We talk a lot about the esoteric weirdos who make those wacky Taiwanese animation videos where Tim Tebow gets literally crucified and hockey fights turn into graphic dismemberments, but sometimes its nice to see actual animation, where the people involved took the time to make it clever or interesting or pretty or not full of random stabbings.

In the spirit of that sentiment, here’s a clip from Blank On Blank that illustrates a 1992 interview with basketball great Wilt Chamberlain. Highlights include:

- Wilt as a giant monster, destroying a town
- Wilt lovingly petting a cat (because this is on The Internet)
- Wilt’s sexual motto (“Viva la difference!”)
- a thorough conversation about dog sizes

It’s good stuff. Check it out, and then watch the rest of their stuff if you’re bored. The Jim Morrison one about the beauty of being fat is a good one. And check out the one where Manny Ramirez beats his wife with an oversized bat that reads STEROID ALLEGATIONS. I think that was them.

[h/t to Deadspin]

With the table now set for the NBA Finals, as the Miami Heat will take on the Oklahoma City Thunder starting tomorrow night at 9 PM, I wanted to address a very important topic before we get all analytical on your asses. People have been talking and complaining about the rapidly-spreading fad of NBA players wearing “nerd glasses”, with the most notable attention directed at Dwyane Wade and LeBron James. For some reason, the fact that Wade even wore glasses without lenses has been something that should be talked about.

Fine. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how this fad isn’t anything new. NBA players have always been notorious trendsetters, starting with their eyewear. It goes back to the very first days of the NBA, as star players like Joe Dribbleguy and Kevin Bouncepass were generating buzz with their own ridiculous glasses.

After the jump, I’ve put together a gallery of the NBA’s biggest legends all wearing their own unique eyewear, on and off the court. And if these players are guilty of anything, it’s wearing glasses that apparently don’t have arms. I mean, what’s up with that?

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The sports world is abuzz with the news that a Magic-Johnson fronted group broke the dang old bank in order to purchase the Dodgers for over $2 billion, which is a figure so absurd that it may as well be written like a comic strip character says cuss words.

“Yes  Mr. McCourt, and our counter-offer is #!%*& dollars.”

Anyway, it’s no secret by now that Magic Johnson, while not a billionaire himself, is a mega-entrepreneur and philanthropist. Already in 2012, he’s bought a baseball team and announced he’s launching a television network. What’s next, a chain of restaurants that are like Applebee’s, but with edible food? A series of Wal*Mart-style superstores? It’s almost like he’s some kind of business wizard. Almost like he’s … gathering spectacular assets.

Wait a minute. Wizard … gathering … Magic … I think we may be on to something here, ladies and gentlemen. In the spirit of Magic Johnson’s spectacular purchase, I am pleased to present the nerdiest sequence of jokes to ever appear on With Leather. It is my pleasure to present to you a very special type of card game: a collectible one.

Faithful readers, I proudly present Magic Johnson: The Gathering.
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At least he’s not doing Fudgie the Whale. Eesh.

Burnsy has spent a lot of time writing about the hows, whens and whys of Dwight Howard eventual/suddenly leaving the Orlando Magic, so much so that his photoshop of Howard Superman-dunking with a suitcase is nearly as old as my editorship. So it’s somewhat fitting to know that while the good people of Orlando are busy writing and performing desperate anthems to keep Howard in town, Dwight is using his remaining time with the Magic to the fullest, i.e. trying to eat a cookie off of his face without using his hands. This is some serious “why is Obama filling out an NCAA tournament bracket” type sh*t.

The best part of the video is either how its inanity and pointlessness is immediately followed with an artsy, wistful retrospective on Wilt Chamberlain’s 100 point game, or imagining that the cookie on Dwight’s forehead is one of those huge ones from the mall and his dome is just that big. Next, they should challenge him to eat a large pizza like that.

[h/t to Buzzfeed]

The NBA is back.

That statement inspires one of two feelings inside you. The first is a swell of hope and a flood of memories from 65 years of America’s greatest team sport. The second, most succinctly summed up as “meh”, only allows you to enjoy basketball when jumping online to tell a bunch of strangers on the Internet how little of a sh*t you give about basketball being back. More than football, more than wonderful old boring baseball, pro basketball (especially now, especially after all that) divides us right down the middle, leaving us cheering with tears in our eyes or dismissing with a wanking motion.

To illustrate this point, see Exhibit A: TNT’s NBA Opening Day montage. Michael Jordan is giving respeck knuckles to Derrick Rose. Wilt Chamberlain is slapping Dwight Howard on the ass. Magic is no-look f**king passing to Kobe Bryant. It should give you goosebumps. If it doesn’t, please consult the second video, wherein a drunk guy in a Santa suit gets great tickets to an opening day game and uses his time to yell WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM SANTA, A RING to LeBron James while he shoots free throws.

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Sports

Wilt Chamberlain to Possibly Have His Own Postage Stamp - This is the most appropriate news bit of the day, as Wilt has been sticking it to white squares since 1958. [Smoking Section]

High Schoolers Petition to Make Quidditch a Real Sport - Blogger petitions to make high schoolers stop making decisions like this. It’s like Star Wars fans who join “Sith Councils”. Can’t you love something and not have to directly be a part of it? [Gamma Squad]

Hoop Dreams on Hulu - No real reason, I just wanted to remind you that one of the best movies of all time is on Hulu. If you have three hours to burn, you’ve got no better way to spend it. Except possibly watching Hoop Dreams in a theater, or on a TV. [Hulu]

The Dugout: Meet the UltraMets - Any Dugout that gets a cap doff from Jason Fry is an unqualified success. Go read about the Mets, and as a bonus, read about the best martial arts film of all time. TOMMY NO [The Dugout]

Kimbo Slice to Make Boxing Debut - So far, I think “being homeless” is the only thing this guy’s been able to make a sustainable career from. Up next: Kimbo Slice makes his pro wrestling debut, losing to Dick Trimmins at your local armory! [Cage Potato]

Not Sports

A Golden Treasury of Rihanna Grabbing Her Crotch - The caption for most of these photos should be “Please! Please use your words!” Part of me wishes we could get into pop stars who wear shirts and occasionally pants, but hey, she’s foxy, so good for her. [Uproxx]

Man, Woody Allen is Old - Yeah, but for about fifteen years he was a goddamned genius. And not the kind you say a guy who draws web comics is, an actual creative genius. He deserves any ingenue he can hook up with, whether they’re related to him or not. [Film Drunk]

Chris Hansen’s Most Memorable ‘To Catch a Predator’ Moments - Included in the Morning Links to make my girlfriend laugh. My favorite TCAP moment is when the false internet teen asked guys to bring her double cheeseburgers from McDonald’s to “show intent”. [Uproxx]

Tracy Morgan Can’t Joke About Any Living Peoples - Poor Tracy Morgan. He makes uninformed opinions about killing gay people and now he can’t talk about ANYBODY. Anti-bullying groups need to target Gallagher for his callous words about immigrants and watermelons. [Warming Glow]