Yo girl, your titty.

If you’re worried that the special lady in your life has been packing on a few extra pounds this holiday season, you’re in luck. Kim Kardashian wants to help women look more like her and starting after Christmas, they’ll be able to when they watch her new workout DVD, Ultimate Butt Body Sculpt.

Basically, as that title implies, Kardashian’s ass is the “Ultimate Butt” and it is the derriere that all women should aspire to have. So all they have to do is follow Kim’s quick and easy workout routine that involves two tiny dumbbells and the ability to step up and down, and VOILA! They’’ll have an ass like two honey baked hams.

A DVD as genius as this should have been given to us years ago. So what the hell took so long?

The DVD, which was made in conjunction with Kardashian-endorsed weight-loss supplement Quick Trim in 2009, will be released in the UK on December 26.

The decision to promote the video comes after Kris, whom Kim filed for divorce from on October 31, made derogatory comments about the star’s shape.

(Via the Daily Mail)

Ah yes, that whole thing with Kris Humphries calling Kim fat. How convenient. But that Quick Trim bit, that’s pretty interesting. You see, Quick Trim is just another BS “lose weight fast” product that doesn’t actually do anything for people and really only ends up making them fatter.

Honestly, I’m just surprised that Kim hasn’t teamed up with the transgender doctor in Miami Gardens and endorsed women injecting cement into their asses. I’m sure that’s on the burner for Valentine’s Day, though.

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I have never watched an episode of the Jersey Shore, but I’m fully aware of the terrible legacy that MTV has established by introducing the world to people like Snooki, J-Woww, the Situation, Vinny, Pauly D, and those other people. And that makes me sad, because I wish I’d never heard of them. Sometimes I really admire the Amish and backwoods hillbillies for not owning TVs, but without one I wouldn’t have been able to drool over the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show last night. Such a double-edged sword.

I also try not to keep up with tabloid gossip, but in this biznass it’s nearly impossible, so I’m well aware that when this calendar year wraps up, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino will have made $5 million while having no discernible talents. The guy gets paid to show up to places and point at his stomach, for which I’m not knocking him. Good for him. I wish I could get paid to show up places and hip thrust. Instead, I get banned from Baby GAP. But as much as we bash the Guido culture, it’s given us a great deal of material to work with, J-Woww’s huge breasts, and Vince at FilmDrunk.

The Situation recently released his own workout DVD for the holiday season, called “The Situation Workout.” As I’m naturally ripped I have no need for such a silly product, but for those of you looking to be the best at exercising, you can pick up a copy at Amazon or in hell. In the meantime, the blooper reel from his DVD has recently turned up, and not only does it showcase his glaring lack of charisma, but he also has a special friend pop up. He gets a boner, is what I’m trying to say.

Follow along after the jump for a look at the bloopers and some other fine moments in the Sitch’s exercise portfolio…

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