Here’s (not) CM Punk marrying (not) Layla in a “WrestleMania wedding.” The people getting married have GREAT costumes, but those background people probably should’ve tried harder. Is Macho Man wearing a Carmen Sandiego hat? I think my favorite is John Cena guy, because of how easy his costume was. “Hey, you’re a white guy and kinda large, put on this t-shirt and some cargo shorts. BOOM, PERFECT JOHN CENA.”

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Christoph Waltz And Quentin Tarantino Also Win The Best Post-Oscars Memes |UPROXX|

In Which Anderson Cooper Discusses ‘Donkey Booty’ Vs. ‘Stallion Booty’ |Warming Glow|

A word from Mark Wahlberg about the ‘revolutionary new performance water’ he’s launching with P Diddy |Film Drunk|

Let’s Break Down The Pacers-Warriors Fight |With Leather|

Juliette Binoche And Four Other Reasons To Be Excited About ‘Godzilla’ |Gamma Squad|

Nicki Minaj In Pasties Is One Reason To Look Forward To French Montana’s “Freaks” Video |Smoking Section|

LOLNFL: NFL Combine 2013 |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

Read the rest of this entry »

Well hello, lovelies. I apologize for the delay in getting this column up. I had some work and travel issues (it was the blerst of drives!), so I had a fair amount to deal with before I could get to watching my new favourite episode of TNA ever. Before you find out why, let’s get a few things out of the way:

- If you’re not following myself, With Leather, or UPROXX on twitter, I encourage you to click the links for each. You can like the article on Facebook, you can tumbl about it, and you can apparently share it on Reddit. I went on Reddit once to read an AMA with Tim Donst, and that has been the extent of my experience, but I’m told it’s a good thing, so y’know … if you could.

- You should also read that AMA with Tim Donst. It’s pretty great. He talks about the time he tried to kill Hallowicked with a drill in a furniture store, otherwise known as one of my most treasured of Tim Donst videos.

- Like Brandon, I will be attending National Pro Wrestling Day to lose my mind over ACH in person, indulge in some Wrestling Bro high fives, and maybe try to hug Jervis Cottonbelly, because he is the best. If you can make it out, you definitely should. We’re good people in person, and again, ACH!!

Alright guys, let’s get to it. This week on TNA, it’s the wedding of the century, and nothing else matters except all of the other stuff I wrote about. Move over, Will & Kate! A Hogan’s getting married!

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m not married, but for the longest time my wedding bucket list has included:

1. Get married in a castle.
2. Get fired from my job on the day of my wedding.
3. At some point during the reception, the bride gets punched in the face.
4. Police are called more than once.
5. Lobster dinners are thrown.

In what might be the most hilariously European story ever reported, ex-Newcastle United player Danny Guthrie has lived my dream wedding. During his wedding to girlfriend Rebecca at Allerton Castle, an estate near Harrogate, Yorks, violence erupted, a guy tried to break down the door to get in and everything on that list happened. The lobster hurling is is like, 80-20 true. His Twitter says the story is “gossip gossip gossip”, but I’m moving forward believing he got married, had a bad day and watched his life turn into the last minute of any Three Stooges film.

Via the Telegraph, with a lobster-tip to Dirty Tackle:

Read the rest of this entry »

Beware all ye who tread beyond this image.

There are some days that I look up at the sky and wonder if the world really is coming to an end, and today’s not just one of those days. I think it’s the day that we’ve finally received an answer. Susanne Eman, the World’s Fattest Woman, is getting married. And of course it’s to a chef, because her story just had to get dumber.

Last year, we introduced you to Eman, who hails from Phoenix and had the aspiration of doubling her weight from 800-pounds to 1,600-pounds or 4/5 of a f*cking ton. Sadly, we later learned that doctors stepped in and told her that if she continued this ridiculous quest, she’d die before she ever hit her goal. So she stopped, and it seemed like her fame did as well.

Guess again, skinny britches! Eman’s back and she’s finally found love in a colonoscopeless place, and she’s adding one more world record notch to her equator belt – the world’s largest wedding dress. Give me the quote of the year, Huffington Post!

“I like an off-whitish, not completely white. Because if I wear completely white, I guarantee I’m going to spill something on it,” Eman told Inside Edition.

Just how big is the world’s largest wedding dress? 45 FEET OF MATERIAL! Her waist is 9 feet! Responded a naked child in Africa, “That’s cool, I’m good.” Let’s just hope that Eman never discovers Kate Upton’s Fashion Bridal Lingerie collection. *shivers*

Eman has also decided that her health is meaningless, because she now wants to achieve the status of the fattest woman ever. That record currently belongs to Rosalie Bradford, who died in 2006. I assume from natural causes.

I know what you’re wondering: “Does this classic American love story come with fries pictures?” You bet your ass. Maybe keep that Kate Upton link open just in case.

Read the rest of this entry »

People Magazine paid Kim Kardashian $1.5 million for the exclusive rights to publish her wedding photos in its latest issue, and I say that they only paid Kim because she’s the only person on the cover of this issue. Forget about that guy she married – New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries – because this isn’t about him. He’s just the dude who put the ring on her airbrushed finger.

But aside from the obvious, that this is just the first indication that Humphries is just along for a reality career that has been planned out slightly better than Paris Hilton’s, maybe there’s a perfectly good reason that only Kim, who is famous because she let Brandy’s brother mount her like a Shetland pony, appears on the cover of People’s wedding issue.

“It’s all about the bride. We wanted her. It’s her day, we wanted her on the cover,” said Garcia.

“He’s got a little height on her,” added Garcia of the New Jersey Nets forward. “It’s kind of tough to get them in the [same] shot.” (Via The Hollywood Reporter, which also points out that Arsenio Hall is still alive)

Translated: “We’re just saving some time and effort for her next wedding cover shoot.”

Whatever, it’s not like this is the first time that Kim has been on the cover of People without Kris…

Read the rest of this entry »

In case you weren’t aware, New Jersey Nets forward Kris Humphries married Kim Kardashian over the weekend, in a wedding ceremony that reportedly cost close to $18 million. Of course they didn’t pay for any of it themselves, because E! wants to be able to call everything they paid for an exclusive and that RU486 advertising money has to go somewhere. In all, I wish just one of the helicopters flying overhead had been loaded with napalm.

As The Superficial points out, it’s pretty bad that an $18 million wedding didn’t include first class airfare for the groom’s parents. Mom and Pop Humphries, as well as Kris’ sister Kaela, flew coach from Minnesota to attend the lavish wedding, and while I can’t prove it at all, I’m going to assume that Khloe Kardashian spent $1 million on a private jet to take her from the couch to the car.

But the biggest news from the weekend had nothing to do with the wedding. Instead, it’s all about how Kim became famous in the first place – porn. The website that hosts Kim’s infamous amateur sex tape experienced quite a boost in traffic.

Read the rest of this entry »