MMA Fights Now Operating Under ‘Escape The Cage’ Rules

Written by Brandon Stroud / 02.06.12

mma-fight-breaks-cage-door-double-koDouble knockouts are rare. Stoppages due to cage malfunction are even rarer. That’s what makes this clip of Brandon Bishop and Braedon Ward’s Hardrock MMA 43 fight from Satuday night the rarest of the rare, the Mew, as it were, of mixed martial arts: it’s a double knockout via cage malfunction. What the what?

From Cage Potato:

After Ward managed to toss Bishop to the mat but was unable to complete the takedown, he bull rushed ahead with a double leg, eventually slamming into to cage door, which burst open and sent both fighters crashing to the ground.

As team members rushed to their aid, it quickly became apparent that both parties had been knocked unconscious in the fall, and the bout was subsequently ruled a no contest.

Good to see local MMA operating under the same rules as pro wrestling — it doesn’t matter how far or cleanly you fell, if the fall involved a prop (like a cage door, collapsable stage or stack of cardboard boxes) you have to lie there unconscious until people drag you away.

In other news, Hardrock MMA 43 seems like the most hilarious and best thing ever, coming pretty close to being the “Battledome” of organized fighting when you combine that double cage knockout with this second, even more brutally hilarious clip from the event. Watch as a guy from Kentucky tries to be the little monkey dude from Bloodsport and gets his skull caved in for his efforts:

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Japanese Runner Plays By Own Rules

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.05.11

Only a week ago, Natsuki Terada was at the top of his game. He was in peak physical condition, the pride of his country, and he was all set to marry his green-eyed bride, Miao Yin. Winning the Tokyo-Hakone relay marathon would have been the icing on his kasutera, and he had victory in the palms of his tiny-yet-efficient hands. But with less than 200 meters to go in the marathon and after bursting from third place to sitting pretty in the lead spot, Terada said, “To hell with standard race strategy” and he tried to win with his own bold plan – going the wrong way.

Shockingly, it didn’t turn out well for Terada. As soon as he realized his gaffe, he had already fallen from first to third place, becoming the shame of his family and undoubtedly incurring inglorious banishment. Worst of all, after he crossed the finish line he fell down and cried. Get up, you sissy! See, this is why I never run in marathons unless they involve beer helmets.

Insert classic Japanese stereotype here for video after the jump…

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Georgia Made A Little Math Error

Written by Ashley Burns / 01.03.11

The college football bowl season has become so long and drawn out that some teams can’t even wait for the results of their own games before they proclaim themselves winners. For instance, the Georgia Bulldogs honored their seniors with plaques featuring inscriptions of the team’s 2010 record of 7-6. Only one little problem with that, though… Georgia finished the season 6-7 after the Dawgs lost to Conference USA powerhouse* UCF in the Autozone Liberty Bowl on Friday. Hopefully the seniors hang their plaques in front of mirrors.

Take it away, “cutting edge” Florida Today columnist, Pete Kerasotis

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Delightfully Clueless Soccer Reporter

Written by JOSH Z / 04.05.10

chris_kamara

This is Chris Kamara, and he is already my favorite futbol reporter of all time. Because this is exactly how I would do football reporting. I don’t want to overdo the setup because Kamara’s reaction totally makes this for me. I just love how it unfolds. Thanks to readers Colm and Ryan. Read the rest of this entry »

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MIIKKA KIPRUSOFF SAW SOMETHING SHINY

Written by JOSH Z / 12.29.09

hockey_kiprusoff

There are few jobs in sports tougher than playing goalie in the NHL, and Calgary Flames goaltender Miikka Kiprusoff attests to that here, albeit unintentionally. There’s a flip pass from the other end of the ice, and I can’t tell if Kiprusoff was checking NBA scores on his Blackberry or what, but he doesn’t even see this puck that drops from the rafters and trickles by the unsuspecting Finn. Which really isn’t surprising when you consider that Finland doesn’t really have issues with rodentia or border patrolling. They just kinda hang out and play in the snow all day. via Puck Daddy, I think.
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BALLBOY TRIES TO FLY AT US OPEN, FAILS

Written by JOSH Z / 09.02.09

I don’t know what it is about the US Open in tennis that I find so utterly unimpressive. Maybe it’s the fact that it’s a New York sports event that’s almost become a place for celebs to be seen that has me almost irritated–like a Lakers game for arrogant East Coasters. Or maybe it’s because they have it so close to football season. Whatever it is, if it had more uncoordinated ballboys like this, I would be totally into it. Maybe the Open can work out a deal with the Special Olympians, if you could ever get them to stop eating the net. Thanks, Garett.

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