In case you haven’t heard, 8th-seed Robert Morris University knocked off the defending national champion Kentucky Wildcats, 59-57, in the first round of the National Invitational Tournament. No, seriously. Here, look.

Still don’t believe it? Here’s the YouTube description.

Robert Morris beats Kentucky
Robert Morris beats Kentucky
Robert Morris beats Kentucky

It was pretty incredible, despite Kentucky having to basically give up the spoils of being a top seed to play the game on the road. That’s outweighed by the hilarious tininess of Robert Morris, who didn’t bring in enough fans in an entire season to match one of the Wildcats’ home games.

Although the Wildcats were the top seed in the tournament, they had to travel to Robert Morris because Rupp Arena is being used for NCAA Tournament games. The total attendance for all of Robert Morris’s home games was 15,692. The attendance for Kentucky’s final home game was 24,294.

Robert Morris moves on to face the winner of the Providence/Charlotte game, and while a second round appearance is really all they’re guaranteed — they aren’t getting a giant new stadium for a bunch of new crazy bandwagon Colonials fans or anything — they’ve already enjoyed one unexpected perk.

Via Reddit comes the best possible edit to the Robert Morris Wikipedia page. It encapsulates everything you need to know about the upset in one beautiful reference to English-American history. Boom:

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By now you’ve probably seen it, DeAndre Jordan’s life-altering dunk on Brandon Knight in last night’s ridiculous 129-97 Los Angeles Clippers victory over the Detroit Pistons. Blake Griffin has called it the “Dunk of the Year” and Twitter instantly turned it into the 2013 version of the Dominique Wilkins poster I once had hanging in my bedroom as a kid. Poor Brandon Knight, just minding his own business as he traveled into the paint against one of the NBA’s most aggressive dunkers. Knight can go ahead and take a seat next to John Lucas now, because his career won’t ever be the same.

That’s not hyperbole. Dunks like this change lives, because no matter how well Knight performs the rest of this season or every season beyond until he retires, we’re always going to hear his name and laugh – “You mean the guy that DeAndre Jordan killed?” As fast as we move from meme to meme and GIF to GIF in this Internet era, we never forget. Just like Manny Pacquiao before him, Brandon Knight was dragged through the streets of Meme City last night after that “Just another day at the office” dunk by Jordan.

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Burnsy sent me this story in an e-mail this morning. The text read:

In case you want to write about this. I tried, but UGH

If you haven’t heard about this yet, Friday’s update on the official Asian Football Confederation website published “UAE to take cautious approach,” an article about the United Arab Emirates national team trying to qualify for the 2015 AFC Asian Cup. In the third paragraph, the team (also known as “Al-Abyad”) is refereed to as, “”Al-Abyad or Sand Monkeys”.

No, seriously.

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"A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three, four terrible contracts!"

As I updated in yesterday’s post about Carmelo Anthony hoping the New York Knicks would keep Jeremy Lin – presumably while making a dismissive wanking motion – the Knicks did not match the offer sheet that Lin signed with the Houston Rockets and he is, in fact, heading back to the same team that booted him last year. Of course, this time the Rockets will be paying him just a few dollars more.

To gauge a reaction of Knicks fans and NBA fans in general, all you have to do is search Jeremy Lin on Twitter and you’ll run the gauntlet from euphoric Rockets fans to angry Knicks fans to lazy racism to the same media that adored Lin now tearing him to shreds. Hell, some Knicks fans are even openly jumping ship to the Brooklyn Nets bandwagon, which was expected anyway. (Seriously, if your team sucks this season, the most fun thing to monitor will be New York fans in general. I predict that they’ll collectively be back and forth between the Knicks and Nets as both teams duke it out. It will be awesome and horrible at the same time.)

But perhaps the best response so far is the hit that Knicks owner James Dolan’s band’s Wikipedia page took. Known as JD and the Straight Shot, Dolan’s two-man band is beloved by someone, I guess. At least enough that it warranted a Wikipedia page in the first place. And last night someone edited that page to reflect some delightful new song titles.

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Yesterday we touched on the fury of a growing number of Miami Dolphins fans with the team’s GM Jeff Ireland, and how the first step in this united fan coup was roughing up the guy’s Wikipedia page. Part two begins a little later today, as a South Florida radio station claims fans are going to show up to team facilities and protest the franchise’s seemingly inept free agency, as punctuated by the signing of QB David Garrard late yesterday.

Fans across message boards and comment sections have even gone as far as to boringly dub this effort “Occupy the Dolphins.” Man, I guess you could say there’s really some ire in the land right now.

*flushes toilet*

Not so fast, though, says Miami Herald beat writer Armando Salguero. Sure, Ireland hasn’t done anything great during his GM tenure, but has he done anything really that bad to deserve something as cruel as Wikipedia editing?

Someon (sic) hacked into Ireland’s Wikipedia page Tuesday and edited in some unkind things about him being born in a Denny’s parking lot etc… Maybe that sounds funny to you. Maybe you’re cheering the imagination of that move. I guess I’m not talking to you.

I am talking to the folks who are thinking for themselves. Break down the moves on their own merit. Tell me what you would have done. Tell me where you would depart from the current course.

Be fair.

Yeah, don’t say the dude was born in a Denny’s parking lot. That’s not cool. That’s like asking a potential draftee if his mom is a prostitute. Sports fans are always supposed to be calm, mature and rational at all times, but apparently Salguero’s plea for tranquility came a few hours too late, as someone also made some changes to Dolphins owner Stephen Ross’ Wikipedia last night.

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"Join us, won't you?"

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, injecting my personal sports allegiances into this general sports humor site, Miami Dolphins GM Jeff Ireland (above L) is a walking disaster. It’s not clear as to whether the complete ineptitude of the Dolphins franchise rests on Ireland’s shoulders, or if deep-pocketed owner Stephen Ross (above R) is to blame. But something ain’t right in Miami.

Ross proudly boasts that he’ll spend whatever it takes to bring in elite athletes, but he’s failed to do so, and Ireland traded away the team’s best offensive weapon, Brandon Marshall, without bothering to replace him. Between this offseason and previous blunders – like asking Dez Bryant if his mom was a prostitute – it shouldn’t be much of a head-scratcher why players are slow to sign in Miami.

Oh, if only someone could put this all bluntly.

Pittsburgh Steelers safety Ryan Clark Tweeted the above explanation as to why Miami has been completely striking out this offseason, but has since deleted it after receiving a negative response from Miami fans, prompting this additional response: “After having so much interaction with ‘Phins fans, I am even more excited that I was blessed to stay in Pittsburgh.”

Ouch.

Meanwhile, someone also recently took a few liberties with Ireland’s Wikipedia page:

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