Before Clinton Portis endeared himself to fans by creating such alter egos as Coach Janky Spanky and Sheriff Gonna Getcha, he was already beloved for his episode of MTV’s Cribs back when he played for the Broncos.  Portis showed off a basement that featured a water bed, a jacuzzi, mirrored ceilings, and a stage with a stripper pole.  (Perhaps a little more cheerful than soundproof walls and leg irons, but to each his own.)

These photos uncovered by D.C. Sports Bog (more if you follow the link), judging by the burgundy-and-gold motif, show that the stripper pole lives on — and gets its fair share of use — in Portis’s DC-area residence.  Can’t say I’m really enthralled by the performance here.  Definitely lacking in authenticity.  Needs more body glitter and platform heels and mesh shirts.  And hair that smells like bubble gum and cigarettes.

ChicagoSports.com published this photo from the boat party where Bears running back Cedric Benson was arrested for BWI and tased.  As noted  in the original post, Benson and the LCRA — water cops! — had strikingly different stories, with Benson's sounding like police brutality and the LCRA's sounding like dealing with an aggressive drunk.  This photo, supposedly taken a few hours before the arrest, shows that Benson is clearly guilty of partying with his mother (center), Sun Chips, and — the most heinous crime of all — white girls.  And, along with witnesses' reports, it's changing the way people are looking at the incident.

"I called my dad and told him, 'Call 911, my black friend is getting beaten up by police on Lake Travis,' " said Elizabeth Cartwright, 22, a friend of Benson's from the University of Texas. "It's more what I heard than what I saw. I have never heard or seen Cedric that scared."… She said her fiance also took dozens of photographs that help corroborate her claims. [...]

Cartwright, an English major at the University of Texas who is to graduate later this month, estimated she and her fiance had been boating with Benson six times this spring and each time a Lower Colorado River Authority boat pulled them over for a safety check.

One thing's for sure about this whole situation: it would be way more interesting if Benson was a semi-decent running back.

[FanIQ, SbB] 

Red Sox Nation has once again lowered the bar for others to mock it more easily, as the new "Hot or Not?"-type website Sexy Sox Girls provides no shortage of female Red Sox fans making the most out of the iconic "B" logo and unbuttoned David Ortiz jerseys.

The Boston Herald, which one day aspires to suck as much as the New York Post or Daily News, had this to say about it:

A new Web site, sexySOXgirls.com, invites the women of Red Sox Nation to post playful soft-porn photos of themselves in Sox hats, shirts and other strategically placed paraphernalia.

I need to check, but I'm pretty sure "soft-porn" doesn't even mean anything.  It's just something the writer made up, and the editor must have looked at it and said, "Hmmm, soft-porn.  Sure, sounds good."  There's such a thing as "soft-core" porn, which is your typical Playboy magazine, or maybe late-night Skinemax.  But none of these chicks are baring their breasts, so that's clearly not what they meant.

Seriously, I was gonna make fun of this Kristy chick here, but now I just want to know what soft-porn is.  Would the videos I have of me and my stuffed animals be considered soft-porn?  I dunno, but Fluffy isn't nearly as soft as he used to be, that's for sure.

[Lion in Oil] 

The esteemed Hooters restaurant in Augusta, Georgia, played host to the Hooters Par 3 Bikini Contest, and if you can get past the crowd of creepy white guys drinking beer and staring, Don Chavez has a gallery full of silicon and spray-tan that goes well with its natural symbiotes, gym memberships and low self-esteem.

Judging by this photo, it appears that the blonde in the center came in first, while the brunette on the left earned the prize for runner-up, which I'm guessing was a pair of orange shorts, puffy white athletic socks, and a Hooters t-shirt she can cut up any way she wants by the time her first shift starts tomorrow.

In other, more boring Masters-related news, Tiger Woods finished at par yesterday, while someone named Trevor Immelman presently leads at -6 overall.  Coverage begins on ESPN at 4:00, if you like to watch pretty green grass on TV while people talk quietly.

Some mystery website turned up this video of Vikings tackle Bryant McKinnie enjoying the company of some young ladies at a nightclub, and while there's no placing the date and location of the club, there is immense enjoyment to be had from watching it.  He's such a gentleman that I can hardly believe he's the same guy who went down on a stripper in public.

On a related note, I'm adding "feeble white guy responsible for telling 6-foot-8, 335-lb NFL linemen they can't grind on women there" to my list titled Jobs Worse Than Blogging.  Right now the only other job on that list is "co-host on The View."

[Kissing Suzy Kolber] 

Today's shaping up to be a busy day here at With Leather, and as with all busy days, I like to kick it off with a little bit of man-candy (…wait what?).  Pictured here are the New England Revolution's Taylor Twellman and Chris Albright, hard at work in Cancun as the Revs get some spring training for the MLS season by playing warm-up games against teams south of the border.

The Revolution had zero shots on goal in losing, 1-0. The only consolation is that the oceanfront Cancun hotel where the team's coaches are staying has a dispenser on the wall with upside-down bottles of tequila, rum, vodka, and scotch…

Captain Steve Ralston… insists that the trips are boring, that nobody's looking for that lost shaker of salt. "My wife's kind of jealous," he says with a grin. "She's home with three kids. I call her and tell her, 'Honey, it's not that nice here. It's been really windy. The fields are bad. The food is not that great.' "

"Yeah, the only good thing is that I'm elbow-deep in hot college poon.  I swear, these drunk bitches have got to be in heat!  Oh… miss ya honey!" 

[Blue Blooded Journo via sexy, sexy Kickette]