I don’t know where this international soccer match was held, or at what league level the game was played, but all I know is that this one broad goes all Dhalsim and just slaps and kicks everyone within a ten-foot radius of her. And then she gets chased through the village. It’s awesome that women’s sports is finding its way in these underdeveloped countries, especially as they’re chasing down one particularly militant woman through the streets to beat her senseless. via.
From the cult classic indie porn, Dong in Darkhole
Cowboys wide receiver Miles Austin threw himself a birthday party at AMPM in Dallas, which is apparently a night club and not a chain of gas station/convenience stores. Although a birthday at the local am/pm could be fun, too.
Anyway, Austin spared no expense on furry costumes and girls dressed as Playboy bunnies, proving that he not only listens to the sage words of owner Jerry Jones, but that he also respects the style of the dynastic Cowboys team of the 1990s. Ladies, to the private jet! We’ve got skyf-cking to do!
|images via NBC Dallas; see the full gallery there|
Urban Meyer met with high school coaches to speak at a clinic in Fogelsville, PA, and I’ll bet that it was much better than my last trip to the clinic, where The President caught a Q-tip right in his gullet. During the presentation, Meyer listed his five core values, including “Always show women respect.” Pfft, like I was ever gonna play for Florida, anyway:
He said that if he hears of one of his players hitting a woman, even if it’s in self-defense, the player is gone from the team. Period.
In fact, even if he sees someone not opening a door for a lady, “I’ll jump on a kid’s (bleep). That’s the way I was raised.”
Apparently there’s no core value against receiving blowjobs from Verne Lundquist every Saturday. Hey, maybe I’m cut for this Gator business after all. I mean, he’s no Rush Limbaugh, but my dad always said beggars can’t be choosers. Probably because he was always begging.
|Morning Call, via GameOn|
For the last two years, I’ve been at the Super Bowl, swindling my way into various parties so I can take pictures that don’t turn out well and tell stories no one’s really interested in. Turns out I can stay home, get better photos, and not waste my and your time recounting disappointing evenings. I mean, uh, WOOOO SUPER BOWL!!!!1!!!!11!!!
Anyway, these are photos from last night’s Gentleman Jack/GQ/Yardbarker Super Bowl pre-party, hosted by Terrell Owens. Aside from the banner image, we’ve also got the soul-sucking eyes of agent Drew Rosenhaus — yes, he has a Superman logo incorporated into a T-shirt of his own agency — and Darren Sproles, whose watch is slightly nicer than my Casio. BUT DOES IT HAVE A CALCULATOR? I think not. Winner: me.
Before Clinton Portis endeared himself to fans by creating such alter egos as Coach Janky Spanky and Sheriff Gonna Getcha, he was already beloved for his episode of MTV’s Cribs back when he played for the Broncos. Portis showed off a basement that featured a water bed, a jacuzzi, mirrored ceilings, and a stage with a stripper pole. (Perhaps a little more cheerful than soundproof walls and leg irons, but to each his own.)
These photos uncovered by D.C. Sports Bog (more if you follow the link), judging by the burgundy-and-gold motif, show that the stripper pole lives on — and gets its fair share of use — in Portis’s DC-area residence. Can’t say I’m really enthralled by the performance here. Definitely lacking in authenticity. Needs more body glitter and platform heels and mesh shirts. And hair that smells like bubble gum and cigarettes.
ChicagoSports.com published this photo from the boat party where Bears running back Cedric Benson was arrested for BWI and tased. As noted in the original post, Benson and the LCRA — water cops! — had strikingly different stories, with Benson's sounding like police brutality and the LCRA's sounding like dealing with an aggressive drunk. This photo, supposedly taken a few hours before the arrest, shows that Benson is clearly guilty of partying with his mother (center), Sun Chips, and — the most heinous crime of all — white girls. And, arrested for BWI and tased. As noted in the original post, Benson and the LCRA — water cops! — had strikingly different stories, with Benson's sounding like police brutality and the LCRA's sounding like dealing with an aggressive drunk. This photo, supposedly taken a few hours before the arrest, shows that Benson is clearly guilty of partying with his mother (center), Sun Chips, and — the most heinous crime of all — white girls. And, along with witnesses' reports, it's changing the way people are looking at the incident.
"I called my dad and told him, 'Call 911, my black friend is getting beaten up by police on Lake Travis,' " said Elizabeth Cartwright, 22, a friend of Benson's from the University of Texas. "It's more what I heard than what I saw. I have never heard or seen Cedric that scared."… She said her fiance also took dozens of photographs that help corroborate her claims. [...]
Cartwright, an English major at the University of Texas who is to graduate later this month, estimated she and her fiance had been boating with Benson six times this spring and each time a Lower Colorado River Authority boat pulled them over for a safety check.
One thing's for sure about this whole situation: it would be way more interesting if Benson was a semi-decent running back.
