Say what you will about Jimmy Fallon’s inability to keep a straight face during … well, anything, really, but he morphs into the funniest person in the world when he’s called upon to do an impression of someone who never has an impression of them done. See: Neil Young, Eddie Vedder or that amazing (and seemingly totally lost) SNL sketch where he played Punky Brewster’s Dad.

One of the best of his unnecessary, spot-on impressions is top ranked tennis robot Roger Federer. In the latest installment of ‘At The Bar With Roger Federer’, faux FedEx eats tennis balls, reads Fifty Shades Of Grey and — you guessed it — fails to keep a straight face while talking about Santa Claus. It’s so parfeck.

Video is below.

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What, no patriotic bikini? Prude.

As I woke from my required 2 hours of social vampire sleep this morning, there was a strange thing on my television – live tennis. “At 7 a.m.?” I thought as I held a mirror under the hooker’s nose to make sure she was still breathing. Then I realized that in all my anticipation for the NBA Draft, I forgot that Wimbledon is going on. And wouldn’t you know it? There’s been some excitement already.

For starters, tennis dreamboat Rafael Nadal was upset by the 100th-ranked player in the world, Lukas Rosol, yesterday in 5 sets. Responded women everywhere, “Oh well, let’s go see Magic Mike.*” But the even bigger surprise, as I checked images this morning, is that Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Brooklyn Decker is still there. That’s strange, considering her husband, Andy Roddick has usually lost by now.

But sure enough, Roddick has won his first two matches and he will play 7th-ranked David Ferrer next. A win would bring him one step closer to ending America’s 9-year drought of men’s tennis major titles, which would be amazing. It would also keep Decker around for a few more days. What do you think about that, Brooklyn?

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Forget Brooklyn Decker, we got PAM SHRIVER in the house. (via It’s Always Sunny In Detroit)

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In super important tennis news, Wimbledon camera operator ‘Colin’ tripped backwards over a canvas barrier trying to get footage of Elena Vesnina signing autographs and ended up trapped under his own apparatus. DAMN YOU, CAMERA THREE.

The commentary team calmly points out his fall and notes, “thank goodness it was a grass court he landed on”, as if a foot-and-a-half fall backwards onto a clay court would’ve shattered his spine. Wimbledon should start playing on spiked steel courts just to validate them.

The worst part had to have been looking like such a goon in front of Elena. We’ve all been there, Colin.

[h/t Busted Racquet]

ESPN’s new 12-year, nearly $500 million deal to carry Wimbledon (all of Wimbledon, including the semi-finals and finals that were stuck on NBC) was caused by one simple thing — Simona Halep’s breast reduction. NBC Universal President Steve Burke was heard to remark “what is this, this is bullsh**” before throwing down his remote and resting his head in his hands for 40 minutes. “I just wanted to see her play, I don’t even know who this is.”

No, it was because NBC can’t get off their own jock about tape delay, and the All England Club wants their sporting events aired live. That’s all it took. NBC was so dedicated to taping things, then showing them slightly later that they lost one of their biggest and most storied sporting events, at least in terms of sports people don’t really watch. They tried to do it with the Olympics, and now they’ve done it with tennis. In a funny aside, the All England Club felt a live presentation would allow them a “single narrative”.

“We felt it was important to have a single narrative across the two weeks,” Ian Ritchie, the club’s chief executive, said on a conference call Tuesday. He added, “We felt very positively that we wanted to put it into one arena.”

I’m guessing the previous narrative, “these tennis players really want to win at tennis”, wasn’t getting through clearly enough on tape.

“Live is pre-eminent,” Ritchie said. “Live is the nature of the game now on sports around the world, not just for tennis, but for other ones.” He added, “I’m sure there is a place for tape delay and highlights, but the sports viewer wants to see things live.”

Ritchie said that he had had conversations in the past with NBC about changing its tape-delay policy, but gave no details.

“You understand from my comments that live is important,” he said.

An NBC spokesman declined to comment on Ritchie’s remarks.

Either that or he made a comment, and we have to wait five minutes to hear it.

I expected Ritchie to add a “did you see what I did there” or a “do you realize live” before he stopped talking, but here we are with the totality of Wimbledon on ESPN and chances of controversial wind-driven upskirts up 2000%. Sadly chances of Simona Halep nip slips are way, way down.

[via NY Times, with a h/t to Matt Ufford]

Novak Djokovic won his first Wimbledon title over the weekend, defeating noted anti-sleeve zealot Rafael Nadal. Immediately after winning the decisive point, he collapsed to ground and began a bonkers celebration that included him actually and for seriously eating some of the grass from Centre Court (video at Yahoo). Quoteth the Serb:

“I felt like an animal. I wanted to see how it tastes. It tastes good. It just came. I don’t know. It came spontaneously really. I didn’t plan to do it. You know, I didn’t know what to do for my excitement and joy.”

This brings me to an important point: thank God Novak Djokovic felt like a docile, grazing animal after his victory. What if he had felt like some sort of carnivore and leaped into the stands on the hunt for human flesh? Because, seriously, that quote could have been an attempted justification for that too, perhaps as part of an insanity plea. “Oh your honor, I just wanted to see how it tastes. I swear I didn’t plan it out.” Whatever, Dahmer.

I guess what I’m getting at is this: let’s just hope he doesn’t turn out to be an omnivore, or the U.S. Open could end up being a bloodbath.