The Craziest 10 Minutes In NFL History - This is about Joe Theismann’s leg breaking and all the gross replays, isn’t it? [Smoking Section]
Jennifer Lawrence Hurls A Bucket Of KFC Fried Chicken At A Basketball Hoop - Technically sports related! Also, possibly racist? [Buzzfeed]
6 Actors Who Played the Exact Same Role in Two Very Different Franchises - Chris Paul should be on this list. So should Ryan Gosling in ‘Drive’ and ‘The Mickey Mouse Club’. [Unreality]
Old Dirty Bastard biopic to star Omar from The Wire - Hey! Dirt-ay! Baby I got your honey (Nut Cheerios) don’t you worry! [Film Drunk]
‘Let Me Tweet That For You’ Will Be Your Favorite Thing On The Internet For The Next Five Minutes - This is one of those masterful moments of technology where you get excited to find it, then have absolutely nothing to use it for. Like Hypercolor. [UPROXX]
Will Ferrell Discusses Butt Sex, Demonstrates Dog Training Skills On Conan -Casa De Mi Padre was really funny, but the entire time I couldn’t stop thinking, “Man, I wish this was Black Dynamite“. [UPROXX]
This New Ending To Mass Effect 3 Explains Everything - Now I want to do one of these for The Blair Witch Project, just to put up a picture of the Blair Witch with THEY AIN’T EVEN SHOW THE BLAIR WITCH under it. [Gamma Squad]
The SF Giants Mascot Battle Royal, Or ‘Giant Seal Doesn’t Know How To Work’ - Reposting for posterity. Still the funniest and best thing to happen to me all week. [With Leather]
‘Mad Men’: The 8-Bit Choose Your Own Adventure Game - This needs to be more like the ‘Who Framed Roger Rabbit?’ NES game. I want to hop on one foot and punch Jimmy Barrett. [Warming Glow|]
13 Oddly Intelligent Instances Of Bathroom Graffiti - Saw one that said “yeah, but is it art?” inside a port-a-potty during SXSW. Didn’t know if it was talking about the pile of diapers or what. [HuffPost Comedy]
10 Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Sloths - Thing 11: Sloths love Chunk. But maybe you knew that. [The FW]
Why Do the Sitcoms We Love Have So Little in Common with the Lives We Lead? - I don’t know what this article is talking about, when Zooey Deschanel broke up with the guy from Death Cab she moved into my apartment, and she and I and all our friends go on these wacky date-adventures that end with us being a little worse for wear, but better friends. [Pajiba]
Comedian Will Ferrell handled player introduction duties during last night’s New Orleans Hornets versus Chicago Bulls game, and it didn’t disappoint. I’d say it ranks somewhere between his Ric Flair-inspired character on ‘Eastbound & Down’ and posing as a Venezuelan to pitch for the Round Rock Express as the funniest Will Ferrell sports moment ever.
Highlights include Derrick Rose loving The Notebook, Luol Deng collecting rare birds (and having a pet dolphin named “Chachi”) and Gustavo Ayon being loved despite not speaking “a lick of English”. I know I said this about Dirk Nowitzki, but Will Ferrell should just announce everything.
Rob Gronkowski and Matt Light Partied After Last Night’s Super Bowl Loss - I don’t know Gronk personally, but I assume “play football” and “party” are his only two speeds. This is how he expresses sadness. [Brobible]
M.I.A.’s Middle Finger: A Synthetic Scandal - Here’s an idea: if a “mere apology” isn’t enough to make the PTC happy, stop apologizing to the PTC. [Warming Glow]
Nicki Minaj Slowed Down = Jay-Z - The best part of the halftime show was watching Minaj bug her eyes out repeatedly and try so hard not to be the center of attention. [High Definite]
Eric Rosado Presents “Sh*t Knicks Fans Say” - I wanted to make a “Sh*t Indians Fans Say” so With Leather could get a little traffic, but “we didn’t sign anybody” and “Jason Kipnis is pretty good!” don’t make an entertaining video. [Smoking Section]
Clint Eastwood’s Super Bowl Comercial Contradicting His Political Beliefs? - What about that time he shot a guy with a gun in the old west? Would he shoot someone in real life? Has he ever even lived in the old west? [Moviefone]
Extended Version Of Avengers Super Bowl Trailer Is Here, Sort Of Reveals Who’s In Loki’s Army - I hope there’s a plot point explaining why they undid all the good of Captain America’s 1940s costume and gave him that Morphsuit looking number. [Gamma Squad]
The new Spider-Man looks like a giraffe, wears track shoes - And speaking of bad super hero looks, I hope Spidey can see the Lizard through those pools of urine on his face. [Film Drunk]
The Best Of #Step Brothers - I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home. [UPROXX]
Derpy Louisiana Congressman John Fleming Thinks The Onion Publishes Real News - This is Literally Unbelievable! I hope he never sees the story about the black neighborhood terrorized by an ask murderer. [UPROXX]
18 Jaw Dropping Photos Of Europe’s Deadly Winter - Click here for 23 jaw dropping photos from Bananarama’s Cruel Summer. [Buzzfeed]
SXSW Comedy Podcast Lineup Announced - Awesome, I can finally challenge the Sklar Brothers to a duel with swords. I don’t care, I’ll take them on at the same time, I bet they don’t even know how to use swords. [HuffPost Comedy]
15 of the World’s Weirdest Marriages, ‘I Now Pronounce You… What?!’ - I said “Chuck and Larry”. What, can you not hear me? [The FW]
Why Abed and Troy from Community are the Best Geeks on TV - The Big Bang Theory is the minstrel show of this generation. We need more shows about uncool people who actually exist. [Unreality]
Much to no one’s surprise, the Oklahoma City Thunder are currently the best team in the NBA, as Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook continue their strange “I’m not better than him but I’m secretly better than him” routine, and the Chicago Bulls and Miami Heat have all but locked up their eventual meeting in the Eastern Conference Finals. And as I pointed out yesterday, while I might be a little biased, the Orlando Magic’s incredible collapse is probably the most interesting story in the NBA right now.
Other than that, all eyes are on the trade mill, so essentially the Magic are the focus of everyone with Dwight Howard standing firm with his preferred teams of the Los Angeles Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, Los Angeles Lakers and New Jersey Nets. Of course he’s also said that he’d play for the Boston Celtics or Chicago Bulls, but it’s clear as day that he wants to play in New Jersey or Brooklyn or wherever, and Magic GM Otis Smith is way too stubborn to trade him, so Howard will most likely sign there as a free agent.
Everything else is pretty much business as usual. So let’s make fun of everyone, shall we?
It feels like the U.S. Open has turned into the NBA Playoffs, what with rain causing the tennis tournament to last the better part of a month, but we’ve definitely seen our fair shares of excitement. For instance, did you catch that semifinals match between Roger Federer (3) and Novak Djokovic (1) on Saturday? Hoo boy, that was some tennis excitement. Djokovic’s come-from-behind win in the 5th set was far and away the highlight of this year’s Open, but today’s Finals matchup between Djokovic and Rafael Nadal (2), who defeated Andy Murray with much less excitement in the semifinals, will probably be the stuff of legends as well.
On the women’s side, 9th-ranked Samantha Stosur defeated Serena Williams 6-2 and 6-3 to win the Women’s Championship, and of course Williams blamed it on the officiating. Williams yelled, “Come on” during a rally and umpire Eva Asderaki docked her a point for a code violation. That’s when Williams became a little miffed.