People lift weights all the time, but THERE’S A LIMIT, FOOL. You just can’t go around lifting barbells that weight more than you do and then screaming like an idiot, because when that happens your sweet little brain [which hardly functions optimally as it is] gets deprived of oxygen, and then this happens. And I hope that, in the event that I pass out into a rack of dumbbells on camera, that the guy holding the camera isn’t a dumbbell, too. –Total Pro Sports.
About 75 of you have sent me this story about the Chilean Olympic weightlifter who didn’t realize she was preggers until she gave birth in the middle of a training session to a preemie. Elizabeth Poblete, who’s actually a 22-year-old Brazilian, gave the world a new innovation to the “snatch” event when she gave birth to a 2.5-pound baby boy last week.
“A week [before the birth], I acted as a judge in a competition in Chile and this girl was competing. All went well and she won the competition,” the AFP news agency reportedly quoted him as saying.
“I could see she was a big girl, round and strong. That’s all I noticed.” –NY Daily News, via everyone.
The baby boy is in ICU in a Sao Paulo hospital, and there’s no indication that anyone knows who the father is. I can’t imagine that there was a line around the block for a woman as big, round and strong as that. Although I wouldn’t mind to have a woman grab me and hoist me over her head right before achievement. Just once.
College Humor found video of this dude attempting to make America laugh again by lifting a barbell while standing on top of one of those big colorful workout balls. And I don’t get why that guy has his buddy bringing a video camera into the gym. And maybe instead of trying to climb onto a ball, try throwing some more weight on that bar and doing more than three freaking reps. HAVE YOU NO SHAME, SIR? I’d rather do steroids than work out with this guy…
Steroid testing paranoia has reached a fever pitch in Belgium, where the mere sight of doping officials at a bodybuilding meet caused competitors to flee and eventually forced the event to be cancelled. Thanks to OC for the heads-up. From the monolith:
A doping official says bodybuilders just grabbed their gear and ran off when he came into the room.
“I have never seen anything like it and hope never to see anything like it again,” doping official Hans Cooman said Monday.
During testing of bodybuilding events last year, doping authorities of northern Belgium’s Flanders region found that three-quarters of the competitors tested positive.
This begs another question: if everyone’s using, and everyone’s testing, why not just go clean? Forget about the merits of “not cheating” or whatever those prissy traditionalists are calling it now. If you didn’t use steroids, your competition has just been quartered. That’s a lot of logic for those Belgians, though. Though it doesn’t explain why anyone would pass on that delicious Belgian chocolate. Mmmm, chocolate.
This is a bunch of ways to mess with people in the gym. And while anyone who tries any of of these things in real life probably deserves to get hit in the throat with a 45-pound plate, I still like the video because I’m a stickler for gym etiquette and an opponent of meathead douchebaggery in the weight room.
Other ways to disturb people off in the gym: Ask another guy about his tattoos in the sauna. Wear shorts that are too short; stretch. Or my personal favorite: be an extremely old man, and walk around the locker room naked. Yeah, we get it: you’re old and stooped and have white back hair, and you’re comfortable with your naked body. Now put a towel around your waist.
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In retrospect, Hungarian weightlifter Janos Baranyai probably should have tried to snatch a little less than 326 pounds. Hee hee, "snatch"!
