Thanksgiving weekend is officially over, so now it’s time to get in the gym and work off all the gross shit you ate. I mean, you don’t have to do it NOW. You can wait until after Christmas. But eventually you’re going to look like one of the people in this workout fail compilation, and it’s going to be hilarious. (via Bob’s Blitz)

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Links

The 13 Images From Black Friday 2012 That Will Haunt Your Dreams |UPROXX|

Kenan Thompson Hates Kel Mitchell, Says Kel Mitchell |Warming Glow|

Memphis woman plans to marry a cardboard cutout of Edward Cullen |Film Drunk|

The Top 10 YouTube Comments For The Mark Sanchez Assface Fumble |With Leather|

Stealth Is For Losers: Check Out These Crazy ‘Dishonored’ Killing Sprees |Gamma Squad|

Harrison Barnes Presents The NBA Dunk Of The Year (So Far) |Smoking Section|

Fireman Ed: Missing in Action, Possibly Looking For A New Fandom |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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I probably don’t have to tell you this, but the World Weightlifting Championships were held yesterday in Paris, France, and when I think of freakishly strong people showing amazing feats of strength, I think of Paris, France. But easy jokes at the French’s expense be damned, because this event was about one weight lifter’s incredible personal achievement. That person is China’s Zhou Lulu and that achievement is breaking a world record for aggregate lifts to win the super heavyweight world title.

Lulu (above) lifted 146 kilograms in the snatch (hehehehe) and 182 in the clean and jerk (hehehehehehe) for a combined effort of 328 kg. The previous record of 327 kg was set in April at the European championships. I guess I should probably mention that Lulu is a woman, because the whole thing confused me quite a bit this morning.

What’s that, guys? You want to see more of Lulu and her competition at this year’s World Weightlifting Championships in the women’s super heavyweight division? Well, look no further, because these ladies are ready to put on a show.

(Recommended listening music here.)

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Normally posting videos of 9-year old girls isn’t something that we’re too into, not with “laws” and stuff, but every so often a child athlete pops into the picture and deserves some recognition. Nine-year old Naomi Kutin is becoming an Internet sensation since a video surfaced or her squatting 187-pounds recently. At only 88 lbs., Naomi’s physical strength is impressive, or at least it seems like it is, because the most squatting I did at 9 years was for picking up Nintendo cartridges to blow on them.

Naomi showed off her pint-sized power in a series of weightlifting challenges in Burlington, Vermont – state motto “Raw Liberty, Raw Power” – as she also put up 66-lbs. in the bench press and 193-lbs in the dead lift. All in all, these videos have really inspired me. Not to start working out more, mind you, but to find more videos of monkeys drinking their own pee on YouTube.

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There's strong, and then there's Army strong.  There's also retard strong and midget strong.  Any way you cut it, the U.S. Army is closely related to retards and midgets.  Hey, don't get mad at me.  I didn't write the ad campaign.  All three are very brave and stronger than you think.  Especially retards.

[Blog of Hilarity] 

My gym has clearly marked signs that restrict cell phone use to the lobby, yet inevitably some jackass on the elliptical will take a call to make sure that no, the meeting tomorrow at one o'clock tomorrow isn't soon enough, dammit.  These people are the most vile form of life I know, akin to rats, pigeons, and Steelers fans.

Which is why this video from 100% Injury Rate is bound to be my favorite thing all week.