This will be the only time that “must-see missed free throw” is ever used on this site, but here it is: Brady Morningstar (of the Lawrence Morningstars, of course) steps up to shoot a free throw for a technical foul against Texas yesterday. The ball pops straight up after slipping out of his hands, and Morningstar is forced to jump, grab the ball in midair, and shove it toward the hoop before his feet hit the floor. Of course, he missed. The only thing that could rival this uncoordinated mess is a Conan O’Brien sex tape. –The Dagger.
I used to play hockey in Ohio three nights a week, but enough about my sex life. The NHL is about as relevant today as…well…Def Leppard, those rockers that poured some sugar on us back in the 1980s. It’s an apt simile, as that band helped drop the puck on the NHL season last night with a show of their own, which featured a bit of unrehearsed hilarity that spoke more to the everyfan’s apathy toward professional hockey than any dogshit literary comparison I could conjure up here.
Yes, NHL, a has-been band (in your employ, no less) just misplaced the greatest icon of your game, setting the Stanley Cup upside-down on a table. Fortunately, it was on Versus, so there’s a good chance nobody else saw it. Hell, Ufford killed a hooker on Versus in 2006. Or maybe it was a bear. Either way, the bitch had it coming.
Whoopsidoodle, ESPN! I guess that's what you get for hiring David Duke to join your production team. Poor Wilbon. All this institutional racism is clearly killing him inside. This is no way to celebrate Black History Month.
This comes from yesterday's sure-to-have-been shouty installment of Pardon the Interruption. I bet Bob Knight appreciated that send off very much.
Also, [respectable term for people of all colors and creeds] that's it for me as well. The Chief will return to his regularly scheduled sexified postings shortly. Go Stillers! -Christmas Ape
