U-S-A?

Chances are that before yesterday, unless you were a huge fan of the Summer Olympics in the 1990s, you had no clue who Suzy Favor Hamilton was, and that’s fine because you have a lot on your mind. Some people may remember her as the 1500m runner who intentionally fell during the women’s final at the 2000 Sydney Olympics because she was losing and she was a poor sport. Or maybe you remember her from this controversial Nike ad that was yanked during those same Olympics because people didn’t have a sense of humor back then either.

However, as you’ve probably seen in between stockpiling rations and digging a last-second bunker in your front yard, you could have gotten to know her very well this year for roughly $600 an hour. It turns out that the married mother was leading a double life as an escort in Las Vegas since last December, and of course I couldn’t wait three more days to write my Best Sports Moments of 2012 feature.

The Smoking Gun revealed this incredible story yesterday after a reporter had uncovered Hamilton’s unbelievable secret and confronted her with it.

“I take full responsibility for my mistakes. I’m not the victim and I’m not going that route,” Favor Hamilton said. “I’m owning up to what I did. I would not blame anybody except myself.” She added, “Everybody in this world makes mistakes. I made a huge mistake. Huge.”

HUGE! Like, while she was saying this, she should have been holding her arms as far apart as she possibly could or maybe just have been holding a sign that read: “HUGE!” in really huge letters. I mean, good golly, lady. A secret double life as a high end Vegas escort? If you’re that bored or depressed, get a puppy.

But I won’t pretend to play shrink to Hamilton’s chaotic brain, and I don’t have to because she ran off a series of Tweets yesterday explaining why she did this.

Read the rest of this entry »

That battered face above belongs to 26-year old professional poker player Sam Trickett, who claims on his Twitter account to be the most winning poker player in the history of Great Britain and Ireland. While that certainly seems to be a pretty bold statement, it helps that just three days ago he pocketed $10,112,001 for finishing second in the Big One for One Drop at the World Series of Poker. I assume that it must be pretty awesome to win $10 million by playing cards.

However, I also assume it is not awesome to get beat up by six men at one time. That’s the story that Trickett Tweeted just hours after he’d gone out to make his “organs hurt” in celebration.

According to Poker News Daily, this was apparently a random attack, as the men may have been disrespecting Trickett’s girlfriend, Natasha Sandhu. What kind of disrespecting might they have been doing? Well, I think they might have been hitting on her, because she’s kind of slightly attractive…

Read the rest of this entry »

No idea which MLB team that hat is for, but I think it's the Reds.

Ever since Mike Tyson started his one-man show in Las Vegas, he ‘s become Mr. Name Dropper on Twitter with all of the new celebrity and Vegas “celebrity” friends that he’s made. In fact, his Instragram looks like the Who’s Who of “Who? Oh, that guy… meh”. But that all changed last week when Tyson was visited by some first class royalty, as the King-in-Waiting of Pop Music and dick-drawer extraordinaire Justin Bieber swung by his crib to take in a brief boxing lesson (video after the jump).

For starters, it’s nice to see that the Biebz is now hanging out with the Vegas crowd, because that always ends well, but I imagine this encounter went a little more like this:

Bieber (watching The Hangover with his enablers): “I want to do that! Let’s do that!”
Enabler: “What’s that, you want to go to Vegas?”
Bieber: “No, I want to steal Mike Tyson’s tiger. Let’s do that.”
Enabler: “But it’s an incredibly vicious animal!”
Bieber: *slaps him, throws money in the air*
Enabler: “I’ll pull the Lambo around.”
Bieber: “Selena, I’m going to Vegas. I’ll be back later and we’ll have a lot of sex.”
Selena Gomez: *reading 50 Shades of Grey* “Sure.”

Read the rest of this entry »

Last year, the Internet’s legions of dude bros rejoiced as having a Twitter account finally paid off when NHL legend Wayne Gretzky’s daughter, Paulina, was happily posting revealing pictures of herself for all of us to… respect and admire. Well, the Great One – like most fathers of absurdly attractive 23-year old girls – didn’t think too highly of that and he forced Paulina to remove all of the questionable pictures from her Twitter. Sadly, we were forced to find pictures of half naked girls elsewhere. So difficult.

Thankfully, what Wayne may or may not have realized is that the Internet has like 6 billion sites devoted to allowing people to post their pictures, and in case he didn’t hear about it, the popular photo sharing site Instagram was just purchased by Facebook for $1 billion recently. So yeah, that’s a pretty popular site, too.

Hey, maybe Paulina is on Instagram, posting pictures of her recent trip to Las Vegas with her boyfriend and their friends. Maybe she’s posting pictures of herself in a bikini in interesting positions with people of both genders. Let’s just check and see if this completely hypothetical idea is true… IT IS. Well done, Mark Zuckerberg.

Read the rest of this entry »

Central Florida baller Marcus Jordan, son of that one guy who used to play for the Bulls, had himself a nice little visit to Vegas last week with brother Jeffrey and a fellow UCFer, junior point guard A.J. Rompza. Now, the important thing to remember about Vegas is that you have to go in on a budget…unless your dad happens to be Michael Jordan.

Marcus Jordan later posted on his Twitter account about the players’ visits to Haze Nightclub and Liquid Pool Lounge at Aria Hotel and Casino City Center.

“Last night was stupid,” Marcus Jordan wrote on his Twitter account. “… 35k at Haze… Totals 50k something the whole day.. Damn!! Going to the pool again today.. Gotta relax!” –Orlando Sentinel.

Hey, good on him. I’m sure he his dad has the money and that he’s showing his son the ins and outs of losing more money than most people make in a year. That said, I couldn’t spend that kind of money if I was there for a month. And paid rent. Oh, and I forgot the best part–Marcus is only 20 years old. Eh, whatever. It’s not like he was soliciting johns in the parking lot. As far as I know…

The World Series of Poker’s main event starts this weekend, and if you weren’t aware, I suggest you start bucking up on it. If not for the love of the game, then because the lovely lady pictured isn’t just your run of the mill, jaw droppingly gorgeous, bikini clad woman. She’s pornstar adult entertainer Samantha Ryan, and she’s competing in this year’s WSOP. Like Vegas wasn’t awesome enough already.

Anyway, no idea where we’re going with this except to say UB-sponsored poker playing porn star Samantha Ryan (Tea Bags and Tossed Salads) is here at the 2010 WSOP in Event #49 ($1500 NLH). Probably the first time she’s ever had a guy limp in behind her (nyuck nyuck nyuck). –WickedChopsPoker

Samantha is being sponsored by ub.net, which explains all of the logs. If my fictional company ever decided to sponsor a pornstar, we would have a different marketing strategy. A henna tattoo on her ass, for example. I’m not really the gambling type, but if I were, I’d bet on more people seeing her bare assed than clothed ass, so it’d probably be a good investment. Even Danica Patrick sells sex, and she looks more like a 13 year old boy than anything. Read the rest of this entry »