I spent a good chunk of time yesterday sifting through images from Games 1 and 2 of the Los Angeles Lakers and Dallas Mavericks series after I read that directors McG and Brett Ratner were sitting with each other, because I figured that photo would be a goldmine for FilmDrunk, if not us. But the gods did not favor me this time, friends, as all I could find was one image of Brett Ratner throwing up the peace sign or, more likely, ordering two trays of cheeseburger nachos. But I came across the image above, and I sat still for a moment and wondered: 1) Who the hell is that blonde? and 2) Aw, her grandfather took her to a game.

The blonde is 25-year old Danish model Amalie Wichmann, and you can view plenty more of her over at Ted Williams’ Head, as they did a great job showcasing her assets. That’s not her grandfather, though, and I’m sure that most Lakers fans – and probably most diehard NBA fans – know that leather pants lothario as James Goldstein. As I’ve only ever referred to him as “that old leathery cowboy who looks like the old guy from Poltergeist” I thought I should take a look at who he is, what he does, and why he’s hanging out with breasts that seem to mock Isaac Newton.

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Yesterday, celebrity gossip morons across the Internet “reported” that golfer and orgy enthusiast Tiger Woods was selling his massive yacht, “Privacy”, for $25 million. Tiger’s smoking hot ex-wife, Elin Nordegren didn’t want to keep the yacht as part of her ridiculous divorce settlement because Privacy costs more than $2 million a year to maintain, with a permanent staff of 13 people having to constantly stain guard and Febreze. I’m guessing she also didn’t want the constant reminder of all of the Shoney’s hostesses and meth-addled porn actresses, of whose poopdecks Tiger swabbed on the Privacy. Also, Tiger doesn’t need to keep the 155-foot yacht because he just bought a new one. Man, I hope he overcomes all of these problems someday.

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