Willie Mays Hayes Exists, And He’s Korean

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.16.13

Here’s Jeon Jun-woo of the Lotte Giants doing a “lotte” celebration for a home run that, uh, isn’t a home run. It’s the Korean Willie Mays Hayes, everybody. I can’t wait until the Korean Pedro Cerrano shows up. (via ClipNation)

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Links

Jeon Jun-Woo Willie Mays HayesHere’s What A New Orleans Brass Band Covering Daft Punk Sounds Like |UPROXX|

Watch The ‘Simpsons’ Couch Gag That Was Produced By The ‘Robot Chicken’ Team |Warming Glow|

Netflix’s Streaming Traffic is Up 35% from Last Year |Film Drunk|

Floyd Mayweather Probably Doesn’t Know He’s In This Porn Ad |With Leather|

Full Trailer For Vin Diesel’s ‘Riddick’ Something Something ‘Ridiculous’ |Gamma Squad|

#DMXWeek: The 12 Most Gruesome Deaths From ‘It’s Dark & Hell Is Hot” |Smoking Section|

The Case Of Chip Kelly And The Missing Tacos: Tokyo Drift |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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The Gold Coast Suns Got A Vaginal Rebranding

Written by Brandon Stroud / 05.13.13

Poor Gold Coast Suns, now they’re gonna be the Gold C*nts forever. In a related story, Gold C*nt is my favorite Bond villain. (via Reddit)

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Links

Gold Coast Suns Gold CuntsWatch 1974′s ‘The Great Gatsby’ Recut Like 2013′s ‘Gatsby 2 The Streets’ |UPROXX|

ABC Releases First Footage From Marvel’s ‘S.H.I.E.L.D.’ |Warming Glow|

Vince Vaughn has outflanked us again! |Film Drunk|

A Man With No Arms Threw Out The First Pitch In Baltimore (Like A Boss) |With Leather|

The PBS Avengers |Gamma Squad|

Tracy McGrady’s Top 10 Poster Dunks Just Because It’s Nice Outside |Smoking Section|

Testing Tyrann Mathieu |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Bloodline Series (Hey, donate to this!) |IndieGogo|

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The Stetson Hatters Hosted A Pretty Awful First Pitch Attempt

Written by Ashley Burns / 05.10.13

Having attended quite a few baseball games at Conrad Park in beautiful DeLand, Florida – where the man with the newest model El Camino is king – I can tell you with great certainty that Stetson Hatters fans take their baseball quite seriously. After all, baseball and (every once in a while) basketball are all that Stetson has had ever since its football program decided to take a dirt nap back in 1957. But with football poised to return this year, the baseball program might as well enjoy the popularity while it can.

And judging by this first pitch from Tuesday’s night’s game against Florida State, Stetson fans have already long forgotten about baseball and, more specifically, how to throw one. We’ve previously discussed the finer aspects of what I believe is the art of throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game, but the one thing that I will always impress upon those given the opportunity is to not act like a total douche caboose before you throw the pitch, unless you are absolutely confident that it’ll be a strike.

Because otherwise you’ll look like this goober and there’s no recovery from the bro shame that will be laid upon a man after this kind of performance. Shame this man, Stetson bros. Shame him good.

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Good Morning, Here’s A Guy Scoring An Embarrassing Slapstick Goal On His Own Team

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.15.13

Good morning! How was your weekend? Meet Utrecht centerback Mike van dor Hoorn, a man who turned “stumbling uncontrollably” into a goal scored. On his own team. It’s happening in slow motion no matter how you watch it. So just remember: no matter how bad your Monday gets, it could be worse. You could be Mike van dor Hoorn. (via Dirty Tackle)

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Links

mike van dor hoorn goal on own team‘SNL’ Recap: Vince Vaughn And Miguel |Warming Glow|

Justin Bieber Went To The Anne Frank House, Wrote ‘She Would Have Been A Belieber’ In Guest Book |UPROXX|

Scary Movie 5 Ripped Off Idiocracy’s Joke about Putting Butt Stuff in Your Mouth |Film Drunk|

A New Reason To Love The Houston Texans: Texans Cheerleaders Are Fandangoing |With Leather|

The Debut Trailer For ‘Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon’ Is A Sausage-Stuffed, 80s Cartoon-Aping Bit Of Wonderful |Gamma Squad|

You Will Watch PSY’s “Gentleman” Video Because He Farts And Forces A Woman To Smell It |Smoking Section|

NFL Players as Superheroes part 3, Return of the Puns |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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San Francisco Defeats Truman

Written by Brandon Stroud / 02.04.13

49ers beat ravens super bowl

In the worst results-reporting since Other Guy defeated What’s-His-Face, the NFL Network — you know, the network with “NFL” in its name — declared the San Francisco 49ers the winners of Super Bowl XVLII, knocking off the Ravens 34-31.

@bubbaprog shared this picture via Twitter. I don’t see how the football channel could get the result of the most important-possible football game incorrect moments after it happened, but I have three theories:

1. The NFL overturned the result, because whatever, they do what they want.

2. @bubbaprog lives in an alternate, concurrent, ‘Sliders’-style universe where Joe Flacco’s eliteness wasn’t vindicated and the 49ers really did pull off the victory. Also in this universe, Ray Lewis is an accessory to NOT stabbing a guy.

3. The NFL Network is dumb.

Theory 2 is the most reasonable one so far.

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In Soviet Russia, Coach Passes To You

Written by Brandon Stroud / 01.29.13

A guy on a Russian basketball team accidentally passed to his coach, so the coach dished out an assist. I know it’s not legal or whatever, but this is Russia, man. This could’ve counted. (via LAF)

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Links

Russian coach passGood God, Lemon: The Definitive Collection Of Liz Lemon Reaction GIFs |UPROXX|

10 Of Today’s Best Television Showrunners And Their Embarrassing Early Writing Gigs |Warming Glow|

Ashton Kutcher hurt himself method acting |Film Drunk|

Bow Down To Your New Lord And Master, The Chainsaw Slingshot Guy |With Leather|

7 Video Games That Are Going To Be Surprisingly Successful In 2013 |Gamma Squad|

T.I. Talks Bidding War, Guns, Reality Shows & Former Foes |Smoking Section|

In Most Devious Act Yet, Ndamukong Suh Saves The Life Of Louie Anderson |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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