UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
*deep breath*
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
*throws brick through TV*
UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH.
I always thought it would be for Cheetos.
Ouchtown, Population: Bryce Harper. The Washington Nationals should not, according to closer Rafael Soriano and most people with working eyeballs, have lost their fourth game in a row to drop their record to .500 last night. They should not have blown their ninth-inning lead and allowed a triple to Gregor Blanco, but they did because 20-year old phenom Bryce Harper caught a case of alligator arms and turtle defense near the wall.
Soriano didn’t quite appreciate that either.
“It may not have been a catch-able ball, but if we’re positioned the right way, there might have been a different outcome. With two outs, I could tell my four-year-old son, ‘You know where you need to play,’ and he would have positioned himself better. It’s not an excuse, and I’m not speaking badly about anybody, but I think that’s how you play the game.” (Via USA Today)
Um, yeah dude, you are speaking badly about Harper. You’re saying your four-year old could make a play that he didn’t. So have fun backing off of that one later and make sure to buy the guy’s dinner when he hits a few walk-off shots this season. Meanwhile, the Brewers should sign his son and make him prove it.
Oklahoma City Thunder star Kevin Durant has reportedly pledged $1 million to tornado relief through his family foundation. I think that’s pretty awesome.
Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Matt Kemp is also donating $1,000 for every home run he hits between now and the All-Star Break. I think that’s pretty awesome, too.
More people be awesome, please.
Randy Poffo, AKA Macho Man Randy Savage, passed away two years ago to the day, so I thought I’d honor him with his touching rap tribute to “Mr. Perfect” Curt Hennig, as someone dubbed it over his classic highlight reel. I wouldn’t have remembered unless the SI Vault Twitter feed reminded me of Randy’s classic photo from his days as a St. Louis Cardinals minor leaguer. Why I’ve never ordered a customized Poffo jersey is beyond me.
As a Cardinals fan, I’m supposed to be classier and more intelligent than other baseball fans, but in this regard I seem to have really missed the mark. I’ll work on that.
Like most guys, I’m obsessed with gadgets and tech crap, and I’ll look for just about any reason in the world to buy something that’s new and has all the cool kids raving. I spent about 30 minutes reading up on the GoPro camera recently, trying to figure out if I had any reason in the world to buy one. I had no reason at all, it turns out.
I’m not active enough, unless people are dying to see me swim five laps in my pool or suck at golf, so it would just sit on my shelf and collect dust like my Harvard diplomas. And after watching the above video, I’m pretty sure that I’d be killed by a bear just by owning one.
In case you missed it, Toronto Maple Leafs fans had their hearts ripped out of their chests on Monday night, as Leafs goalie James Reimer probably caused quite a few awkward exchanges between his wife, April, and Elisha Cuthbert. After the Leafs jumped out to a seemingly insurmountable 4-1 lead in the 3rd period, Reimer allowed the Boston Bruins to score 3 goals in 10 minutes to send Game 7 into overtime.
Then, the unthinkable happened, as Patrice Bergeron, the man who scored the game-tying goal with less than one minute to go in regulation, scored the game-winning goal, crushing Leafs fans’ spirits and sending them into another offseason of sports fan misery.
Alas, that didn’t stop Penguins fans from having fun with Leafs fans, like in the image above. Go ahead and open the box after the jump.
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