While I was blithering on like some handsome buffoon yesterday about the Turtle of Michael Phelps’ entourage complaining that the celebrated swimmer was spending all of his money on poker and not shoes for his friends, I was missing out on a huge scandal. Apparently some nogoodnik released two photos from Phelps’ upcoming Louis Vuitton campaign, and that’s a huge offense to the International Olympic Committee.

How serious is it? Phelps could actually lose some medals if it’s determined that he knew about this leak.

A new IOC regulation, called Rule 40, prohibits athletes from appearing in ads for non-Olympic sponsors from July 18 to Aug. 15. According to the IOC’s 19 page explainer, Rule 40 is designed to prevent ambush marketing, defined as non-Olympic sponsors trying to associate themselves with the Olympic brand. (Via CNBC)

The above image was leaked by a website in Barcelona on August 7, which is obviously much earlier than the IOC sponsorship rule allows. From there, a bevy of other websites ran the bathtub pic and another (after the jump), including the perennial Pulitzer contenders at The Daily Mail, which, according to CNBC, even managed to spell the entire title of the article correctly.

So who the hell released these photos? Will Phelps actually lose any medals? Who wears a bathing suit in the bathtub? Trust me, those questions are the least of Phelps’ worries.

Read the rest of this entry »

Somebody gon’ get they foam head split. (H/T to NDEddieMac)

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Links

‘Archer,’ Podcasting, Lana Kane Cosplay, Veal Cutlets, And Truckasaurus Hands: An Interview With Aisha Tyler - Archer week continues. I wonder if I could convince my bosses to organize a The Gospel Bill Show week at UPROXX? [UPROXX]

Ten Recurring ‘SNL’ Characters Who Should Have Been One-Offs - Calling bullsh*t on this list because Billy Smith is the funniest thing ever. I don’t think my brain has yet convinced me that Gilly is a real thing. [Warming Glow]

7 WTF Endorsement Deals Featuring Rappers - It’s even better when you make them up: Hip hop superstar Ma$e says drink more Ovaltine! More Ovaltine, uh huh, yeah! [Smoking Section]

Genius Parody: Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close For 9/11 Conspiracy Theorists - “A plane crashes in an EMPTY FIELD and leaves no trace. ARE WE AT F*CKING HOGWARTS?!” [Film Drunk]

Launch Photon Ass Torpedoes — Astronauts in Danger From Their Own Farts - This is what we’re gonna talk about today instead of doing the SOPA blackout. You’re really missing out, Wikipedia. [Gamma Squad]

17 Angelfire Pages That Are Still Up Right Now - This made me chant “holy sh*t” at my computer. Angelfire sucked when I started using the Internet in like 1996. What’s next, discovering the lost ruins of GeoCity? [Buzzfeed]

Adult Swim’s Songs For Helping “3-Way” - /takes detailed notes [Adult Swim]

Wendy Williams Launches Campaign To Save the Twinkie - Paula Deen should join in this, and the two of them should roll around naked in a field of obese babies. Launch a campaign to eat a head of lettuce, your insides look like burnt lasagna. [The FW]

‘Mad Men’ Season 5 Poster Is So Minimalist It Makes Your Ceiling Look Busy - Don’t care, still marking out. It should’ve just been a high-res picture of Trudy and Pete doing the Charleston. [FARK]

Based on the Movie Posters Alone, Which of these 10 Movies Are You Most Compelled to See? - Just Mad Men. But I would probably sit through The Enormous Face Of Kate Beckinsale In 3D. [Pajiba]

The Ultimate Bond Film - Cool story bro: I was trying to do a Google image search for James Bland, the guy who wrote the Virginia state song, and all I got was a bunch of pictures of Daniel Craig. Apparently that’s what people call him. I had no idea. My Bond knowledge is limited to “Goldeneye ruled”. [Unreality]

Troy & Abed’s Dope Adventures - Cool, but a little socially concerning at the same time. Basically the Uncool People On The Internet equivalent of Britta and Annie’s cheerleader wrestling. [High Definite]

This doesn’t appear to be much more than a group of Japanese guys in an amphitheater sticking microphones to each other’s butts while they cut ass. That’s so weird…are there really 2 “H”s in amphitheater? But that makes it look like “AMF-uh-thee-atre.” And really, these particular, uh, passages are not all they’re queefed out to be. My grandmother could fart like that just getting out of the car. Or maybe that sound is the cartilage in her hip disintegrating. Either way, it’s a great laugh for the whole family.

Anyway, that video is after the jump. Hold your nose and let ‘er rip. Read the rest of this entry »

This is Tiger Woods working his magic at the last Buick Open in a way that only the greatest player in the world can do it. Woods standing in the 18th fairway ripping one of the great on-camera farts of our day is both hilarious and inspiring. Surely this will inspire disadvantaged children all over the world that, they too, can get on TV and cut ass with their Kiwi friends. Oh, and Woods won the Open by three shots, and in doing so, explained to the world why he wears black pants on Sunday. via.