Just like the Jacksonville Jaguars, the Pro Bowl had to tarp sections to avoid a blackout.

The 2012 Pro Bowl took place yesterday, in case you were glued to TNT’s broadcast of the Celebrity Drinking Contest annual SAG Awards, and it was basically everything you would expect, as the AFC defeated the NFC 59-41. The defenses played down, allowing the offensive players to do their things, and that’s why Philip Rivers only had one interception, instead of the standard 7. But I also commend rookie Can Newton for selflessly getting the defense involved by throwing 3 picks as well.

The star of the game, though, was Miami Dolphins wide receiver Brandon Marshall, who had 6 receptions for 176 yards and a Pro Bowl record 4 touchdowns, as he scored once in each quarter. Of course, the controversial wide receiver’s moment in the figurative sun didn’t last long as he eventually opened his mouth.

“Since Jay Cutler I’ve had a few different quarterbacks and being in the Pro Bowl you have these elite quarterbacks and it’s all them,” he said. “They put [the ball] in the right spots and make it easy for me to make the catch. It’s all the quarterbacks.” (Via the Miami Herald)

While he’s right – in the last two seasons, he’s had four QBs in Matt Moore, Chad Henne, Chad Pennington and Tyler Thigpen – some have misconstrued Marshall’s words as an attack on Moore. That would be true if the Dolphins hadn’t already made it clear that they’re looking to upgrade at QB. But I digress. At least the Pro Bowl gave us something to talk about.

In the meantime, people will continue to question the need for the Pro Bowl, and those people need to shush. The Pro Bowl is great for what it is – a chance for guys who get their asses kicked for 18 weeks to f*ck around and have some fun. The NFL just needs to move it back to after the Super Bowl so the players from the eventual championship team can attend and remind all of the other players how much worse they are. That’s the true NFL spirit.

Now enjoy some of the game’s best moments before everyone goes back to airing David Tyree’s catch over and over for the next 6 days.

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On a day when sports news is dominated by child molestation, I’d like to lighten the mood a little by presenting two sports guys who can’t stop calling people names on the Internet.

The first, former Tampa Bay Buccaneers and Oakland Raiders defensive tackle Warren Sapp, reacted to yesterday’s release of New England Patriots defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth by calling Albert a turd. Exhibit A:

When Belichick gave Haynesworth a chance this season, Sapp figured he might be the only coach left who could get Haynesworth to increase his level of play after two disastrous years with the Redskins.

“If anybody can, [Belichick] can,” Sapp told NESN.com. “The last thing you want to do is show up and be a turd that Belichick cuts. But that’s what he was.”

Exhibit number 2 (cough):

“So when Bill got him — I love Belichick, I love that defense, I love everything about the man — but you can’t make a turd out of something that he’s not. He’s a turd.

You can read the entire interview with Sapp over at NESN, but that’s the digested meat and potatoes of it. Warren Sapp, a guy who would never let money motivate him to do something like dance alongside Kim Kardashian and Jefferson from ‘Married … With Children’ on a gameshow, calling Albert Haynesworth, a man who would never do something for the wrong reasons (like slide his credit card down a woman’s cleavage), feces.

The second incident of the day comes from Stephon Marbury, a man who identifies himself openly as a PEACE STAR, ripping Michael Jordan in a way not too dissimilar from Tracy Morgan as Harry Belefonte on SNL calling Osama Bin Laden an Uncle Tom:

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It must be so hard for Warren Sapp and Michael Phelps to get all the attention they so desperately crave.  I can see how all the endorsements and TV appearances and paparazzi photos and media blurbs just aren’t quite enough.  Sometimes, you just have to go to a swanky South Beach hotel and have a loud conversation that everyone can hear before taking over the entire pool for a race.

You can watch TMZ’s video (“article” here), but I guarantee you’ll only end up asking yourself, “Why did I just waste that time?”  Doing actual work is more enjoyable than watching this as a diversion from work.

On a side note, more people watched this race in person than the GMAC Bowl last night.

ABC will subject us to yet another season of "Dancing with the Stars," and as usual there are several athletes in the lineup of contestants.  Former NFL star/current lardass Warren Sapp will join Olympic gold medalists Maurice Green and Misty May-Treanor on ballroom dancing's most televised stage. 

A record 13 dancers will compete on the show. Included are the program's youngest dancer ever — 18-year-old Cody Linley of the popular Disney Channel show "Hannah Montana" — and its oldest, 82-year-old actress Cloris Leachman.

Others contestants include singers Lance Bass and Toni Braxton, Emmy-winning soap actress Susan Lucci, reality-show participant Kim Kardashian, television actor Ted McGinley, chef Rocco DiSpirito, television personality/model Brooke Burke and stand-up comedian Jeffrey Ross.

Wow, that's impressive.  Some of these people I've actually heard of before.  We're talking D-List, even C-list celebrities.  Why, in another three or four seasons, there might even be genuine stars on this show.