UPDATE: WL Reader Richie found what looks like Theresa White’s MySpace page, who had this status message: “Theresa is MIA [until] further notice. Sorry to anyone I have disappointed…I really am sorry.” I’m not totally sold; the picture doesn’t look like the one at NOTW. Still, great find, Richie.

The typically-reliable New York Post is reporting that Controversial swimming champ Michael Phelps was involved in a romp with a couple of strippers over the weekend. (the capital C is more for being “corporate controversial,” not actually controversial). I guess he looked hungry and they offered to make him a sandwich:

“The sex lasted for about three hours,” Baltimore stripper Theresa White told Britain’s News of the World (NSFW). “Michael should get another Olympic gold for marathon love-making!” [That quote couldn't have been any campier if it was read in the middle of an Old Navy commercial --Ed.]

White, 25, claims Phelps invited her and some of her lap-dancing pals to his apartment, and that’s where the action allegedly took a kinky turn after two hours of drinking. White said she approached Phelps for a three-way: “He told me he’d never had one before but said it would be with me and then pointed at another girl.

Good for him. This just illustrates the kind of champion he is, although I hope he wasn’t charged at an hourly rate. Oh, come on, you think these girls did him for free?! There’s no shame in paying for sex…unless it’s with a stripper from Baltimore. Bargain bin ass doesn’t impress anyone.

We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention that Alex Rodriguez was sharing a pimp with Eliot Spitzer, that New York Governor that was entertaining talks of being The First Jewish Presidential Candidate before getting caught in the guestbook of said whorehouse as “Client No. 9.” The madam of that establishment has now come out and explained her relationship with the Yankee slugger.

A-Rod wooed ex-madam Kristin Davis with flowers, jewelry, persistence and heated e-mails, according to the sources.

“Throughout the years, there were a number of clients that I befriended and it was not uncommon for them to want the women they can’t have whether it be the phone bookers or the madam,” Davis said.

ASYLUM POLL: If you had A-Rod’s Money, Would You Blow It On High-End Escorts?

So of course, Davis lowered her “standards” and eventually started dating him, and why not? She’s somewhat mannish. I’m just disgusted by this whole story. Why couldn’t he just take out his frustrations with monogamy by beating his wife like the rest of these guys? Does he think he can just buy these women, like one might buy a pack of gum at a gas station? He does? Oh, okay.

|NY Daily News|

TMZ has an extra innenudo-packed item reporting that a WWE Diva has been "fingered" by the FBI, which is "probing" Bella, an Los Angeles-based escort service. In an update, the gossip site notes WWE's vixen/diva/minx/whatever Ashley Massaro put the following message up on her MySpace profile. Her main picture is presently her giving the camera the finger, so that should be included in her statement to the press.

"Just got buzzed on some BS that is going around. Dont [sic] believe it for a second. Getting in touch with my lawyer as we speak."

I usually get buzzed on black tar heroin, but that's me. What TMZ neglected to note is that there's an "ass" in the middle of her last name. Just hanging out there for the whole world to see! I thought your site was serious about making puerile jokes. 

Perhaps we should also be mindful of the fact that June's WWE pay-per-view is entitled One Night Stand. It's not like those wrasslin' folks are above the occasional publicity stunt. Or steroid-induced murder-suicide.

The occasionally masturbatory Brandon M. points out that Oscar De La Hoya's niece, reality TV's Daisy De La Hoya, has made it to the final six "contestants" on the VH-1 television program, Rock of Love 2 [The Revenge! --GEd]. For those unfamiliar with the show, it's hosted by Poison's Bret Michaels and it's pretty much the greatest scam ever.  

Twenty lucky ladies will get their chance for an All-Access pass to Bret Michaels' heart and to share in all his superstar lifestyle…The girls who best meet Bret's needs shall be rewarded with exclusive gifts, dates and travels worthy of a music superstar. Over several weeks, Bret will offer the women who rock his world VIP passes allowing them to remain in his home – and his heart. The women who don't will be sent packing. Competition will be ferocious – for in the end only one lady will walk away a true Rock Star Girlfriend.

Rock Star Girlfriend? And he made an entire show out of this? And then managed a second season?! Where's the girl that won the first show? Probably in a dumpster in Kansas City somewhere. Tip of the bandanna to you, Mr. Michaels. If there's anything more American than rock n' roll, it's treating dumb, beautiful women like the absolute trash they aspire to be.  

[OGPaper.com]

[Daisy's MySpace page] 

Last week there was much ado about Reggie Bush's public dalliance with sex tape star / celebutante Kim Kardashian, which forced the whole bloggerhood to simultaneously congratulate Bush for her hotness yet fear for the well-being of his sexual health.  And today we see one more reason why we worried: after a "romance" with Bush that lasted (maybe) a few weeks, Kardashian has reportedly moved on to uber-wealthy music producer Scott Storch.

Yes, that's Storch — who has made the world a better place by doing things like helping Paris Hilton's music career — pictured here with Miss Kardashian (full-size image HERE).  Some people say that you can compensate for being short and pasty and ugly and fish-lipped by wearing lots of diamonds and Ray-Bans that cover half your face.  Other people say Scott Storch deserves to get a sexually transmitted disease from a world-class harlot whore hussy slut tramp like Kim Kardashian.  What do I say?  I say you, say me; say it for always.  That's the way it should be.

(Via SPORTSbyBROOKS)