For the first time since before any of Matt Stafford’s favorite sorority girls were even born, the Detroit Lions are 4-0, and for the first time in 10 years, the Lions are hosting a Monday Night Football game. To celebrate, the staff at the Detroit Zoo surprised their male and female lion (I won’t assume that they’re a couple) with a special Chicago Bears piñata for breakfast. And they ate it much like Kristen Cavallari ate Jay Cutler’s big ol’ heart.

More than 50 people gathered to watch as the lions entered the exhibit and slowly paced around the piñata. A lioness was the first to pick up the scent. As she moved quickly to the piñata, a male lion was close behind. The female slowly paced around the piñata. She backed away when the male lion moved in, his curiosity picqued.

Soon both became distracted and paced around the exhibit. Eventually the female lion moved in and attacked her prey by biting off its arm. The crowd let out loud “oohs and ahs” as she lay down in front of her fans to eat her breakfast.

(Via the Shelby-Utica Patch)

Hot damn, that sounds exciting! Let’s get to the gnarly action…

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From Pro Football Talk comes this story of idiocracy, intrigue, veiled threats and now terrorist references between Saints safety Darren Sharper, innocent bystander Brett Favre and Vikings TE Visanthe Shiancoe:

It started with Sharper acknowledging quarterback Brett Favre’s recent ankle surgery by saying “X marks the spot.” It continued with Shiancoe pointing out that Sharper’s microfracture surgery puts a spot on his own knee.

And then Sharper tried to cajole Shiancoe into having the cahones to bet a game check on his performance in the season-opener between the Vikings and the Saints.

And then Shiancoe posted a photo of Osama bin Laden as Darren Sharper.

Most of the offending tweets and images have since been taken down, but I grabbed a few pictures for safekeeping. According to Shiancoe, “TRUE STORY! Before target practice a soldier suggested a custom target for me. Guess he wanted to start my engine early for the SAINTS game!”

I suppose the minds of NFL athletes are easily molded because even a 5-year-old could tell you that the soldier’s suggestion would be something you’d usually just laugh off. But Shiancoe is no such man. There’s nothing more entertaining than seeing a man do something so politically incorrect without realizing the implications of his actions. What was he planning to do with the poster, anyway? Have his children pee on it? Or does this have a deeper meaning, like he’s implying that Darren Sharper’s safety ability is akin to that of a 53-year-old rich dude with a turban and failing kidneys?

Pro Football Talk, Shiancoe’s Twitter