up until December 13. But when Pusuke moved on to his afterlife of sniffing butt on a farm up north, his title went up for grabs. Little did we know that a living legend was going to take it.

At the tender age of 24.5, Pip the Acrobatic Dog is now the World’s Oldest Dog, and he’s already seen more than any of us will ever see in our pathetic human lives.

Pip, a 24-and-a-half-year-old terrier/whippet cross, remarkably still performs in the Essex Dog Display Team.

‘It is wonderful to know that Pip is the oldest dog in the world and it is great to have the accolade,’ said owner Tiffany Dyer, 36, of Brentwood, Essex.

(Via Metro UK)

Alas, Pip and Tiffany may be dog poop out of luck. In order for the Guinness Book of World Records to award Pip – who has performed in front of the Queen, mind you – the title of oldest dog, he needs a birth certificate. Tiffany doesn’t have that, which, as Donald Trump has taught us, makes Pip ineligible.

Only a Hannukah miracle can help us now.

*takes off glasses, wipes single tear from cheek*

It is with a very heavy heart that I report that yesterday, at the age of 26 years and 8 months, Pusuke the Shiba Inu passed away at his home in Japan. Early reports indicate that Pusuke died from natural causes – adorable, furry natural causes. Last December, Pusuke became not only a legend in his own country, but also the world, when he was named the World’s Oldest Dog by the Guinness Book of World Records.

Pusuke is the ninth oldest dog in recorded history, as the oldest dog ever was a 29-year old Australian cattle dog named Bluey. But Pusuke almost didn’t even make it to accept his title last year, as he had been hit by a car and nearly killed only weeks before. You can take Pusuke’s balls, but you can’t take his balls.

As for his final moments…

Pusuke refused to eat and also had difficulty breathing, before peacefully passing away in the afternoon. Ms. Shinohara arrived home just five minutes before Pusuke died, after she was out running errands.

Shinohara, 42, said: “I think (Pusuke) waited for me to come home.

“I was with Pusuke for 26 years and I felt as if he was my child. I thank him for living so long with me.”

(Via Digital Journal)

The great Jack Donaghy once said, “For God’s sake, if we can put an ear on a mouse’s back, we can certainly make a peacock immortal.” I like to think that goes for dogs, too.