Ben Crane seems like a normal guy who could have a nice, under the radar career. But no, the Internet has turned everything into a high school talent show popularity contest, and the jocks are the first ones to put on wigs and put balloons into bras and do funny dances to “My Humps.” Suddenly, Crane is a weird hybrid of Dean Pelton from “Community” and Brian Wilson, moonwalking on the Internet in ladies underwear for your amusement.

Watch the following video to forever change your impression of Ben Crane. You know, honestly? This video might be a good thing. Because show of hands, how many of you had an impression of Ben Crane before clicking this?

It’s the best and worst thing to happen to golf since Tiger Woods sent that “you are wrong I’m bone thugs in harmon” text.

This is called, if I can read the card here, “Bubble-sort with Hungarian (“Csángó”) folk dance,” and this is not so much a post about sports as it is a dare to see how long you’ll watch this. I’d lay even money that you make it to the last 45 seconds, but at that point you’ll actually realize what’s happening. I’m told that this is exactly how they auction off prostitutes in Reykjavik. Those crazy Icelanders like to kick the tires on everything.

Really, my favorite part of this is how each dude slaps his feet in alternating fashion as he retreats back to his “bubble.” That requires an amazing combination of hand speed and prissiness. Johnny Weir wants to try now. Read the rest of this entry »

In case you haven’t been watching – and I seriously hope you haven’t been watching – former Super Bowl MVP Kurt Warner has been a contestant on Dancing with the Stars this season, and his performances through this week have reportedly been bad. How bad? ABC tried to replace him with Marc Bulger Matt Leinart. I kid, I kid. But seriously, he’s been terrible.

I can judge Warner’s dancing skills with confidence because after watching this video of his performance from Tuesday night’s DWTS I watched a few other performances and then I cried a little, mainly because I had to watch videos of people dancing, but also because I sat on my balls a little. Warner and his partner Anna Trebunskaya received a score of 22 out of 30, which is still not as bad as Michael Bolton’s 12 from earlier in the season (Thanks, Google!). The judges also called this performance “awkward”, but only because Dick Vermeil was crying the whole time.

Watch Warner get jiggy with it and call for a flag after the jump…

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Kurt Warner will join former NFL quarterback Troy Aikman Dancing with the Stars next season. The show, entering its eleventh season, has had a number of NFL stars compete on the show including Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones.

Kurt Warner will be among Dancing with the Stars’ eleventh-season competitors this fall, the Washington Post reported Monday.

While Dancing with the Stars’ prior seasons have featured several retired NFL players — Michael Irvin, Jerry Rice, Emmitt Smith, Warren Sapp, and Lawrence Taylor — as well as still-active players — Jason Taylor and Chad Ochocinco — Warner would be the first quarterback to compete on the ABC reality ballroom competition. –Reality TV World

This trend of football players dancing with the stars need to end, now. Better yet, this show needs to be cancelled immediately. Dancing is something that’s done by yourself at three o’ clock in the morning, not on national television. Except for Erin Andrews, but when I say “on national television” I mean in scantily clad in my room. I hope Erin wasn’t on the same season as Lawrence Taylor. He tends to get a little ‘handsy.’ My mistake, I forgot that was only with 16 year-old prostitutes.

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So Will Leitch, the blogosphere personality who has on more than one occasion posted an unflattering picture of yours truly over at Deadspin, got caught on camera celebrating the Cardinals World Series win. Well, back at'cha, Holmes.

(For the record, my compatriots at Kissing Suzy Kolber posted this a few minutes before I did.)

I've been known to make fun of Pittsburgh and its fan base for… well, for being jackasses. Which is why I'm happy to bring you this video. This here is as good as it gets, my friends. It is absolutely imperative that you watch this. There's a lot of dead air until this becomes the best thing ever, though, so I've included a handy table of contents (below Mr. YouTube player) of how one Air Force cadet/Steeler fan likes to let off steam after class. 

0:21 — Stoops explains the situation.

3:03 — Pele comes in. "Class blew," he says.

3:30 — Stoops leaves.

4:15 — Pele puts on some 50 Cent. There's some impassioned head-bobbing as he starts to feel it.

4:43 — 50 Cent ain't doin' it, so he puts on a Steelers song. Apparently, yes, he has this on his iTunes.

5:11 — Everybody dance now.

It's a beautiful day, isn't it?