–via Chicago Tribune

Soccer players have been notorious for having some of the hottest WAGs in the world, but they usually don’t need help from Facebook. Chicago Fire defender Krzysztof Krol was crowned the grand master of Facebook when he recently started dating Playboy model Patrycja Mikula. How did he score such an awesome date? He got her phone number off her Facebook page. Take it from here, Puppet LeBron.

And here I was, thinking that looking for love on the internet was for pederasts and ugly people. The two Poles certainly made me look stupid, when they were married at Chicago’s City Hall earlier this week.

Fire defender Krzysztof Krol called the phone number on Patrycja Mikula’s Facebook page in May even though he’d never met the Playboy model. Less than two months later, Krol and Mikula were saying “I do.”

The Polish couple got married on Thursday at Chicago’s City Hall, seven weeks after they began dating. They plan on having a church wedding in Chicago in December after the Major League Soccer season. –The Chicago Tribune via Sports Illustrated

Call me old fashioned, but marrying a girl you’ve only known for seven weeks has to be one of the worst ideas of all time. Although, if I was playing in the MLS, I wouldn’t be comforted knowing that she wasn’t going out with me for the money. I don’t think the guys on Real Salt Lake could swing the VIP booth at Applebee’s. The article also explains how the two have already gotten their significant other’s name tattooed on their left arm, and how Patrycja’s ex is former UFC Heavyweight Champion Andrei Arlovski.

Normally, marrying your seven week girlfriend you met on Facebook, who happens to be the ex-lover of guy who beats the shit out of people for a living, would be a questionable life decision. Not when the girl in question looks like this. Then it’s probably the best idea of all time. She should consider modeling Bad Idea Jeans, but thinking of good ideas for Bad Idea Jeans makes my head hurt. Their first ad campaign after the jump. Read the rest of this entry »

She's the front runner. I wonder why...

There’s never really a bad time to post a picture of a scantily clad beautiful woman, but this time, it’s actually relevant. The gambling site Paddy Power has joined forces with the newspaper The Irish Mirror to combine man’s most heated passions: sports, beautiful women, and nonsensical competition, into the greatest idea of all time. Betting on the wives and girlfriends of World Cup players. The front runner? Ms. Irina Shayk, the above-pictured girlfriend of Christiano Ronaldo.

The betting house Paddy Power has teamed with the Irish Mirror to allow wagering on the wives and girlfriends of World Cup players.

Irina Shayk, the girlfriend of Cristiano Ronaldo is the 9-4 favorite to be voted overall sexiest while Abbey Clancy, girlfriend of Peter Crouch, is 5-2 and the favorite for best legs. –USAToday

The categories up for wager include: best legs, grumpiest WAG, sexiest WAG, best smile, and most stylish. I can think of about a hundered things I’d rather gamble on than “most stylish,” and I’d list them if I still wasn’t confused about seeing that Abbey Clancy is linked to Peter Crouch. Peter Crouch is the Greg Ostertag Luc Longley of the EPL, and should certainly not be with the heaven-sent mirage that is Abbey Clancy. “But Ryan,” you say. “Isn’t someone’s inner beauty more important than their physical attractiveness?” Not if you look like Abbey Clancy. She could drown a litter of puppies right in front of me, and all I’d be able to focus on was having sex with her. More WAGs after the jump because, hey, you deserve it. Read the rest of this entry »

Abigail Clancy is an English lingerie model who is allegedly engaged to England soccer royalty Peter Crouch. In 2006, while England was competing in the World Cup, Abbey showed up in the tabloids in pictures of cocaine parties and with rumors that she was nailing an ex-boyfriend. This became a huge distraction to Crouch and his teammates, so he dumped her by fax and she was sent home humiliated. Since they’re back together for the 2010 World Cup, England’s manager Fabio Capello has instituted a strict limited sex policy for his team, which means all WAGs (wives and girlfriends) need to stay the F home.

In order to make sure his players aren’t canoodling with their women or the local trollops of South Africa, Capello has ordered the installation of high-tech TV sets in each player’s room at the team’s $677 million base camp. The TVs will allow Capello to check in on his players at any time, as he can secretly watch their downtime or he can contact them openly through the sets. Needless to say the players aren’t too pleased with this development, as they’ll actually have to use their hands for something.

Oi guvna, fetch me the deal, wouldya, Asia One News:

The news has not gone down well with the stars. A source close to the squad revealed: “It’s going to be like Big Brother. The hotel rooms used to be the place we all escaped to, now they’re not safe.”

The news comes after it was revealed that Capello has banned all WAGs from joining the World Cup party, and told his players that they can hook up with their loved ones only once a week. The 63-year-old is desperate to avoid a repeat of the last World Cup in Germany, where the WAGs’ boozy antics were blamed for ruining the team’s chances of glory.

Oh poor athletes only get to have sex once a week. I know bloggers that are happy if they get it once a year. Capello has made it clear to the WAGs and player families that they will receive no help in finding lodging in South Africa, as opposed to past World Cups. The WAGs aren’t taking the news very well, accusing the team of purposely keeping them away. When asked for comment, British Naval leader Captain Obvious just shook his head.

Meanwhile, Capello will bring his wife and his son to South Africa to stay with him, and I won’t spoil anything for you, but it ends with, “The Aristocrats!”

Turtle from Entourage bagged this

It must be nice to be an NFL quarterback. Millions of dollars, an Adonis-like physique, and (with the exception of The Ben) beautiful women throwing themselves at you at every opportunity. Such is the life of Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez, who has recently been linked to Sopranos star Jamie Lynn Siegler.

So Mark meets Jamie..Jamie likes Mark..Mark likes Jamie..Us Magazine reports they’re dating after three days..then the New York Post reports Jamie and Mark are just friends..Who cares..we know what Dirty Sanchez likes to do with his lady friends..Well, maybe they are F-buddies, because why else would Sanchez attend Jamie Lynn’s birthday on Saturday Night..According to Page Six spies they “definitely looked more than friends,” and Mark had dinner with two other couples which def means something..–TerezOwens

It still boggles my mind how Jamie Lynn was nailed by the guido hobbit himself, Jerry Ferrera. She was probably mesmerized by his ability to acting skills. It must be difficult to play a stubby, stoned, mooch who hangs out in mansions all day. He’s like Gergory Peck, except short, fat and bearded. Jamie shows off her acting (/coughs sarcastically) after the jump.
Read the rest of this entry »

American figure skater Evan Lysacek just won a gold medal in singles in Vancouver, but he’s had something a lot prettier hanging around his neck lately–Olympic gymnast Nastia Liukin. Liukin follwed Lysacek to BC for the games, and the two have finally confirmed that they are a couple. Finally, I can now move on with my life.

“We became good friends and have become really close since then,” says Lysacek. The two attended the ESPYs together last July and the relationship picked up steam after that, they say.

In August, Lysacek went to Dallas to cheer on Liukin during her gymnastics comeback at the U.S. Nationals. “It was cool but nerve-racking watching her compete – to be on the balance beam like that? For me, it’s easier to do it then watch it,” says Lysacek, 24. –People.

I can’t imagine that dating an Olympic gymnast would be the worst thing in the world. No, that would have to be wearing a unitard with feathered sleeves. There’s no place to blow your nose! I guess you could actually use a tissue, you know, if you swing that way.

UPDATE: We added about 20 more pics to the gallery. You’re welcome.

Lost in the shuffle in the Saints-mania Who Dat Nation commotion is the fact that both conferences are being represented by significantly high-profile WAGs. Obviously, Kim Kardashian has made a steady stream of headlines while hanging off the arm of running back Reggie Bush. But the Colts are well-represented in the tabloids as well, by none other than fellow reality TV star Kendra Wilkinson.

Wilkinson married wide receiver Hank Baskett–then a Philadelphia Eagle–last June. But now Baskett plays for Indianapolis, and even though he might be the only guy to whom Peyton doesn’t throw the ball, his arrival in Miami, with Kendra’s, should make for a fine reception.

Passion Nightclub in Miami “is where I’m throwin my partayyyyyy,” the Kendra star writes on Twitter of her plans for Super Bowl week. “And, yes, family will be watching the baby that night. LOL.”

Responding to an Internet report that Kardashian will be driving in a monstrous bullet-proof Armor Horse Vault XXL2 Limousine, Wilkson reveals what she’ll be cruising in to her Feb. 5 party: “Budget renta car. Lololo.”
–People.

That’s just how she rolls. I’ll be curious to see if Kendra gets any camera time on Super Sunday. Baskett had five catches all season heading into the playoffs. By comparison, that makes Reggie’s running out of bounds during the fall appear almost workmanlike.