Lulling his dinner into a false sense of security...

Yes, you’re reading that right. Apparently a man from ‘New South Wales State’, a place I do not know but I will assume is where all of the stupid people in the world come from, decided after popping a few ‘brewskis’ that he’d watched enough episodes of Crocodile Hunter to properly take one for a test drive. Unfortunately for prospective crocodile drivers around the globe, they are still not a viable form of transportation and the crocodile bit the poor man in the leg. See Al Gore, finding alternatives to oil-powered vehicles is DANGEROUS!

A 36-year-old man from New South Wales State was on vacation in Broome in north Western Australia. He got drunk at a bar on Monday night and was asked to leave by the staff. That’s when he left and climbed a fence to get to a 18-foot saltwater crocodile at a crocodile park and decided to try to ride it.

The owner of the park didn’t have much sympathy for what happened next. Malcolm Douglas said, “If you are stupid enough to jump over a fence and ride a croc, I am sorry, that is your loss.”

Fatso the crocodile attacked the man and he sustained lacerations to his leg. -WHEC News

Excuse me as I attempt to befriend this Malcolm Douglas fella for naming a crocodile ‘Fatso’. That’s just excellent. Hell, the guy owns a crocodile park! I’ve basically found my new best friend. Now all I’ll need to do is inform him of this fact and we’ll both be set.

My question is, where did the man think he was going with that crocodile? To pick up some hamburgers and raw meat at the McDonald’s drive through? I hope that man’s schedule looked like this:

1. Get drunk
2. Ride crocodile
3. ?????
4. Profit

Move over Lobster Dog and Toonces the Driving Cat, There’s a new With Leather hero in town and he goes by the moniker ‘Deep Sea Dog’. Yes, a Russian pet-owner has decided that it’s time a canine explores the glorious depths of the Pacific ocean and is sending his pioneer dachshund Boniface out in a scuba suit and a box on his head because he probably had trouble finding a diving partner and a dog has no opinion in the matter.

Owner Sergei Gorbunov, a professional diver in the Pacific Coast city of Vladivostok had a diving suit complete with helmet made for the dog and is teaching him the tricks of the trade.

In a recent demonstration, Boniface barked eagerly as Gorbunov readied the equipment and uncomplainingly endured being hung upside-down as Gorbunov fitted the suit on him. Once underwater, he seemed to have a different outlook, emitting some high-pitched whines.

Gobunov says, “Underwater, I don’t think he experiences any stress.” -Yahoo!

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If you’ve been around the site for any time at all, you know that we pay homage to Toonces of “Saturday Night Live” fame at every possible opportunity. DUIs and vehicular homicide just warm our hearts, because a Toonces image is almost a foregone conclusion. It’s one of the things that makes With Leather unique, if not intolerable.

When we found a video of “Toonces Without A Cause,” available after the jump, it seemed time to give the kitty his due. So thumbnails of our favorite Toonces photo edits are below as well. And as long as professional athletes are driving drunk and killing pedestrians with cars, there will be plenty more to come. Read the rest of this entry »

One of the great pre-springtime traditions has been renewed again. The Name of the Year tournament, run by three anonymous English-speakers somewhere in America, dates back to 1994, when Mummenschontz Bitterbeetle accumulated a majority of votes. Today, 64 of the year’s greatest names “play off” in an elimination bracket based on your votes. Among the great names considered for year’s tournament:

Should SummerStarr Grey make it past the first cut? Is Rejoice Oldjohn at this point just another African name? Cinnamon Frost or Cynammon Crabb? Have we had it with legal name changers like Captain Danger Awesome? (We have.) Is Spontaneous Gordon an instantaneous No. 1 seed? Is Dick Mingalone a worthy representative of the Dick party? Can he fill the designated Dick slot if Dick Smallberries Jr. can’t fulfill his duties?

Should legacy Wonderful Terrific Monds II get a ballot slot, or is it one NOTY nomination per family? And what of the late Savior God-Scientific Allah, a Detroit boy who tragically fell out of a window and died? Will his multidenominational name live on in NOTY? via.

Voting is now open, and if you’ve never seen the site, it is destination viewing for March. Plus it’ll be fun for you to fill out a bracket that doesn’t completely tank like your basketball bracket did this year.

A lot of people don’t realize that the relationship between bears and bicycles go back all the way to the first World War, when the Chinese tried to teach bears to fire rifles and ride bikes at the same time. And while that sounds impossible to us, we’ll never really know since that original group of scientists was eventually eaten. But devouring one’s foes seems too violent for the contemporary bear, and certainly not as much fun as pedaling around his foe in circles. Bears and bikes were really made for each other. Bears would totally kick ass in the Tour de France if it weren’t for their hatred of all things Parisian. Well, that and they keep eating their sponsors.