So, if this MMA show from Russia is something that is actually happening, I’d say we’re roughly five or maybe six years away from The Running Man becoming an actual TV show. And I, for one, think it’s about time. There are a lot of prisoners out there who deserve a second chance as our jails are wildly overcrowded, so if they can get past Dynamo, Subzero, Buzzsaw and Captain Freedom, then I say they deserve a shot at life outside of captivity.

Of course, they have to live in Canada, but either way I think this show has real staying power.

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With just two weeks left until the 2013 NFL Draft begins, we’re in desperate need of a talking head who can tell us all about what a quarterback needs to succeed in professional football. But it can’t just be any person with a mouth and pulse, it has to be someone who possesses that uncanny ability to talk to us like we’re complete morons. And for good measure, let’s make sure that person has a knack for starting every description of a man with “This guy right here…”

Haha, just kidding! We have Jon Gruden, the one-time Hooters cook who collects big ass paychecks to interrogate college QBs entering the NFL Draft about their skills and mental toughness in a way that makes us, the viewers, feel like we’re watching The Muppets. I, for one, am glad to have Gruden’s QB Camp in our lives, today at 5 PM ET on ESPNU and 7 and 7:30 PM ET on ESPN 2 just in case you’re running through a really long airport or train station and miss the first two.

Also, it’s the only show on TV that gives us faces like this…

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I’ve seen Field of Dreams close to 100 times, probably, and every time I still imagine that scene ending with a loud fart. I think that just pulls the curtain back a little more on what kind of person I am. Except it’s not a curtain as much as it’s a couple bath towels thrown over some fishing line that we tied from hooks at both ends of the room.

“Bros, I put a pink tie on the doorknob,” I’d shout as Boner and Tank returned from Nickel Jello Shots at McNasty’s Wet T-Shirt Night. But they wouldn’t listen. They’d never listen. Anyway, Field of Reams is still one of my favorite porn parody names of all-time.

Welcome back, baseball.

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Obviously, like a lot of American men between the ages of 13 and however old I am, I adore Kate Upton. But when my best friend RoboPanda (category: GammaSquad) sent me the above video of Upton in a Gillette ad, I wasn’t expecting that laugh. Is that her real laugh? Because, yikes.

Either way, congrats to Upton on Justin Verlander’s new MLB record payday. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but she better lock that down.

As for this weekend’s sports action, SPOILER ALERT: It’s all NCAA Tournament action. Even though Indiana destroyed my hopes last night. That’s important to note, because I’m the only person in America who picked Indiana to win it all. Crazy, right?

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This has already been one hell of a strange NCAA Tournament, with my bracket’s Elite 8 missing just one team, and yet I have no chance of winning my pool. Oh, and I suppose it’s also strange because you have Florida Gulf Coast University as the first 15-seed to ever make the Sweet 16 after humiliating No. 2 Georgetown on Friday night. But obviously we all care about my bracket more.

Soon we’ll watch a “One Shining Moment” video montage that will feature the stars of FGCU’s Dunk City and La Salle’s whatever it is they do, as well as poor Gonzaga alum John Stockton up there, as he pouted to Gonzaga’s 76-70 loss to Wichita State on Saturday night. Poor, John. Nothing good ever happens to him.

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Check out how excited that Harvard bro is after his Crimson upset the No. 3-seed New Mexico Lobos yesterday in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. Better yet, check out young Megyn Price next to him, being all, “Cool it, dweeb.” You cool it, young Megyn Price. That man is a big ball of pure joy and he has every right to be.

This is the NCAA Tournament, dammit. This is one of the greatest platforms in the world for college fans to truly humiliate themselves through showing nothing but unbridled enthusiasm. I’m happy for you, Harvard bro. I hope the Stansbury of the East keeps winning and we get even more of you. You’re an Alabama fan for the Ivy League.

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