The best part of this is the “this isn’t real, someone is moving the baby’s chin” “of course it’s fake but it’s still a funny movie!” exchange in the comments. Second best part is that a viral video has been born of a guy hitting his baby in the throat.

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Links

Nike Basketball’s Black History Month Collection - If someone asks you, “why isn’t there a white history month?”, defriend and/or strike that person with your fist. [Smoking Section]

Six GIFs Of Jeremy Lin, The Most Surprisingly Exciting Player In The NBA Right Now - Why isn’t there an Asian history month?? (But no, seriously, this guy might be my new favorite player.) [Buzzfeed]

Girl At Giants Super Bowl Parade Can’t Wait to See Mark Sanchez - Is it Kim Kardashian? Because if it is, nobody correct her. [Brobible]

Here’s A Video Montage Of People Unplugging The TV At Crucial Points During The Super Bowl - … followed by “sh*t kids crying kids being taped by their parents because the team they like lost and love and dignity no longer exist say”! [UPROXX]

12 Famous People You Didn’t Know Were in Movies You’ve Seen - I want to know what person remembers Mumford but doesn’t remember that Zooey Deschanel is in it. How is there another circumstance for having seen Mumford? [Pajiba]

‘Can You Draw CatDog Pooping?’: 13 Fascinating Non-Celebrity Reddit AMAs - This is cool and all, but for some reason I think it’d be weirder to watch Doug poop than CatDog. And Moose from ‘You Can’t Do That On Television’. [UPROXX]

Television Sitcoms’ 10 Best Signature Dance Moves - We live in a sad, sad world where The Carlton ranks behind something from ‘Scrubs’. I may never have children. [Warming Glow]

The New Trailer For The Amazing Spider-Man Is Right Here And It Is Awesome - I can’t for the reboot in three years where Aunt May is like 35 years old and Eddie Brock is a gay Latina teen. Reboot! Reboot! [Gamma Squad]

This Week In Posters - Honestly? I don’t think I’ve liked a movie poster in years. The last one I bought was Let The Right One In. [Film Drunk]

The Maria Menounos Super Bowl Bikini Bet: A Retrospective - In case you missed it, please take a look at yesterday’s best torso. Mario Lopez was there! [With Leather]

Best Weatherman FAILS - Capital letters! If there’s one thing the Internet can agree on, it’s weather graphics that look like a penis. [HuffPost Comedy]

Awards Season GIFs: Get To Know The People Behind Your Favorite Internet Memes - An interview with strangers who made gifs. We’re through the looking glass, people. I wish the interview was just “So how do you know when to make gifs?” “I don’t know, I guess when I see something funny.” [Moviefone]

Ace-ish pitcher Roy Oswalt has left the Philadelphia Phillies for personal reasons. Oswalt was a no-show in the clubhouse after his 5-7 loss to the Arizona Diamondbacks on Tuesday, and a team official made the announcement of his departure earlier today. The specifics are still a little vague.

The team does not know when Oswalt will return and did not detail why he has departed.

When asked if Oswalt would be back for his next scheduled start Tuesday, Phillies general manager Ruben Amaro Jr. answered vaguely … “We expect him to be back.”

Oswalt left the Astros last Spring when a tornado destroyed his childhood home in Weir, Mississippi, and over the last two days a band of tornadoes and storms have moved through Choctaw County, where Oswalt was raised and resides. Another theory is that Oswalt has been struggling with mid-back spasms and has seen his effectiveness ravaged. Another theory is that it’s personal and none of our business. But this is a sports blog! Everything is our business!

Regardless, we wish Oswalt the best, and hope that he’ll either be able to work through his issues or buy and read a book about how tornadoes work.

Read the rest of this entry »

NBA star Chris Bosh did the weather for some Toronto-area station. He’s holding a basketball so that you know that he plays in the NBA, and can sell you weed just as soon as we go to commercial. You see this H right here? That stands for high.

So, maybe you heard that it rained in St. Louis last night, giving the lifeless Tigers a temporary reprieve from Game 4.

Rainouts are part of baseball's charm, a testament to the sport's representation of sunny, whimsical American summers. On the other hand, well… it's kind of gay. As much I like baseball as part of the American sports landscape — and as a vehicle to get drunk on $6 beers — the rainout has always pissed me off. Even worse: the rainout as news. Hey, sports journalists: they didn't play the game. There's nothing to report! Give us a two-sentence blurb that tells us when it's been rescheduled, then go home early. It's that easy.

The only time a rainout in St. Louis is interesting is when this happens:

This was on Deadspin earlier this summer, but I think it's topically relevant here. Not that I have to justify anything as awesome as this. Sometimes nature really kicks ass.