This week has already been highlighted by “news” that includes people accusing Beyonce of treason for lip-syncing the National Anthem, Manti Te’o playing the “What would you do?” game with Katie Couric, and Sheryl Crow, of all people, being dragged through the mud over Lance Armstrong admitting that he used PEDs, so I think it’s safe to say that this is quite the slow news week. But then, that’s what happens when you let those lazy football players take an extra week off before the Super Bowl.

Speaking of slow news and football players, I’m sure you’ve already read Wes Welker’s wife Anna’s less-than-favorable comments about Ray Lewis after the AFC Championship Game, in which she encouraged people to check out his lesser moments on his Wikipedia page. Of course, Anna (maiden name Burns, which means “fiery when drunk” in Irish) has since apologized, and we’ve heard very little from Lewis himself, making this almost a complete non-story.

That is, unless… yes, I think that’s… OH MAH GAWD, THAT’S LINDA HOGAN’S MUSIC!

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Like Jeremy Lin Does The Dougie and “Teach Me How To Gundy” before it, this clip of Wes Welker, Patrick Willis and Larry Fitzgerald holding Dougie Dance-Offs at ProCamps youth football camps will be forever compared to that one time Kate Upton got bored at a basketball game and semi-Dougied on video.

Kate’s Dougie was named our #1 Sports Moment Of 2011 and has almost 8-million views on each of the 11-million YouTube accounts hosting a copy, but the Welker version has its own charm, namely watching a bunch of kids learn the value of teamwork and sportsmanship while dancing to a song containing the lyric, “And when I asked for some head da bitch looked at me funny, daaah!”

I know they’re dancing to the Kidz Bop version (all the “girls” love you, sure), but it’s fun to pretend. A +1 goes out to Welker for being the only pro taped dancing himself, and a +100 to the Kate video, which has once again taken 100% of my attention and is available below. It’s like an old friend.

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Normally, the New York sports media is the world’s greatest source for the most biased, sensationalized pseudo-journalism this side of, well, a sports blog. But the good thing about a New York team making a sports championship game or series is that the very same media at least digs to great depths to turn the most worthless dirt into news. As opposed to, you know, airing David Tyree’s catch ad nauseum.

Today’s big story is New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and a comment he made while addressing 25,000 Pats fans who showed up to a rally to send the team off yesterday.

“We have the greatest fans in America. You guys have proved that year in and year out with your support. I wish I could take all you guys to Indy with us. We’re going down there, and we’re going down there for one reason. We’re going to give it our best and hopefully we have a lot more people at our party next weekend.” (Via NESN)

BOOM! Suck on that, Giants fans! T-Bra is already planning a major wicked kick ass raging kegger next week at Gronk’s place, with more porn stars than even Evan Stone could handle. Wait, that’s actually a pretty harmless comment. So I’m guessing the New York journalism community didn’t go overboard with responses…

*looks at banner pic*

Haha, damn that’s good overreaction. What say you, Gary Myers of the New York Daily News? Do you have a good take that totally makes a mountain out of a butt chin mole hill?

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Patriots wideout Wes Welker was asked about his notorious foot fetish press conference on his way to his third Pro Bowl in Hawaii. Despite the fact that football fans were endlessly amused and insole products enjoyed a nice spike in sales, Welker insinuated that he would have kept mum.

Welker now sees an error in judgment. When asked specifically if he felt any regret for taking on the Jets in that manner, Welker responded: “Yeah, sure I do.”

Sitting at the airport in San Francisco, awaiting the second leg of his flight to Hawaii where he’s about to make his third Pro Bowl appearance, Welker took it from there.

“I’m not going to get into any details about it, but I don’t think it’s worth putting coach (Belichick) in that situation,” he said. “So in a sense, I do regret it. … As much as you might want to get enticed into that stuff, at the end of the day, it’s just not worth it.”

–Bahston Herald, via PFT.

I realize that I’m totally missing the point here, but can’t an NFL superstar get a direct flight from Boston to Honolulu? I’m not sure those even exist, and that’s probably a good thing. You just know some curly-haired sportswriter would drop a deuce in the first half hour of that flight and stink up the whole cabin. I know I would.

By now, images of the New York Post and Metro Boston weekend covers are everywhere, and it’s safe to say that both organizations have outdone themselves. The only thing I could add here is a snippet from Wes Welker’s press conference from yesterday. The Patriots wideout was asked about how his team would approach their third game of the season against the New York Jets and Rex Ryan, and Welker did not disappoint.

On Revis: “He’s got great feet.”

On practice: “You want to make sure you’re putting your best foot forward out there and making it happen.”

More on practice: “Us going out there and being good little foot soliders and making sure we’re going out there and doing everything coach asks us to do.”

–PFT.

Is this an AFC divisional round game or WrestleMania? One can only hope that the game is as entertaining as the week heading into it has been. I’m not holding out much hope, though. How many foot jokes does one hear during a football telecast? …Actually, that’s probably a positive.

UPDATE: It’s an ACL and MCL tear. That’s what happens when one’s ligaments are so gritty.

Wes Welker and his 122 receptions might be sitting on the bench for the playoffs after injuring his knee in the first quarter of the Patriots’ game with the Texans. NFL.com has reported that Welker will not return to the game.

New England had clinched the AFC East title and a playoff berth heading into today’s game, and were mathematically eliminated from first-round bye contention in the AFC playoffs.

Should Welker have been in the game? If you read what I had to say about the Colts, who were grilled by some fans and media when they pulled their starters last week against the Jets. The Colts played their starters for two-and-a-half quarters before suddenly yanking their headliners off the field. That’s not exactly “resting” their players, especially if one of them would have taken an errant cut in the first quarter, as Welker did.

The Patriots weren’t playing to kinda-sorta continue an undefeated season. The Patriots didn’t have a first-round bye in the playoffs. And the Patriots wouldn’t have been doing a disservice to their fans by keeping their marquee players in street clothes. But they didn’t. They went out and played the game The Right Way. It’s a damn shame they weren’t better rewarded for it.