Check out how excited that Harvard bro is after his Crimson upset the No. 3-seed New Mexico Lobos yesterday in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. Better yet, check out young Megyn Price next to him, being all, “Cool it, dweeb.” You cool it, young Megyn Price. That man is a big ball of pure joy and he has every right to be.
This is the NCAA Tournament, dammit. This is one of the greatest platforms in the world for college fans to truly humiliate themselves through showing nothing but unbridled enthusiasm. I’m happy for you, Harvard bro. I hope the Stansbury of the East keeps winning and we get even more of you. You’re an Alabama fan for the Ivy League.
This is Obama's bracket. We have the same Final Four and champion. I am the new president.
So what’s on TV tonight for the sports fan? Who the hell knows? Who even cares? A lot of people have a long day of pretending like they give a crap about the NCAA Tournament and, more specifically, a bunch of teams featuring players they’ve never heard of, because there’s most likely gambling involved. So let’s be realistic about what’s going to happen tonight with a little GIF storytelling about how the average Joe’s evening will play out.
And then you can tell me how how accurate this is.
One of the biggest surprises of UFC 158 on Saturday night was Jordan Mein and incredible first round TKO over the veteran Dan Miller, although the UFC’s newest welterweight prospect is hardly a rookie. Mein has been fighting professionally since the age of 16, when he made his debut against another UFC welterweight rising star and super hipster, Rory MacDonald. But still, to win in the first round of his first UFC fight like Mein did was inspirational at the very least, and he’s already looking ahead.
According to MMA Junkie, Mein has a list of every welterweight in the UFC on a whiteboard so he can cross each one out as he knocks them off.
I’ve enjoyed Larry Sanders and his efficient productivity on my fantasy basketball team for most of the season, despite the fact that I’ve struggled to a 9-9 record in our league of fancy-pants cool guy bloggers thanks to a worthless Derrick Rose gamble and losing Rajon Rondo for the season. But in order to pretend like I’m upset, I’d have to also pretend like I paid attention, and I’m still suffering from fantasy football burnout, so… DOOOOOOOOON’T CARE.
NBA: Mavericks at Spurs – 8 PM ET on TNT NBA: Knicks at Blazers – 10:30 PM ET on TNT
I haven’t watched the clip of Kobe Bryant hurting his ankle yet, not because I don’t care but because I’m stubborn and I hate when the first thing I see in the morning is a bunch of people arguing on Twitter about sports news. That said, Lakers fans, welcome to Dwight Howard carrying the burden. You won’t enjoy it.
TNA Impact Wrestling – 8 PM ET on Spike
I’m actually eager to watch to see how Brooke Hogan keeps playing this “My heart is really broken” angle. Seriously. It’s hilarious.
Bellator: Road to the Championships – 11 PM ET on Spike
I started watching this two weeks ago and I’m thoroughly enjoying it. I haven’t picked a favorite yet, but I’m leaning toward whoever beats everyone.
NCAA Basketball: B1G First Round – 6:30 PM ET on ESPN 2 NCAA Basketball: ACC First Round – 7 PM ET on ESPN U NCAA Basketball: Big East First Round – 7 PM ET on ESPN
Enjoy the last of quality Big East tournament play while it lasts, folks.
With a little more than a week remaining until the 2013 NCAA Tournament tips off, it’s important for people to start determining where they will watch their favorite teams. Or in my case, I need to figure out where I’m going to pretend that I’m a huge Duke and/or Indiana fan, since my team decided to get banned from postseason play this year. Eh, who am I kidding? I pretend to be a Duke fan every year.
Anywho, as usual I am leaning toward watching sports in the comfort of my home away from home, Rick’s Cabaret in New York City. Some people may try to argue that I’ve never been to New York City and that I’m afraid of talking to women, but they’re just haters. Anyway, my girls at Rick’s are all fired up to watch Duke, Indiana or whichever team I end up cheering for win the NCAA Championship.
Alas, it’s a bad week for UFC fans, as we don’t have any child po… er, I mean mixed martial arts to watch. Sorry, I was channeling my inner Steve Hickey there. That guy loves talking about child pornography. So what shall we do instead? Well, I’m gonna go sit ringside at this Chikara event tomorrow night in Orlando, while you all can watch this stuff…