The St. Louis Cardinals won the World Series. More importantly, I found out that Jim Thome autographs the Halloween candy he hands out.

That’s a Jim Thome signed Kit Kat, shared with Dugout co-founder Jon Bois by @bretwallin, and it’s right behind “that time he dressed as Paul Bunyan” on the list of things Jim Thome has done in real life to pull him closest to our fictional depiction of him here. The only way it could get better is if he accidentally kills something by petting it too hard.

Halloween was two days ago, sure, but this is the reason it should happen every day. Today’s Dugout follows.

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Here’s a new Snickers ad with Colts kicker Adam Vinatieri, and I gotta say, I don’t get it. Okay, so dude kicks the ball–from a hold–straight up into space? And it hits a satellite. And not only does that satellite not burn up on re-entry, but crashes on the same field just yards away from where the ball was kicked. Was he aiming for that satellite? Or was he just being a dick because dude was eating candy on the field? Kickers probably eat candy all the time. It’s not like they’re doing any work out there. Thanks, Samer, via.