I’ve been watching this GIF all day. It’s the closest that most of us will ever come to having the “Macho Man” Randy Savage drop an elbow on us. That is, until I prove my theory that he’s living in a cottage in Jamaica with Tupac and Jonathan Brandis. The Illuminati can try and hide them all they want, but I know how it really works. They did the same thing with Eddie Wilson, but he came back and led the Cruisers to glory once more.

Meanwhile, in pop culture references that more than 3 people will understand…

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Heading into last Saturday’s matchup between West Virginia and Texas Tech, most people expected that one of the quarterbacks was going to have a monster game and his team would win in a blowout, and that QB would be Heisman frontrunner Geno Smith. And as we know now, that was wrong. The real badass QB of the day was Seth Doege, as the Tech senior threw for 504 yards and 6 TDs in his team’s 49-14 thrashing of the then-No. 5 Mountaineers. But nobody cares about that anymore, thanks to that wonderful gentleman above.

The details of this Tracy Jordan-esque runner at Jones AT&T Stadium from this matchup are still mostly unknown. Some people claim to know the dum-dum’s name, but I don’t care about that. What I want to know is the important details, and thankfully when Scott MacWatters, the person who captured this incredible picture of the would-be streaker with a delighted police officer in chase, showed up on Reddit to take credit, one person asked the truly essential questions.

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Here are two sports-related stories that will hopefully make you feel a little better about humanity today.

First, that young lady in the banner pic is Nefeterius McPherson and upon first glance she may seem a little insane for wearing a West Virginia shirt at the Darrell K Royal – Texas Memorial Stadium, but she’s actually – cue the dramatic chipmunk – a Texas Longhorns fan. So what’s the deal, babe? Why would you insult your own team by wearing the opposing team’s shirt to a home game?

Because she’s awesome, that’s why. In 2005, McPherson was diagnosed with a rare liver disease and doctors told her that she would eventually need a transplant. Finally, she got the call that a match was found, and her new liver was coming from a 12-year old West Virginia girl who died from a brain hemorrhage… damn it, my sexy French maid forgot to dust again.

While she was relieved to have a match, McPherson said she struggled with knowing her organ donor was so young.

“How could I be happy about the transplant when I knew a family across town was mourning the loss of their child, their baby?” McPherson told the Charleston Gazette. “I really struggled with that. I still do sometimes. It’s bittersweet.” (Via the HuffPo)

And that’s where the WVU shirt and McPherson’s general awesomeness come into play.

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"Now you guys, just the chorus!"

In Friday’s Watch This, I wrote that the Ohio State-Michigan State game was one of very few exciting games this weekend, and I admittedly overlooked the West Virginia-Baylor game entirely, even though it was the other matchup of two Top 25 teams. And on Saturday, boy did I feel like a dick for that one. With the West Virginia Mountaineers (4-0) pulling out a 70-63 win over the Baylor Bears (3-1), it’s very safe to say that both teams gave us an early and presumably unbeatable candidate for Game of the Year. You know, unless McNeese State and UTSA in Week 11 is as exciting as I’m predicting.

In case you missed it, WVU QB Geno Smith became an instant Heisman frontrunner and eventual Jacksonville Jaguars draft pick as he threw for 656 yards and 8 touchdowns. Meanwhile, WVU receiver Stedman Bailey had 13 catches for 303 yards and 5 TD. At the same time, Baylor QB Nick Florence passed for 581 yards and 5 TD, with his No. 1 target, Terrance Williams, racking up 314 yards and 2 TD. If I were degenerative enough to play college fantasy football, this game would have been a wet dream come true.

But forget the guys who actually go on the field and entertain us while sacrificing their health, this is about the thousands of fans who experienced an incredible game live and stuck around to the end. How Mountaineers fans had any voices left to sing is beyond me, but their time-honored tradition of singing John Denver’s “Take Me Home Country Roads” sounded just a little bit better than usual this week.

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“Pregaming” was a big part of watching college football for me when I was in school, as I’m sure it was (or is, or will be) for you. If a nice, happy buzz for a noon kickoff is your thing, you’ve got to get your drink on by 8 or 9 in the morning. West Virginia University thinks that’s too much drinking for one morning, and instead would like you to pound your brews at the stadium itself, according to a proposal submitted to the school.

“We rely on our public safety folks to advise us, and they believe that there are two periods of binge drinking at our tailgates — one is pregame, when people quote-unquote get their buzz on, and then at halftime,” says [WVU athletic director Oliver] Luck, who admits his beer sales proposal may seem counterintuitive. “We can take care of halftime; we can’t really take care of pregame. And so we think that controlled sales will lead to folks feeling as though they don’t have to consume as much alcohol as possible” before entering the stadium.

The plan does permit students of age to drink, provided that they are not sitting in designated student sections. This actually makes some degree of sense if the beer sales are affordable and closely monitored, and it sounds like the Mountaineers are planning to satisfy both of those. Selling alcohol at the stadium itself also ensures that employees are trained to identify and deal with drunken behavior, as required by law pretty much everywhere. Naturally, not everyone is terribly impressed with this plan:

West Virginia’s alcohol sales fate could be sealed June 3, when the Board of Governors is likely to decide whether to rewrite established policy prohibiting alcohol sales in any WVU athletic venues. The logic of Luck’s proposal has been questioned in countless small-town newspaper editorials, yet it is supported by WVU’s president…

AthleticBusiness.com

If you’re a 21-year-old and you have the chance to buy beer legally at the stadium, would you do that instead of trying to cram all of your drinking in beforehand, or trying to smuggle a flask in your back pocket? I think you would.

I don’t know what could happen that would make you think leaving the middle of a game you’re in is a good idea, but West Virginia’s Danny Jennings felt that he couldn’t take sitting on the bench anymore and walked away. Maybe he got pissed that his jersey was misspelled again.

According to multiple reports, the reserve forward left the Mountaineers bench early in the second half of Sunday’s 56-46 victory over South Florida and did not return the rest of the game. An angry West Virginia coach Bob Huggins said in his postgame news conference that the absence was both “unexcused” and “inexcusable,” adding that Jennings is “never to be seen again, I guess.”

“I understand you have to report it and that’s fine, but can we talk about the guys who play?” Huggins said. “Because he didn’t play anyway. And hasn’t played.

“The truth of the matter is he’s been a non-entity. You know, we started him to try to get some other guys motivated and things, and he did work hard in practice for a while, but he hasn’t — I mean, look at his career stats. We didn’t just lose Kevin Jones. You know what I’m saying? It’s a sidebar.” -The Dagger.

Reading what Huggins said after the game, it seems like Jennings on the team wasn’t something that looked like it would work. Huggins seems like a guy that loves his players, and I mean loves his players, but he sounded like a pretty big ass with his comments. Then again, Jennings’ side of the story hasn’t been revealed yet, so it could be possible that what Huggins said about his failed attempts to get Jennings involved are true. I’m sure Jennings, who averaged about two points and two rebounds in eight minutes, will have no trouble finding another college program that will take his impressive scoring skills and determination.