Hey y’all!  Gather ’round the learnin’ screen!  Brett Favre done brought his practical jokin’ to them city slickers on the Jets!  Yee-haw!

[Linebacker Eric] Barton could not remember whether it happened last week or the week before. Nor did he know exactly what kind of dead animal Favre shot (presumably), bagged and dumped inside Barton’s locker.

Some teammates believe it was a wild turkey, but regardless, they all gathered around Barton’s locker and engaged in fits of laughter. The dead animal was inside a bag that was filled with blood and guts.

Woo hoo hoo!  Good one, Brett!  Oh man!  That was hiiiigh-larious the way he killed an animal and put the rotting corpse in his teammate’s locker!  That Brett, he just knows how to make a team come together.  Nothing lightens up a room like the smell of death!

[New York Times via Deadspin]

Yesterday I gave an interview to a reporter from the Washington Post.  It was ostensibly about how technology is changing the way athletes are perceived, but it really ended up just being another round of questioning along the lines of "Why are blogs so mean to these poor athletes?"

Needless to say, I could have been more tactful.  I was pretty aggressive about making it clear that I'm not a journalist (which ISN'T a bad thing), and I think at one point I mock-sobbed because millionaire athletes have it so rough, what with people saying mean things that hurt their feelings.  I'm not really sure.  I kinda blacked out.

One of the questions asked was, "What are your standards for moving forward with a story?"  And here's your answer: I publish things that I think readers will find interesting or humorous.  If I think something's bullshit, I say that I think it's bullshit.  If I can't confirm it, I say that I can't confirm it.  And if it's a waste of time, I don't publish it.

Take this photo, for example.  I don't really know the full story here, but it's devout Christian and Heisman-winning quarterback Tim Tebow, just moments before he SPIKED THE BABY INTO THE CONCRETE!  OH THE HUMANITY! YOU MONSTER YOU MONSTER!!!

[Busted Coverage] 

Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow — not even a junior but already a legend in Gainesville — added to his long list of feats when his missionary trip to impoverished towns in the Philippines included some impromptu work as a surgical assistant.  Specifically, he helped circumcise Filipino boys.

Tebow didn't plan on operating that day in the Philippines — his job was to preach to the hundreds of people before they had teeth pulled or cysts removed. But as the day rolled on, he grew curious about the three Filipino doctors and his friend, UF graduate and aspiring doctor Richard "R.B." Moleno, in the bus-sized vehicle that served as a mobile hospital.

Tebow started as a helper and gofer, holding tools and running errands for the medics. By afternoon, he was asking questions and looking for more active ways to help. And by the end of an exhausting day, he was wearing gloves and a mask, wielding surgical scissors, finishing off stitches with a snip.

"You could see he was really into it," Moleno said. "He thought it was cool. I'd make a stitch, he'd cut a stitch. He got his hands a little wet in surgery."

I guess some immature jerks would make of Tebow for wanting to get close to young Filipino boys' penises, but not me.  I think this was extremely noble and selfless.  I can't stand it when Filipino boys are uncircumcised.  It's like, sheesh, if they're gonna charge me 50 bucks for this kid, I want my money's worth.  Because there are some clean Thai boys down the street who are just as eager to escape poverty at any cost.

Back in January, this picture of Gators QB Tim Tebow with a brunette stacked like three Jenga towers set the Internet on fire.  Message board traffic was varied and unreliable (shocking, I know): she was Tebow's girlfriend, but they weren't having sex because of Tebow's devout Christianity.  Or she was actually dating someone else, which made her photo with Tebow a huge source of frustration for her boyfriend.

Bottom line: who cares?  She's back is all that matters…. or is she?  A mildly retarded tipster claims that this is the mystery girl having a dip "at the lake"… which isn't exactly the specific information I'm looking for, but that's not going to stop me from going to every lake in America to see if she's still there.  Other people might say this is pin-up Lucy Pinder.

Eh, I don't really care.  It's not like my penis discriminates.

UPDATE: Now that my heart rate is back to normal, some careful examination makes me think that this is probably Lucy Pinder, although I'm not 100% certain.  I suppose technically this should be some kind of embarrassment for me, but honestly?  I have no regrets whatsoever about posting this.  It pretty much made my day.

There's not really a whole lot I can add to the conversation here. That's 19-year-old Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow on the left, and on the right is his girlfriend (allegedly), a lady whom, uh…

Sweet Christ I can't concentrate with her on the page. How the hell does he make it to practice when the land of milk and honey is next to him in bed?

Okay, okay… [exhale] Let me compose myself and say something witty here:

I wanna lick 'em. No, that wasn't right. What I meant to say was, Nice cans. And by cans I mean jugs.

Also, to be fair, she has shiny hair and a pretty smile, and I'm willing to bet she smells good. Not bad for the school that ranked 11th out of 12 for hot girls in the SEC.

(Thanks to Sam at SLAM Online for the tip.)