After a few weeks of writing about shows me and three other people in the world like (Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, Boy Meets World, et al.), we decided to dedicate a Sports On TV column to a show the entire UPROXX network loves — ‘It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia,’ FX’s delightfully cruel comedy that has its own page of recaps and commenter badges on the UPROXX mothership.

The show’s use of Philadelphia is at least as comprehensive as ‘The Wire’s’ use of Baltimore, and all of the important Philly area teams and icons have made an appearance on the show … the Eagles, the Flyers, the Phillies, the Phillie Phanatic. ‘It’s Always Sunny’ also launched the worldwide popularity of GREEN MAN, who you may know as “that a-hole in the morphsuit at any sporting event.” It’s an important thing they’re doing, so we’re here to talk about it.

Things we have to apologize for in advance: crude language, situations meant for mature audiences and getting the “Flipadelphia” song stuck in your head again.

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In recent years, lucky animals have played a huge part in Major League Baseball teams’ World Series runs, from the Anaheim Angels of Anaheim Los Angeles Angels’ Rally Monkey to the St. Louis Cardinals’ classier and more intelligent Rally Squirrel. This year, the World Champion San Francisco Giants had a much less heralded but equally important furry good luck charm in a rare orange langur monkey that was born at the San Francisco Zoo during the Giants’ playoff run.

Dubbed the “Lucky Langur” after its birth and the team’s subsequent wins, the zoo’s monkey people (you’d think they’d have an official title) decided that it was finally time to name this adorable little living pumpkin.

It’s official: That adorable newborn monkey whose birth coincided with the Giants World Series winning streak has been named, and we think you will be pleased.

San Francisco, meet Romo. (Via San Francisco Weekly)

I’m told that right after they chose Romo, the monkey threw its poop and it was intercepted and returned for a touchdown. OHHHHH, they meant Sergio Romo, the beloved Giants closer, whose strange beard and quirky behavior filled in perfectly for the injured Brian Wilson, whose strange beard and quirky behavior had its own strong presence in the Giants’ dugout.

Alas, there’s one little problem with this monkey’s new name – this Romo is a girl. Again, the Tony Romo jokes write themselves.

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The story of a lead actor living in a world of bit players, from the YouTube description:

I shot some rioting go down on Muni on McAllister and Larkin (San Francisco, Ca) after the San Francisco Giants won the 2012 MLB World Series. I started filming toward the end, about ten minutes before the cops showed up. There were a few buses stalled there because the streets were overflowing with people. When rioting began on Muni, this particular gentleman on the back of the bus was having none of it. He sat there stonefaced amidst all the chaos, presumably texting to his friends about his miserable experience commuting on Muni yet again. Everyone outside noticed his lack of celebratory and destructive spirit, so they started taking pictures and video of him until the lights went out.

This guy.

Maybe I’m not the type to turn into the apes from 2001: A Space Odyssey and start smashing boar skulls with a bone because my favorite sports team won a game, but I’m on The Dude Who Wouldn’t Riot’s side. He’s the one guy on screen with a head on his shoulders. I am pretty interested to know what he’s doing with his time (I don’t buy the “texting his friends about his miserable experience” line), so I consulted the comments section and compiled my ten favorite theories. Those are below.

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Yesterday, we shared an appearance from Los Angeles Clippers alley-oopist Blake Griffin on Conan, wherein he made a bunch of weird faces and created Conan O’Brien to be his teammate in NBA 2K13. In a better world I’d be sharing Conan clips every day, and Metta World Peace would accept his fate and become the Masturbating Bear.

Anyway, today’s Conan clips feature World Series champion and insectoid athlete overlord Hunter Pence discussing what happens when your bat shatters and hits a ball three times and/or the value of using a Katy Perry song as your walk-up music. He also reveals that when he doesn’t know what’s happening and people tell him to run, he does so by flapping his arms around and yelling “woooo”. HE IS ALSO A BUNCH OF INSECTS IN A MAN SUIT.

Both clips are after the jump.

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Today’s headline brought to you by this lady. In all seriousness, congratulations to the San Francisco Giants and all the Giants fans I know. Let’s hope next year’s World Series contains at least one team with a racist name from a city where nothing ever happens.

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Links

The Best Fan-Made Halloween Costumes From 12 Of TV’s Finest Shows |Warming Glow|

A Collection Of The Worst Band Shirts You’ll Ever Have The Misfortune Of Seeing |UPROXX|

Arnold Schwarzenegger Looks Badass In ‘Ten’ |Film Drunk|

The Air Sex Championships Returned To Austin And Oh God, They Let Me Judge Again |With Leather|

Hold Me I’m Scared: The Best 80s Horror Movie VHS Covers |Gamma Squad|

…And Then They Asked Alicia Keys To Pick Jay-Z Or Nas. |Smoking Section|

THE BEN WEAR STRIPES. THE BEN THROW TO STRIPE MAN |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Well, bad news, fellow baseball fans. The ratings for this year’s World Series are in the toilet right now. It’s probably because a certain team that I won’t mention anymore isn’t in it, and we all know whose fault that is. But we can’t change that now, and we just have to hope that more people want to tune in tomorrow night, because, you know, it’s America’s national pastime.

Wait, what? Notre Dame plays Oklahoma tomorrow night? Suck it, baseball. We’ve got a heavy schedule of awesome college football tomorrow.

World Series Game 3: San Francisco Giants at Detroit Tigers – 8:07 PM ET on Fox Saturday

When people inevitably talk about the defining moment of this World Series, most people are going to fondly remember Pablo Sandoval’s three home runs in Game 1, but I’m going to remember this series for Tim McCarver reaching his latest low point. With the crowd feeling Barry Zito’s strong performance in Game 1, a “Barry! Barry! Barry!” chant broke out, and Joe Buck pointed out that the fans in San Fran used to chant that for another Barry. McCarver thought he meant Barry Manilow. Please, Fox. End this.

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