In news that makes me feel considerably better about Dale Earnhardt Jr., Dale Earnhardt Jr. announced Wednesday morning that he would not have sexual relations with a woman (or, by proxy, a man) with Dale Earnhardt Jr.-themed tattoos. Apparently, this is a thing. The racing star was a guest of the Dan Patrick Show yesterday, and because Dan Patrick literally could not give a sh** about sports, they talked about this. I mean, they also talked about him losing the No. 8 when he left Dale Earnhardt Inc. for Hendrick Motorsports, but he said it “didn’t bother [him] too much” so this is the important part.

Earnhardt Jr.: “No! Heck no! I mean, I just couldn’t.”

Patrick: “What if somebody is so hot, but she’s got Jimmie Johnson’s number on her?”

Earnhardt Jr.: “Ugh! That’d be a deal-breaker, easy. I mean, Jimmie is my buddy and all, but still…”

Patrick: “What if she’s got your Dad on her back, and he’s got angels wings?”

Earnhardt Jr.: “Sure, that’d be fine.”

I wish the line of questioning had continued, with Patrick asking “okay, so what if the girl models for Hawaiian Tropic, but she’s got this tattoo of Tony Stewart where he has mumps or something so it makes him look like Bubba the Love Sponge” and so on until he got to the big one, “would you sleep with a girl who know who you were and was into NASCAR?” and Dale had to sorta sigh and meekly confess, “no, I’m rich a famous and can sleep with regular girls”.

[h/t to Jeff Gluck @ SBN]

You wouldn’t normally think of Match.com as a place to go for sports news, but here we are: The online dating company has polled their 20 million-plus members to find out which U.S. cities have the highest number of female baseball fans. This is the kind of thing Baseball Reference should be doing. I don’t need to know how many pitchers have tripled in the 8th inning since 1972, I need to know that if I walk into Progressive Field wearing a Ryan Garko jersey I can walk out dating something besides myself.

So who topped the list? If you’ve been staring at that picture of Anna Kournikova in the header, you should already know.

So where are the hot beds for ladies who love baseball? We looked up the top 10 cities for baseball crazed gals and we found that our community has some serious baseball fans! In fact, nearly half of the women in St. Louis are baseball fans according to their Match.com profile. Even in our 10th ranked city, the Twin Cities metro, over a third of the women are fans of the boys of summer.

That’s not a huge surprise. Everyone I’ve met from St. Louis who wasn’t one of Nelly’s St. Lunatics has been awesome. Milwaukee, Fresno, Cincinnati and Worcester fill out the top five, which seems to have been decided upon based on the cuteness and strength of their closest team’s most popular player. So no, if I tried to pick up girls at the Prog it wouldn’t work — I’d have to travel 40 minutes south to Akron, Ohio (#9) where “the women of The Tribe are showing their support”. I wondered where they were doing that. Most of the women I know in Cleveland assume the Indians suck whether they’re in first place for three and a half months or not.

Akron comes in just behind Des Moines, Iowa, referred to on the list as the home of the movie The Field of Dreams. That’s probably my third favorite baseball movie, behind 61 Home Runs and Eight Of The Men Are Out.

[via Match.com]

Womens tennis news has been pretty drab of late, what with Serena Williams being stalked, being told she deserved to be stalked for wearing sexy clothes by the Sporting News, and having to watch her sister sing 311 karaoke on a booze cruise. Thankfully, I FINALLY get to write something positive about tennis (besides my weird obsession with Martina Hingis when I was younger) as the WTA has launched their “Strong is Beautiful” campaign, which is a lot like WWE’s “Smart, Sexy and Powerful!” campaign for their female wrestlers, only these people are actually strong and beautiful.

From the press release:

Drawing upon athleticism and grace – a unique combination that has turned the stars of the WTA into the most recognizable and followed female athletes on the planet – the campaign places the personal stories, pressures and dreams of the players front of stage. The creative is designed to support the WTA’s efforts to establish a deeper engagement with fans around the world and to promote both the sport’s next generation of players along with current established names.

The end result is a celebration of strong women from all corners of the world. Through all of life’s difficult circumstances, the players’ love for the sport and determination to succeed prevails. The new ad campaign is a life example that being physically and mentally strong is beautiful.

So flip through our gallery of the released pictures and videos of the campaign and take a look, I think you’ll like it. It’s hard to find pretty pictures of sports that don’t involve bikinis or dunking.

Read the rest of this entry »

If you’re like me, you commonly make out with two girls at the same time and you were also able to watch the NCAA Tournament’s early games on your office’s 70-inch LED TV while your coworkers shook their ham fists in rage. But many people didn’t have the luxury of skipping work or class to watch games yesterday or today, and thankfully there are still American businesses that care about the common man. Like Iowa Clinic in Des Moines, for instance, offering men discounted vasectomies this week so they could recover at home yesterday and today while watching the Tourney in peace.

The clinic’s Dr. Mark Kellerman says that the idea, while a common scheme across the country, is a great way for older men to be responsible and enjoy one of their favorite four-day sports weekends of the year. And it’s also when women finish the job they started 20 years earlier.

“A lot of times some of the discussion with patients is a bit tongue-in-cheek,” he said. “Guys come in and say it wasn’t their idea, but the wife says ‘Go.’ If they can get something out of it by being able to watch TV, that’s great.” (Via Des Moines Register)

Haha, yeah that’s awesome, women be demandin’, right guys? “Honey, if you go get your reproductive system destroyed then we can still never have sex but at least you can watch the games at home. Until I make you change the channel.” I don’t know, I’ve never been married, but I feel like I’m pretty close.

In related news, someone should make Travis Henry watch college basketball.

I got an email from a guy this morning whose wife (not pictured) writes for a blog called “Twinkies And Gin,” which sounds like a good place to be. His wife apparently has some issues with her partners in estrogen, specifically with how she has seen some of her female friends treat their football-loving boyfriends and spouses.

I know dozens of women who, by thier own report, are married to or dating men who are excellent husbands, boyfriends, fathers, step-dads, maintenance men, chefs, mechanics, landscapers and lays. But these women simply can not shut the f_ck up when it comes time for football season.

I see FB statuses whining about how he’s watching he game, I hear long phone calls complaning about how he should be doing yard work or spending time with the kids instead of cheering on the Packers. Guilt trips, rules about how long he’s allowed to watch the season opener, vacuuming during the last two minutes of the 4th because you think it’s funny. Eye rolling, degrading remarks, calling him a ‘child,’ putting down his friends…. the list goes on.

And you know what gals? You’re a bunch of b_tches.

Emphasis there was mine. I suggest reading the whole thing, and then voting on the related Asylum poll regarding your thoughts on female football fans. Here’s my vote Women that think like this? Awesome. Women complaining about other women’s asses? Not so much.

A 61-year old South African man was murdered by his family last weekend after changing the channel on their TV to watch World Cup soccer. The man – from the Makweya, Limpopo (Read: Florida) province – refused his family’s pleas to watch gospel programming on such a lovely Sunday, so his wife and kids smashed his face into the wall until he surrendered the remote and his will to live. And if my girlfriend is reading this, I swear I will never give you another Dutch Oven again.

David Makoeya’s wife, Francina (68), with the help of her 36-year old son Collin and 23-year old daughter Lebogang, grabbed him when he went to manually change the channel and put an end to his football-loving ways. In fairness, they didn’t beat him completely to death, and they called the police when he was merely clinging for life in a bloody heap on the floor. But as the police arrived, David heard the glorious vuvuzelas beckoning him to the afterlife.

Feel free to watch whatever you want, NBC Sports:

All three were arrested Sunday night, but Lebogang was released on $200 bail Tuesday, Malefo said. The other two are still being held in custody.

Malefo said the mother and son will reappear in the local Seshego Magistrates Court on July 27.

“He was always a happy man, never violent,” Makoeya’s nieces, Miriam and Anna, told the Daily Sun newspaper. “On Saturday, we saw him the last time at a funeral.”

Shockingly, this is not the first case of violence ever reported in South Africa; however, it has been towered over by labor protests in the region that have greatly embarrassed the World Cup’s organizers. But what did they expect? You put that many European athletes in one region and of course girls will eventually go into labor.

(Thanks to Upstate Underdog for sharing the remote; picture source here)