I absolutely hate this new MLB wild card scenario. I think it’s utter hooey, and I’m sorry for being so vulgar. It’s important to remember, too, that I’m a classy and intelligent St. Louis Cardinals fan, and I still think this wild card play-in game is crap. Yes, the rule is the only reason that my underachieving team is even playing for a chance to be in the playoffs today, and I still hate it. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it, I HATE IT.

It’s simply not fair to the Atlanta Braves, Texas Rangers, and Baltimore Orioles. And don’t give me none of that “Well it wouldn’t have been fair for the Rangers or Orioles and their 93 wins either” because they still would have had a play-in game, and I’m damn grateful for the convenience of their matching records, because otherwise my argument would have sucked more than it probably already does. By midnight tonight, we’re going to have two upset fan bases, and the AL fans will really deserve to be pissed. The NL fans, perhaps not as much. Either way, Bud Selig will probably give himself another raise.

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I don’t want to bag on the Atlanta Braves, because I have a lot of friends who are #BARVES fans and I respect their fanfare. I also just don’t have a reason to dislike the Braves, especially since they were kind enough to lose an assload of games at the end of last season so the St. Louis Cardinals could make the playoffs and win the World Series.

But come on, champagne? For clinching a spot in the Wild Card play-in game? To clarify, I’m in the “There should only be champagne at the World Series” camp, so I think it’s silly when teams do it at every level on the MLB playoffs. Here’s my alternative suggestion – Smirnoff Ice for the Wild Card win, beer for the Divisional Series, Jager for the Championship Series, and then champagne for the World Series. Hell yeah, bros!

Now on to tonight’s incredibly boring sports action…

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The sale of the Houston Astros to Houston businessman Jim Crane from technological monster Drayon McLane is official, and after the 2012 baseball season wraps up the 50-year strong National League squad will pack their their things, wait a moment, then unpack them in the same spot as an American League West stalwart. Finally, Texas can get rid of National League baseball and focus on what we love: hitting as many home runs as possible, then losing out of nowhere for no reason.

From an AP Source:

Crane reportedly agreed to the move in exchange for a drop in the sales price valued earlier this year at $680 million. The person who spoke to the AP could not confirm the sales price.

“We’ll let baseball talk about that,” current owner Drayton McLane said Wednesday night. “There were a lot of adjustments, so we’ll just wait and see what they have to say (Thursday).”

The players’ association believes two 15-team leagues would create a more proportionate schedule and has urged baseball to make the switch. With schedules for next season already completed, the earliest such a move could take place is 2013.

And here we are on Thursday, googling “Houston Astros” for the first (and possibly only) time in the calendar year.

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Always relevant.

Since we last spoke of America’s pastime – I believe it was all the way back on Monday – not much has changed in the playoff picture. While the New York Mets have proven that anything is possible, the divisional races are basically all settled, but the Wild Card races in both divisions are as warm as the side of the pillow that you just flipped over. I was never meant to be on SportsCenter.

The Boston Red Sox currently lead the Tampa Bay Rays and Los Angeles Angels by 2 and 3.5 games, respectively, while the Atlanta Braves have a 2.5 game lead on the St. Louis Cardinals and a 4.5 lead on the San Francisco Giants. After tonight’s game against the Florida Marlins, the Braves have a series against the Washington Nationals, before they close out the regular season with three games against the Philadelphia Phillies, who would undoubtedly love to knock the Braves out of the playoffs.

Making things even more difficult for Atlanta, the Cardinals play the Astros and Cubs (the Giants have it tough as well with the Rockies and Diamondbacks) so the NL race will be butthole tight the rest of the way. And if that doesn’t sound like a daunting enough task for the Braves, Major League Baseball is throwing superstition into play by launching the Braves’ “Legends are Born in October” commercial tonight. Ouch.

A whole season doomed by Lady Luck after the jump.

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