The Arizona Wildcats defeated the South Carolina Gamecocks 4-1 last night to complete a sweep and win the program’s fourth NCAA baseball title in school history. Coach Andy Lopez and the Wildcats put on a hell of a show to win his second College World Series in 20 years; in fact, this one comes on the 20th anniversary of his first, when he was the unknown coach of the even more unknown Pepperdine Wave.

But enough about all that awesome, inspirational baseball stuff, there were also morons in Omaha last night. Seven morons, to be precise, and I could even go as far as to call them knuckleheads. That’s the kind of foul mood these no-gooders have put me in. At one point during the game, these Douche-Bagnificent 7 (trademark pending) rushed the field and caused a delay in the game as security had to wrangle them up.

As you can see above, one ambitious girl even got herself a handful of some Wildcat ass. And knowing baseball players as well as I do, I can only hope that he farted on her hand. That would have been the mature thing to do.

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It has been 16 years since Tonya Harding and her ex-husband Jeff Gillooly conspired to break Nancy Kerrigan’s leg during a practice at the U.S. Figure Skating Championships, and things have never been better for Harding. People Magazine is “reporting” that Harding has a baby boy due any day now, which is super wonderful for the 40-year old, whose recent career highlights have included a 3-3 professional boxing career record and multiple incidents of domestic violence.

RAIN DOWN THE HELL FIRES OF THIS SPAWN OF EVIL, PEOPLE!

The former figure skater, 40, is expecting her first child with husband Joseph Price, her attorney confirms to PEOPLE.

“Tonya is pregnant and very happily married,” Linda Lewis tells PEOPLE. “She wants her privacy, but she is very happy.”

Aw, that’s sweet. It’s fitting that her attorney broke the news and not an agent or a manager. Look, I know this isn’t really the most important news in the world, but I find it remarkable that the media still pays attention to this woman. She hasn’t done anything of worth for the past five years, which means she should at least run for public office.

Meanwhile, in a follow-up with Rolling Stone magazine, Justin Bieber said, “In this case, I’d be totally cool with it.”