Enter the world of BEERCUP DRUNKEN FOOTBALL. At least, I think that’s what it’s supposed to be. It’s an Icelandic hybrid of soccer and mixed martial arts. The video was uploaded with the title “bearcup,” and I’ve listened to enough Bjork songs to put it together.

I’ll let you try to figure out what’s going on. It’s over three minutes of Icelandic dudes just whaling on each other for no reason, seemingly independent of any kind of soccer they’re playing. People get slapped, tripped, thrown, punched in the stomach and jumped from behind without any repercussions or points or anything, and the goalies are barely trying. Seriously, the goalies just stand there and kinda put their leg out whenever anybody tries to score. The f**k is going on with this game? The entire thing is set to the spectacularly NSFW sounds of Dope’s ‘Die Motherf**ker,’ so that should put it into perspective for you.

My theory is that a bunch of guys in Iceland wanted to have a gang rumble (Outsiders style) but Icelandic police (or whoever) were too strict and wouldn’t let it happen, so they came up with this weird, hyper-violent version of Calvinball to beat the ass out of each other as much as they wanted. Secondary theory: Iceland is weird, and some guys just really want to hit each other.

[h/t to Total Pro Sports]

Back in January, we shared with you a video introducing Minor League Baseball’s best (and possibly worst) idea ever: a Baseballtown All-Star Home Run Derby organized by the Reading Phillies to include a points-based obstacle course in the outfield, a party for fans in the infield dirt while the home run derby was happening and a jazz musician squatting and playing rockin’ acoustic guitar in front of home plate. I think we all assumed that between January and July, someone would go, “hey, let’s just do a normal home run derby and not kill anybody with baseballs”.

Thankfully, nobody said that. The Baseballtown Derby happened IN REAL LIFE earlier this month, and it’s almost as glorious as you imagined.

Highlights include pop-flies into the dinner party, a man with a baseball head and a monster’s body catching balls in the outfield and a guy on an ostrich getting pissed because he missed a line drive. Oh, and at one point a home run hits a dunk tank in the outfield and dunks a spectator. Who do we have to put in charge to get the MLB derby to look ANYTHING like this?

[via Reading Phillies on Facebook]

This video of motocross jumpers doing tricks over live MMA fights from last weekend’s ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 2′ event in Billings, Montana, is making the rounds today, and while there isn’t much to say other than “lol what is this dumb sh*t why is it happening” I thought I’d put together some helpful suggestions to make ‘Backflips And Beatdowns 3′ (date TBA) a little more engaging:

1. Have pro skateboarders grind the top of the cage while MMA fights are happening and motocross guys are jumping over them. “Powerman 5000 – When Worlds Collide” would make this especially awesome.

2. Rig the bikes so the exhaust sprays Baja Blast Mountain Dew on the fighters as it backflips. That’s probably a little degrading to the guys in the octagon, but these guys are cagefighting under the Montana X-Games so f**k them.

3. Fire hoops a’plenty.

4. Allow public masturbation, but only during the coolest parts. So, public masturbation from beginning to end. Suggestion 4B) Call the event ‘Backflips And Beatdowns And Beatoffs’.

5. Eliminate the landing ramp. Have riders jump directly into the cage, where they then have to fight their way out. Twist: The cage does not have doors.

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Tim and Hannah Witt, a happily married couple who may or may not be cousins, named their first son Tyde. Because they're fans of the Alabama Crimson Tide, you see. I know, I know: clever. So when Hannah got pregnant with another son, they decided to keep the theme going:

As early as mid-January, the Witts knew their second child was a boy, and they knew his name would be Saban.

That's right, Saban Hardin Witt… is named after Alabama head football coach Nick Saban.

They realize that this kid is named Saban for his entire life, right? He has yet to coach a team longer than five years. Right now the list of jilted former organizations that now despise Nick Saban includes the University of Toledo, Michigan State, LSU, and the Miami Dolphins. But apparently Tim and Hannah are okay with the notion of Nick Saban not being the next Bear Bryant.

"We'll tell our son he was named after one of the highest paid coaches in college football," the father said.

Holy shit, he said that without any irony. They grow 'em extra stupid down there. Maybe this Saban kid can form a support group with some older kids named Neuheisel and Barnett. 

(Story via Every Day Should Be Saturday)